This Is Not My Body

My voice wasn't my voice, it sounded like Ramona's voice, like a teen age girls voice.

Mom - " Don't start with my Abbey, I'm not in the mood!"

i gave her a nasty look, and flipped out on her.

Billie - " No I'm not kidding, I'm not Abbey, what the fuck is going on?"

The women turned to me and smacked me.

Billie - " What was that for?"

She looked at me with such anger, and I thought she was going to hit me again. She has long nails so she didn't just hit me she also scratched me good.

Mom - I don't have fucking time for this Abbey, I have to go to work so take the phone already or I'll get Nick up here."

I didn't know who Nick was but I just decided to stop and listen to her.

Billie - " Hello?"

Abbey - " Hey, is this Abbey?"

When I heard this person speak I could tell it was my voice, I really started freaking out.

Billie - " Is this some kind of joke? I know my own voice so I want to know what the fuck is going on."

Abbey - " I know I have been having a great day my self, I woke up with a stick in between my legs."

Billie - " What are you talking about?"

Abbey - " Before I tell you what I think is going on, who were you yesterday?"

Billie - " What kind of a question is that?"

Abbey - " Just answer the question!"

Billie - " My name is Billie Joe Armstrong."

Abbey - " My name is Abbey Carder, I think we got our bodies mixed up."

Billie - " You think? This isn't possible, this is just some crazy scam."

Abbey - " Believe me I hate my family, but I can't live much longer with a stick in between my legs."

Billie - " I would like my stick, my wife, kids, and life back please."

Abbey - " I know we just need a few days to find out what happened and why it happened."

Billie - " Yeah and how are we going to do that?"

Abbey - " Well you are on the other side of the country, so we are going to have to get you here first."

Billie - " I will say this again, how do you expect me to do that, according to every one I am a 18 year old girl. Your parents aren't ever going to let me go across the country by myself."

Abbey - " Trust me my parents let me go where ever I want, I went to Calando once by my self and they didn't care. So you will come here and we will figure this out, just tell them you are going to visit a friend, and they will let you go."

Billie - " Ok, I am still freaked out though. Ummmm question, are you on your, ummm you period?"

Please say no, please say no!!!

Abbey - " No but it is coming up, so we will try to get is fixed before then."

Billie - " Lets hope. Well I'm going to pack I'll call you when I know what's going on."

Abbey - " Ok, and Billie, I'm sorry."

Billie - " Well it's not like you planed on this so don't be sorry. By the way when my wife comes home, don't treat her any different, I don't want her to find out, so if you must kiss her do what ever it takes."

Saying that made my heart sink, I just told someone else to kiss my wife.

Abbey - " Ok Billie, I will try my best.''