Glitter

Regan's POV:

I sat on Riley's couch staring at the TV as it droned on. I had come down from the heroin a long time ago however as soon as both Riley and I had come down he had brought out something else I'd never done. Meth.

At first it had been amazing. Riley and I had talked and laughed so hard our sides hurt. Now however I was coming down and I felt like shit. Riley was asleep on the couch, snoring loudly.

I glanced at the clock and saw it was 9 at night and all I could think about was going home. I missed my bed and there was no way that I was sleeping on Riley's bed. God only knew what was growing on it. I remembered Riley's room when he still lived at home and I had been terrified that something would crawl out of the mess and eat me whole.

Quickly scrawling a note on a random sheet of paper I let it on Riley's chest before heading down to my car. Okay so it's probably not the smartest idea to drive but it was the only way that I was going to get home. I wasn't about to call Ronnie or Max and have them pick me up.

I don't know why but just thinking of Max and Ronnie made me suddenly miss them. Pulling my keys from my pocket I headed to my car. I climbed in and began to make my way home.

I'm not sure how I managed to get home in one piece or without getting pulled over by the cops but I did. Pulling into the driveway I saw that the house was dark. Could Max and Ronnie be asleep? Surely they wouldn't leave me.

I hurried up to the front door only to find the door locked. I put my key into the lock and pushed it open. I was greeted only by silence.

"Ronnie? Max?" I called through the house however I got no response.

I walked though the house but still found that they were no where. They weren't home. They had left me. Before I knew it memories began to fill my head.

I walked up the cracked cement path to Max's front door. It was 8 in the morning and today Escape The Fate was leaving for tour and I was going with them. I was going to get to meet the new singer that would be replacing my brother and we were going to leave this godforsaken town behind for a while.

I was excited.

I needed this.

With Ronnie in jail, Dad was working his ass off covering all the legal fees that had piled up and hadn't been home. I was thankful for Max because without him I had no one. Other than Ronnie he was my protector, my rock. Riley had never been dependable as a big brother even when we'd been kids and he hadn't been fucked up off whatever he was high on.

I reached the front door and reached out rapping a short rhythm on the wood. There was some movement on the other side of the door and a moment later Max's younger brother Todd answered.

"Regan?" he asked when he saw it was me.

"Hey Toddy! Maxy up yet?" I asked.

"Uh...yeah....but he's not here." Todd replied.

"Not here? What do you mean? I thought him and all the guys were sleeping here last night. Did they go to Monte's or Rob's?"

"They did sleep here Regan. Um...Jesus Christ i'm going to kill Max...They left at 5 this morning. They're gone." he replied.

"G-Gone?" I asked, a lump forming in my throat.

"Yeah. I thought Max was taking you with him." He said.

"So did I." I replied as I felt the tears began to well up in my eyes.

"I'm so sorry Regan." Todd said.

"It's...It's okay. I guess I'm just going to go now. Thanks Todd." I said and walked back to my car.

I sobbed the whole way home. The people that I cared so much about me had left. I was alone. And here I was again, alone.

Suddenly I felt the bile began to rise in my throat and I ran for the bathroom. I collapsed on the tile floor in front of the toilet just in time to empty the contents of my my stomach into the bowl. I hadn't eaten much that day so there wasn't much to come up.

Flushing the toilet I pulled myself up from the floor and began to run water over my face. I dried my face off with a towel and my eye caught my dad's razor lying next to the soap.

I came home to an empty house. I was soaked. It had began to rain on the way home and I hadn't brought an umbrella or anything with me.

Dad had left a note to say that he was going to be working through the night again along with a 20 dollar bill to order myself something to eat. I threw the note to the side and stuffed the $20 into my pocket before walking upstairs.

I don't know what I had been planning when I walked up there but the silence that filled the house seemed to press in on me. My dad couldn't care less that he had a daughter at home who was raising herself, Max had gone off on tour without saying a word to me and was probably banging some groupie slut at that moment and Ronnie was in jail and refused to see anyone but his fucking friend Nason.

I was alone.

With that thought in my head I walked downstairs to the kitchen and found a knife. It was small but sharp. Walking back upstairs it felt like I was on autopilot. I took the bottle of Vicodin that sat in the medicine cabinet from when Dad had pulled his back and walked to Ronnie's room.

Lightning flashed as I walked over to his bed and crawled in, wet clothes and all. This is where I always slept when there was a thunderstorm. The only thing that had changed was Ronnie wasn't there.

I counted out seven Vicodin and swallowed them with a glass of water I'd gotten from the kitchen along with the knife. Once they were down I pressed the silver blade to the inside of my wrist and pressed until I drew blood, drawing it down my forearm. Eventually the loss of blood and amount of drugs in my system made my eyes slip closed.

I opened my eyes and looked down at my wrists. My old scars were bleeding along with a dozen or so other cuts of varying degrees of severity down my arms. My fingertips were cut from where I had pried the plastic cover off of the razor to get to the blades.

My body slid to the floor, the tile cold under my body. I hadn't realized what I'd even done. However I didn't regret it. As my eyes slid closed for a second time I thought I heard the familiar voices of my brother and Max but I knew I was wrong. They were gone. They had left me here. I just hoped they were happy now that they wouldn't have to worry about me.