Glitter

*Ronnie’s POV*

I stared at Regan. Her dark hair was spread over the pillow, the black contrasting sharply with the white and the bright colors of her tattoos standing out against the dull blue fabric of the blanket. Her skin was pale and she had all sorts of tubes and things sticking out of her.

My brain was a mix of feelings right now. The main one was anger.

Anger at myself mostly. This was my fault. Just like it was my fault the first time.

I had made such a big deal out of cutting people of out my life that she was scared that I’d completely cut her out of mine. How could I ever do that? I’d loved her since the moment I’d saw her.

I sat in the hospital waiting room, my feet dangling above the floor. Riley was beside me watching TV but I was too busy wondering about the baby that was going to come. Would they like me? What if they didn’t?

My thoughts were interrupted by my dad walking into the room.

“Boys…would you like to come meet the baby?”

I jumped up excited but Riley dragged his feet. He didn’t want another baby. I don’t think he really wanted me either but it was like mom said when we fought.

We were stuck together.

Dad lead us down the hall. I heard babies crying everywhere. Was the baby going to be that loud? I hoped not.

We walked into Mom’s room and the baby was laying in a small bed wrapped in a pink blanket.

“Boys…say hello to your new baby sister…Regan.” he said and picked up the baby and bent down to show her to us.

“It’s a girl?!? EW!” Riley said curling his nose up at her.

“Now Riley I’m sure you’ll love her just as much as you would if she was a boy.” Dad said.

“No! I don’t want a girl!” Riley said and walked over and sat in the corner pouting.

“How about you Ronnie, what do you think of your baby sister?” Dad asked.

“Can I hold her?” I asked.

Dad smiled, “Sure. C’mere.”

He sat me in a chair and put a pillow in my lap. Once I was settled he laid her on my lap.

She was so tiny. Her hair was dark like mine and she had long lashes. Her face was pink and her hand was smaller than mine. I reached out and gently touched her cheek then her hand. Suddenly she grabbed onto my finger and held it tight.

“I think she’s beautiful.” I smiled at Dad.

“You’re her big brother Ronnie…it’s going to be your job to take care of her.” Dad said.

Some big brother I was. Regan was in the hospital and it was my fault. If she hadn’t been scared that she’d lose me she wouldn’t have hidden her relationship with Max from me. Then with my hot head I’d gotten pissed and she’d run off and ran to Riley. The brother that had ignored her because he was the only one she thought cared.

“Any change?”

I looked up and saw Max walk in with two cups of coffee.

I shook my head, “Nothing. Not a twitch.” I replied.

Max sighed and handed me a cup of coffee. I sipped it and we took back up or positions on either side of her bed. I looked at Max.

He looked sick. There was a trace of stubble on his chin and he had gray circles under his eyes. We’d been up all night looking for Regan and now we’d been up for another 6 hours waiting for her to wake up.

That’s when it hit me. He really did love her. He was good for her.

It was Max that she had trusted her secret addiction to. And it was Max the helped her off the oxys. And I had been to blinded by my own anger to see that. If Regan pulled through this I didn’t care if she married Max as long as she was happy.

We were silent as we watched her breathe. At some point I dozed off. I don’t know how long I slept just that when I opened my eyes Max was sprawled out on the couch in the corner and Regan was looking back at me.

“Regan!” I yelled my voice cracking.

“Hey.” she said with a small smile.

“How are you feeling?” I asked.

“My wrists hurt.” she replied.

“Do you want me to get the nurse and see if she can give you something?” I asked.

She shook her head, “It’s nothing I can’t deal with.”

Suddenly there was a snort and Max sat up. He looked around like he was lost for a few moments before he realized Regan was awake.

“Regan!” he said and jumped and walked over to the other side of her bed.

“Hi Max.” she smiled.

He leaned down to kiss her but she moved her head.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“What’s wrong? You’re asking me what’s wrong?!?” she asked her voice rising.

“Regan calm down.” I said.

“No! I’m not going to calm down! You ask me what’s wrong? You’re what’s wrong! You and Max! How you both can’t get along! How I feel like I’m having to choose between my big brother and the guy I love! It’s not fair! I love you both!” she said as tears began to stream down her cheeks.

“We know Regan. We’re sorry.” Max said sitting down on the bed side.

“It’s just….It’s so stupid for you two to fight! I’m not going to choose! I refuse! Ronnie you’re my big brother and I love you unconditionally. And Max you were the first guy I ever really loved. I don’t want to choose. I’d rather not have either of you if you’re going to make me.” she said wiping the tears at her eyes.

“Regan…we’re not going to make you choose. I’m not going to make you choose. I’m not cutting you out of my life for this. You’re my baby sister and I love you regardless. If being with Max is what makes you happy then be with him.” I said looking at her.

“Really?” she asked.

“Yeah really?” Max asked.

I laughed, “Yes I mean it.”

“Oh my god Ronnie I love you!” Regan said and hugged me.

“So do I!” Max said and walked over and hugged me.

“Hey…Ronnie no stealing my man!” Regan laughed and I couldn’t help but smile.