This Is Not My Body
Abbey's Story
Abbey's P.O.V -
When Billie asked me about my abusive step father I was taken back to when I was 11, when my mother got married to that sun of a bitch. My dad, my hero, died of cancer when I was only 10 years old, ( one of the many reasons I love Green Day so much.). He was the only one who really under stud me in my out of my family of five. He was my music teacher, my soft ball couch, my super man, my safety blanket, and most of all my hero. My father was my only my only protector from my abusive mother.
Out of her three children I got it the most, I couldn't tell you why she picked me, maybe it was because I was her middle child, maybe I was a bad baby, is it because I don't have her eyes, or it could be that she never wanted me? My older sister Margaret was always the star of the family, if she blinked she got moms love, she was the only child my mother didn't abuse and my little brother wasn't as loved as his older sister Margaret because my mom never wanted a boy child, in fact she almost put him up for adoption behind my fathers back. My little brother James is the sweetest little brother I could ever ask for, when he was brought home from the hospital I loved him. But my mother thought different, every time her would make a mistake she would hit him, every time he fell from learning hoe to walk she would hit him, when he peed his pants at the age of 3 she hit him, every mistake he made she saw it as a opportunity to leave her mark on him. He eventually got smart and got fast legs and now of my mother was to go after him he would be to fast for her to catch.
But as for me, sure I got hit, I got called names, but the thing that hurt the worst is I was ignored. When my father would leave for work I became just a shadow on the wall, and if I would try to ask my mother for anything she would just shut me out and ignore me. She would sometimes forget to feed me lunch, and she would often forget to change my dipper, and would just flat out ignore my prescience.
I couldn't wait till my dad got home because I knew I would get the love and the attention I deserved. He would hold me tight when he would walk in the door and I would try my best to stay in his arms for the rest of the night, because I knew I was safe there. My father never knew what went on when he left for work every dad well because we were to young to under stand that it was abuse, and when we got old enough to under stand what was going on my mother threatened us.
When I reached the age of 10 the beatings went down a bit because I started fighting back, and my father was just wasting away before my eyes. He came home from work one day and told the family he had cancer in his lungs. My father was a great man but was a heavy smoker so it really is no surprise he developed cancer. Over the next three months I saw my dad slowly slip away, he just wasn't my super hero any more, he was a very sick man and on September 8, 2000 James Michael Carder lost his battle to cancer.
Everything just happened so fast and my mother got over my father so quickly, it wasn't even two months after my father died that she fell in love with Nick Mezzo. Nick Mezzo is a drunk, low life truck driver for UPS. He came into our house and felt like he deserved respect. My sister was already out of the house living with her baby daddy Mike, on the other side of town, so it was just my brother James and me. Nick felt like he needed to show my brother how to be a man, so he would come home every day and put a belt to his back.
Nick really didn't bother with me until I found out he was wiping my little brother with his belt. One day when i was yelling at him to stop, he looked at me and said,
" James its hard to be a man I know, but when you become a man you need to show your women who's boss. Your older sister is not disciplined and I am going to show you what you do to a women if she doesn't listen to what you have to say. "
He then charged at me and raped me right in front of my brothers eyes. I never thought my first time would be with my mother husband, and I was so scarred I never looked at men he same way again. My little brother tried to protect me when he got to be around to being 13, 14 years old, but Nick is 6 foot 2 and over 300 pounds James wasn't strong enough to stop him. I also eventually sent him away to live with my grandparents because I couldn't stand seeing him live like this anymore. I would have gone to my grandparents to but Nick said if I even think about going he will rape me and the kill me slowly.
Almost every other weekend my step father would rape me if I ever wanted to go anywhere, if I failed a test, if I didn't do as he said, or if he just felt like it. I do hate Nick with all my might but I hate my mother for letting it continue. She supports Nick raping me because she thinks it keeps me in line.
.................................................................................
I forgot I was still on the phone with Billie,
Billie - " Abbey, hello?"
Me - " Billie, Billie please, don't make me remember, I don't want to remember, please."
Billie - " Alright Abbey, you don't have to tell me right now, but when we get switched back I want to talk about you maybe going to live with, I don't know maybe a grandparent or something. Or hell, I'll even let you live with me till you get on your feet. But after watching what happened tonight I don't want you coming back here."
Me - " You, you would really let me live with you?"
Billie - " You bet, I don't want you ever coming back here again."
Me - " Thank you Billie, you don't know how much that means to me."
Billie - " No problem, oh and by the way I am catching a plain at around 4 o'clock in the morning, and I arrive at around 10 o'clock near you ok?"
Me - " Ok, do you want me to pick you up, can I drive your car, I do have a licence?"
Billie - " Yeah just be careful, that car is kind of my baby, (he chuckled) oh and before I hang up, how's my family?"
Me - " They are doing great, Adrienne kissed me I hope that's ok?"
Billie - " Yeah, I don't want her finding out, so if you must, this might seem wired, but if you must have sex with her to keep her happy, I can't believe I'm saying this, but do it, just keep her happy."
Me - " Ok I will try my best."
Billie - " Thanks Abbey, so I'm heading to the air port because I really don't want to stay here anymore with that freak of a step dad of yours."
Me - " I don't blame you for that, be safe, and text me when you get there so I know your ok."
Billie - " Alright, I'll talk to you soon Abbey, bye."
Me - " Bye Billie, oh and Billie I am so sorry about everything, I promise I will find a way to get you and you family back together."
Billie - " Its ok kid, and I promise you will never have to go back to this night mare of a house."
Me - " That means a lot, and my parents shouldn't give you a problem just tell them your leaving and walk out the door, they wont ask why. If they do, witch they shouldn't just call me."
Billie - " Ok. I'll call you when I leave the house."
Me - " Ok, bye Billie."
