Reaching You

Haven and I were giggling and laughing as we staggered down the hall. Haven quickly looked around before pressing his lips to mine. He pulled back, smiling. I’m happy to say that I’m glad to be with him. Things never worked out with Laine, but I suppose it was for the best. Even though the anorexia and bulimia were terrible side-effects of the heartbrokenness, I met Haven, I got to know him, I healed with his help. It was thanks to him that I’m no longer a walking skeleton. And it’s also thanks to him that I’ve found someone that I really like.

It feels nice to say that I’m finally over Laine, that I’m with someone that likes me so much that he’s willing to see past my flaws.

I wrapped my arms around his waist, plunging myself into his chest, nuzzling in the warmth. His arms snaked around my back pulling me to him. We’re about the same height, so it’s kind of nice, you know, not having to lean down or having him lean down. Though, I am a tiny bit shorter than him.

“Being the last ones to leave school is weird,” I said.

“Because the empty halls are creepy?” Haven snickered, letting go of me and walking ahead. I was too nervous to grab his hand for some reason though.

“Kind of. I read this manga called Seeds of Anxiety, it’s a short horror story collection and these two girls stayed after school to see if this ghost rumor was true and… well, I’ll show you when we get to my house,” I tried to explain.

“Aww… you’re afraid, how cute!” He mocked. I blushed, biting my lip. Who wouldn’t be nervous at an empty school?

“You know, it’s not going to be easy…” Haven said, grasping my hand.

I grit my teeth and gripped his hand back. “Yeah… I know… I did some research.”

“I’ll try not to be irritable to you. But, of course, my promises might not mean anything when the withdrawal starts,” he said, his eyebrows bent with worry.

“And I’ll try not to hit you,” I told him, chuckling.

“Feel free to if you feel like it,” he shrugged, not looking at me. I sighed before turning towards him and, without a word, I leaned in, awkwardly searching for his lips with mine. I met my destination as he pressed back into the kiss.

It’s probably strange to say that he is the only person that I’ve ever kissed when I’m eighteen years old. But I don’t mind, in fact, I’m glad that he is; I think it’s fine that I waited so long because he was definitely worth it.

But getting him off of speed was going to be a challenge for our young relationship. He’ll be irritable, he’ll have a strange sleeping schedule, and perhaps even focusing on work. He might not have enough time for me, as a boyfriend, while he’s getting well. I intend to be by his side, however, while he’s going through this.

It’s my first relationship so I don’t really know what to expect and it’s not like I’m demanding a lot from him. Am I? No, I can’t be, Haven would definitely tell me if I was.

What if Haven completely changes when he’s sober? Could it really be possible that the drugs covered his personality? No, no matter what, Haven is Haven.

*~*~*~*~*

I’m not simply with Haven because he was the only one who didn’t reject me, but because I truly like him, I’m happy just talking to him. I would’ve been just happy being by his side, being his friend, but we’re together, someone likes me and I like them back. I honestly didn’t know this was possible for me.

“Honey, you’ve barely touched any of your food,” Mom said before smiling. It was kind of rare that we ate together like this. It had made a gateway for my eating disorder, I suppose. Not that I blame Mom, she was a single mother, working nights at the hospital. She was a great mother. I knew she was aware of my weight loss, and she questioned me about it. I never told her the truth though, I just said it was from eating half-portions. I wondered if she ever guessed the truth.

She probably deserves some truth; perhaps I should tell her that I’m at least dating Haven. What if she doesn’t take it well, though? “Dad says he’s bringing you back something from the UK.”

I chuckled. “He always brings something back for me.”

“So, what’s been going on,” she asked, taking a bite of steak. I can’t say I was expecting an opening so fast.

I stirred my mac and cheese around for a few seconds before saying, “I’m… going out with someone…”

I heard some clatter of silverware against a plate. “That’s great honey! Have I met them?”

I felt chills run through my body, my palms were sweating, my heart racing. Fear consumed me. It was terrifying, the possibility of my mother rejecting me after all the years of love.

“Kind of… They been over a few times when you were here,” I told her, stabbing at the pasta with my fork as a distraction.

“Oh, that Haven boy?” She asked casually.

I honestly thought my heart would stop at that. “Y-You’re not…”

“Mad? Honey, the day I don’t know my own kid is the day my little finger becomes to queen of England,” she laughed. “I think it’s great you found someone.”

“How did you know I…”

“Oh, a mother has her ways,” she laughed again.

Well, that’s one heart attack that’s over with. Though, I’ll probably wait awhile until I tell her everything else…