This Is Not My Body

Rest by Green Day

Hey can you hear me?
I'm calling your name
Hello? Or is this goodbye?
The gleam in your eyes
It troubles my brain
Will I see it again?
So I can rest my head

Angel...Angel! Dancing away
As all of my thoughts get rearranged
Angel...Angel! Turning away
Just when things seem
To have changed
So I can rest my head

Hey can you hear me?
I'm calling your name
Hello? Or is this goodbye?
The gleam in your eyes
It troubles my brain
Will I see it again?

I sing loudly along with Billie trying to make this pain go away.

So I can rest my head
So I can rest my head!!!!

I have this feeling of just wanting to get all of this out in the open, but there is no one to complain to, so I just whisper it to myself, and Green Day.

" God that idiot, I can't believe that prick, low life, son of a bitch cheated on me, after all we have been threw."

The song ended and I'm left feeling a little better knowing that my favorite lead singer of my favorite band, had to go threw this when he was my age, and he sounded just as hurt by his break up as I did about mine.

But I am still have tears streaming down my face, i also still feel this feeling of being empty, and alone. This hopefully short depression was caused by my boy friend of two years Matt, I just found out today that he has been cheating on me with a girl in his class. It kills me that I wasted two years of my life with this guy and I knew something was going on sense he left for college. He lives all the way in Colorado and i trusted he would stay loyal to me, but guess who was wrong, me!!

I wanted to surprise Matt for his birthday so I went to Colorado hoping to spend a nice weekend with the love of my life, but boy was I in for a surprise. I found the spare key under the flower pot and let myself in I was hoping to find my love sleeping in his bed looking cute, and...

Oh I found him in his bed alright, but there was someone else in it, its the school slut he has been telling me about, I didn't even bother waking him up, I just left and caught the next flight back to NY.

I have been in my room ever sense, when he called me the next day to complain about me not calling him on his birthday, I told him about what I saw. He tried every excuse in the book, but I wasn't buying it one bit. I told him never to speak to me again, and that was that.

I took a look at the clock, it was going on 2 in the morning i have been sitting here for ten hours just listing to my favorite band Green Day, just trying to make this pain go away, and it was really helping. Everyone who knows me knows I love Green Day, they are the air that I breath, and every time I'm down I just put their songs on and I feel better.

I just couldn't keep my eyes open anymore so I decided to go try and get some sleep.

" I wish I was out of this stupid life, my dad is dead, my mom has a stupid new husband, who I hate for a good reason, I am failing school, and I just had my heart broken."

I looked up at one of my many Green Day posters and just thought what it would be like to meet them, or to even be them for a day. I look at Billie and Adrienne sure they have had problems in the past but they have remained in love for 16 years, I just want to feel what that's like, one day hopefully.

I closed my eyes not thinking anything would be different the next morning.