Billie - " By Abbey."
When Billie asked me about my abusive step father I was taken back to when I was 11, when my mother got married to that sun of a bitch. My dad, my hero, died of cancer when I was only 10 years old, ( one of the many reasons I love Green Day so much.). He was the only one who really under stud me in my out of my family of five. He was my music teacher, my soft ball couch, my super man, my safety blanket, and most of all my hero. My father was my only my only protector from my abusive mother.
Out of her three children I got it the most, I couldn't tell you why she picked me, maybe it was because I was her middle child, maybe I was a bad baby, is it because I don't have her eyes, or it could be that she never wanted me? My older sister Margaret was always the star of the family, if she blinked she got moms love, she was the only child my mother didn't abuse and my little brother wasn't as loved as his older sister Margaret because my mom never wanted a boy child, in fact she almost put him up for adoption behind my fathers back. My little brother James is the sweetest little brother I could ever ask for, when he was brought home from the hospital I loved him. But my mother thought different, every time her would make a mistake she would hit him, every time he fell from learning hoe to walk she would hit him, when he peed his pants at the age of 3 she hit him, every mistake he made she saw it as a opportunity to leave her mark on him. He eventually got smart and got fast legs and now of my mother was to go after him he would be to fast for her to catch.
But as for me, sure I got hit, I got called names, but the thing that hurt the worst is I was ignored. When my father would leave for work I became just a shadow on the wall, and if I would try to ask my mother for anything she would just shut me out and ignore me. She would sometimes forget to feed me lunch, and she would often forget to change my dipper, and would just flat out ignore my prescience.
I couldn't wait till my dad got home because I knew I would get the love and the attention I deserved. He would hold me tight when he would walk in the door and I would try my best to stay in his arms for the rest of the night, because I knew I was safe there. My father never knew what went on when he left for work every dad well because we were to young to under stand that it was abuse, and when we got old enough to under stand what was going on my mother threatened us.
When I reached the age of 10 the beatings went down a bit because I started fighting back, and my father was just wasting away before my eyes. He came home from work one day and told the family he had cancer in his lungs. My father was a great man but was a heavy smoker so it really is no surprise he developed cancer. Over the next three months I saw my dad slowly slip away, he just wasn't my super hero any more, he was a very sick man and on September 8, 2000 James Michael Carder lost his battle to cancer.
Everything just happened so fast and my mother got over my father so quickly, it wasn't even two months after my father died that she fell in love with Nick Mezzo. Nick Mezzo is a drunk, low life truck driver for UPS. He came into our house and felt like he deserved respect. My sister was already out of the house living with her baby daddy Mike, on the other side of town, so it was just my brother James and me. Nick felt like he needed to show my brother how to be a man, so he would come home every day and put a belt to his back.
Nick really didn't bother with me until I found out he was wiping my little brother with his belt. One day when i was yelling at him to stop, he looked at me and said,
" James its hard to be a man I know, but when you become a man you need to show your women who's boss. Your older sister is not disciplined and I am going to show you what you do to a women if she doesn't listen to what you have to say. "
He then charged at me and raped me right in front of my brothers eyes. I never thought my first time would be with my mother husband, and I was so scarred I never looked at men he same way again. My little brother tried to protect me when he got to be around to being 13, 14 years old, but Nick is 6 foot 2 and over 300 pounds James wasn't strong enough to stop him. I also eventually sent him away to live with my grandparents because I couldn't stand seeing him live like this anymore. I would have gone to my grandparents to but Nick said if I even think about going he will rape me and the kill me slowly.
Almost every other weekend my step father would rape me if I ever wanted to go anywhere, if I failed a test, if I didn't do as he said, or if he just felt like it. I do hate Nick with all my might but I hate my mother for letting it continue. She supports Nick raping me because she thinks it keeps me in line.
.................................................................................
I forgot I was still on the phone with Billie,
Billie - " Abbey, hello?"
Me - " Billie, Billie please, don't make me remember, I don't want to remember, please."
Billie - " Alright Abbey, you don't have to tell me right now, but when we get switched back I want to talk about you maybe going to live with, I don't know maybe a grandparent or something. Or hell, I'll even let you live with me till you get on your feet. But after watching what happened tonight I don't want you coming back here."
Me - " You, you would really let me live with you?"
Billie - " You bet, I don't want you ever coming back here again."
Me - " Thank you Billie, you don't know how much that means to me."
Billie - " No problem, oh and by the way I am catching a plain at around 4 o'clock in the morning, and I arrive at around 10 o'clock near you ok?"
Me - " Ok, do you want me to pick you up, can I drive your car, I do have a licence?"
Billie - " Yeah just be careful, that car is kind of my baby, (he chuckled) oh and before I hang up, how's my family?"
Me - " They are doing great, Adrienne kissed me I hope that's ok?"
Billie - " Yeah, I don't want her finding out, so if you must, this might seem wired, but if you must have sex with her to keep her happy, I can't believe I'm saying this, but do it, just keep her happy."
Me - " Ok I will try my best."
Billie - " Thanks Abbey, so I'm heading to the air port because I really don't want to stay here anymore with that freak of a step dad of yours."
Me - " I don't blame you for that, be safe, and text me when you get there so I know your ok."
Billie - " Alright, I'll talk to you soon Abbey, bye."
Me - " Bye Billie, oh and Billie I am so sorry about everything, I promise I will find a way to get you and you family back together."
Billie - " Its ok kid, and I promise you will never have to go back to this night mare of a house."
Me - " That means a lot, and my parents shouldn't give you a problem just tell them your leaving and walk out the door, they wont ask why. If they do, witch they shouldn't just call me."
Billie - " Ok. I'll call you when I leave the house."
Me - " Ok, bye Billie."
Billie - " By Abbey."