Reaching You

I was really nervous asking that question, actually. I’ve never been nervous about anything. Maybe except turning in my tests to Dad.

Skyler just looked at me, shocked. Was he shocked because that was his secret or because he was shocked that I would think that. But, I mean, the weight loss, the good grades, the lack of sleep, it added up.

“Wh-what?” He choked out.

“It’s a yes or no question…” I mumbled.

“No! No, I don’t do drugs! Why… why would you think that? Do I seem like the type to do them or something?” He squeaked.

When I explained the reasoning, his eyes widened again. “Weight loss? N-no, I’m not skinny. And some night I just don’t sleep well is all…”

“You’re… joking about not being skinny, right?” I asked, flabbergasted.

“Well… no…” he fidgeted with the hem of his jacket. “You’re making fun of me right?”

“No! I was being serious!”

“So… when you saw me in the bathroom and I acted funny, you thought I was doing drugs?”

“Well… yeah, pretty much,” I said. I didn’t like this. I didn’t want to make Skyler mad, I really didn’t, but it just kind of happened. “Are you mad? I didn’t mean to make you mad.”

I wanted to slap myself. Not so much for making Skyler mad but for being nice like this. Where was my regular asshole self when I needed to be cold and uncaring? What should I have cared if I made him angry or sad? I don’t know why, but I did. Maybe it’s because he’s the first person I’ve talked to in awhile that didn’t make me feel bad about my achievements or that didn’t drive me insane with their stupidity.

“I guess… I’m not mad but… I don’t do drugs,” he told me.

“Then… what were you doing in the bathroom?”

He looked at me, terrified. What was there to be afraid of? It couldn’t be that bad if it wasn’t drugs.

“You’ll tell them,” he said.

I grabbed his shoulders, forcing him to look at me. “No, I’m not. I just… want to know.”

“You don’t really care, do you, though?” He asked, biting his lip and looking away again.

I took a deep breath. “Actually… I… kind of do.” He gave me a weird look. “Don’t give me that look.”

He removed my hands from him before he sat down on my bed. “I… just got sick. I mean, I haven’t been eating much lately and when I do, I can’t really keep it down. I’ve just been sick; I think it’s the flu. I was coughing a bit last night and couldn’t really sleep.”

I sighed, glad it wasn’t something else, something worse. “Why wouldn’t you want Amanda to know? I’m sure she’d make you soup or something.”

“I just… don’t like it when people worry about me, that’s all.”

I laughed. “Sometimes it’s nice to have the luxury of people worrying about you.”

His eyes caught something on my shelf. “You seriously have this?”

“What?”

“The useless book of facts!” he squealed, like a little kid. Then he pulled it off the shelf.

“Yeah, a friend got it for me before he moved. I haven’t read it yet. I have to finish a report, why don’t you read it out loud to me while I finish it?”

He smiled and flopped on my bed before reading it.