Reaching You

“So, I hear you and Haven are… y’know… getting along,” Amanda giggled next to me and elbowing my side playfully.

“What?” I squeaked.

“Just saying you guys are becoming fast friends. Which is rare for him, I hear.”

“Oh, I see.”

“Skyler… umm…” I looked over at Amanda who stopped in the hallway, nibbling at her lip.

“What is it?” I asked.

She then wrapped her arms around mine and said it was nothing. I shrugged as we continued to the class that I’ve been strangely looking forward to; world events.

Honestly, I think I can call Haven my friend now. I mean, I know we’re not amazingly close or anything but he’s kind of fun to talk to even if he’s a little assertive sometimes.

Besides, he’s coming over to my house again today.

“So, you and Haven spend a lot of time together,” the girl giggled.

“He’s fun to talk to, actually. We get along okay,” I told her.

“Mhmm… are you sure it’s not something… more than that?” Then she broke out in laughter as my face heated up. I definitely wasn’t thinking about that. I’ve really have given up on liking anyone else. I don’t think I can face the rejection again. Perhaps I’m a coward, but I don’t care. I have a right to be after I’ve given a person all of me, everything I had to offer and I still get nothing. I’ll just wait until someone says they like me first.

“Fine, loser, then who do you like?”

“So you do like him?” She asked, her eyes getting wide.

“No. I don’t even know him that well. So anyways?”

She looked away. “I can’t tell you.”

“What? Why not?” I asked. I mean, Amanda was quite pretty, I’ll say that much. So if she thought I’d tell them, though I wouldn’t, they’d probably be so happy they’d go out with her regardless.

“Because, you’ll be mad,” she said, her arms falling from mine.

“Just tell me,” I pleaded.

I wish I hadn’t though. “It’s Laine.” She finally admitted.

I somehow shrugged it off. “I’ll ask him out for you.”

Perhaps it was something that would help me completely get over the rejection because I know I haven’t. Amanda was my friend and I know she’s a great person. There’s no reason for Laine to reject her.

“I… are you sure?” She asked.

I nodded.

“Thank you Skyler, really. You have no idea,” she said, sighing.

*~*~*~*~*

In my seventh period class, I sat next to Laine. After doing our worksheet, I finally worked up the courage to ask him about his relationships.

“Hey, who was that girl you left us for when we were writing the article? Are you going out with her?”

“Nah, I wouldn’t ever go out with Kate. She’s always all over me all the time. Clingy girls are the worst.”

“What about… Amanda?”

“She’s pretty cute. And pretty down to earth. I guess I’d go out with her. Why? Does she like me?”

“Yeah, just meet her after school.” I felt my heart drop as I said those things.

When the bell rang, I hurried outside and to my car. As I began driving, I got a text so I read it at a stop light. Thank you so much Skyler! Laine said he’d go out with me!

How is it that she’s better than me? It’s because she’s skinny and pretty, I know. But I gave him everything! I loved him so much before. What was wrong with me?!

With that, I sped home. Thank god Mom wasn’t going to me home because she had to work late tonight.

I ran upstairs and to my room. In my fit of anger and frustration, I wiped all the stuff off my dresser and let it crash to the floor.

Why didn’t I get my chance? And yet she does?

I don’t hate Amanda, really I don’t. I just… I’m mad and… confused.

I felt tears form and slide down my cheeks. I must have been a pitiable sight. Crying over what I couldn’t have even if I didn’t really like him anymore. I should’ve been happy for Amanda, I know, but instead, I’m sad for myself.

How selfish could I be?

Just then, Haven walked into my room. “Skyler?” I even kind of forgot that he was coming over.