Reaching You

I wonder if Skyler knew how difficult it was to tell him about the drugs. I also wondered if he was really okay with it. I didn’t lie about anything though, like, not being high when I was with him. I always timed everything just right, trying not to let the high last too long or too short.

Skyler had his knees pulled up to his chest and had his arms around them. He probably didn’t even know he was smiling like he was.

Is it sad that we’re both high school seniors, less than a month away from graduating and we’ve never really gone out with anyone? I don’t really mind, if I was just waiting for Skyler, then I don’t care about any other relationships.

Since the past five months, Skyler’s really put on weight; it was great. He looked so healthy now. His cheeks were full, his bones were concealed beneath his skin. He was a little chubby but it was adorable. Personally, I thought it made him cuter. If his weight was Laine’s problem, I couldn’t understand why. Skyler looked good with excess weight rather than less weight. Laine’s obviously an idiot. How could he not see that Skyler was perfect? Was he really that shallow? Well, no matter, because if Laine had gone out with Skyler, I’d have never been able to be with him.

I can’t understand these fucking idiots who think weight is so important and that more of it is unattractive. I guess they don’t understand that refusing someone just because of their weight can have profound effects on the other. Skyler fucking starved himself so that people would accept him as date-able. I can’t believe that he should have to feel so pushed to lose weight that he’d have to do that.

I pulled Skyler closer to me, letting one arm slide around his shoulders. He stiffened before trying to awkwardly settle against me. True enough, neither of us really knew what to do with a relationship, but I was determined to figure it out with him. This is pretty new to each of us, though.

“S-sorry if I’m a bad boyfriend, it’s just… no one’s really liked me before,” Skyler said quietly.

“Define bad boyfriend,” I said. He just looked away, biting his lip. “Because a bad boyfriend is someone who’d cheat and make the other person in the relationship constantly feel bad about themselves. And you’re too nice for that.”

“It’s just… no one’s… ever liked me before,” he whispered. “It’s new and weird. A-A good weird though! That is, I’m happy.”

I laughed at how flustered he was getting and hugged him to my body.

“I didn’t plan on telling you that I liked you,” Skyler said.

“You were afraid?” I was pretty sure that was the reason. After what he went through with Laine I can’t blame him for being scared.

“Being rejected by you… I feel like it would’ve destroyed me,” he said quietly.

“I’m not like Laine. I wouldn’t have hurt you like that. I mean, I can understand that he may really not have liked you like that, but how could he not notice that all that was happening with you? He was supposed to be your best friend and he let that happen to you.”

“Thank you Haven,” he said, before looking up at me through his eyelashes. It’s strange to think a guy’s cute, but Skyler was doing pretty well at being adorable.

“I just don’t understand. How can you like someone you barely know over your best friend,” I said. I know I’m harping on the subject, but… it really bothered me. I want to treat Skyler like the amazing person he is. Like how he deserves to be treated. I want him to feel loved and beautiful because he really is. Maybe he’s a little chubby, but I can’t see that being any kind of obstacle. What was Laine thinking when he turned Skyler down?

I pulled Skyler to my body, clutching him to my chest, letting the warmth of another person soak through.

“You are happy with being with me, right?” Skyler asked, biting his lip.

“I wouldn’t have asked you out if I really didn’t like you like I do,” I told him before leaning in to capture his lips with mine. I wish he’d been my first kiss, but unfortunately, he wasn’t. Skyler’s pretty calm about most things so I know it wouldn’t bother him if I ever talked about my ex’s. I have no desire to though. I’m just glad Skyler’s not like those crazy women you know at school who go off on you for talking about your ex’s or even mentioning them. Perhaps that’s part of why I like him so much; he never blows anything out of proportion.