Reaching You

I pressed my lips against Haven’s, letting my hands come up to cup his cheeks, not wanting to let go. He pressed against my lips harder, his fingers coming up to tangle in my hair. He was smiling into the kiss as we attached our lips. My cheeks had to be quite red by now. I’m not used to kissing or being in a relationship so you can imagine how new this all is for me.

When he pulled away, our eyes met and he had some kind of question in them. So I just closed my eyes and let him do as he wanted. If it was him, it was okay. Our lips were connected again and he was moving his lips with mine, and I could still feel the smile on his face. And I love that, I love how he smiles when we kiss.

Then he let his tongue dab at my mouth. I knew my face went completely red at that. I didn’t know what to do though. Should I go with it or should I reject it? I know he’d understand if I didn’t want to so it was up to me.

Reluctantly, I opened my mouth to allow him entrance. My hands found their way to his waist and held on there. It was mostly to keep him from moving wrong and finding out that… I was… err… aroused… by this. It was far too early for us to expose ourselves to each other. And besides, sex scared me. I just don’t want him to remove my shirt and see my body underneath. I’m still self conscious and I don’t think that’ll stop but… I’ve been turned down because of my looks many times before so of course it still scares me.

Either way, his tongue searched my mouth, rubbing against my own unresponsive one and lapping at the pockets of my cheeks. Is it bad to get… aroused while kissing like this? I feel like such a loser because I hardly know how this works and what’s normal while you’re in a relationship.

We broke apart, our breathing a little heavy. Haven smiled and chuckled. “I’ve really wanted to do that for a little while. Kiss you like that I mean… Man, your face is so red.”

Suddenly my hands went up to my face to cover my cheeks… or cool them down. We’re in his house, alone, so it’s okay to do this. I still couldn’t believe they did this kind of thing in a store.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s cute,” he said, chuckling.

I stared up at him, confusedly. “Cute?” I couldn’t fathom it. Me? Cute? It was strange to think that someone would even say that about me. I almost thought it was a lie. I’d been told things like this by Amanda but hearing it from someone who I was romantically interested in was completely different, or so it felt.

He must have caught my expression because then he said, “Would I lie to you?”

No, no, Haven has never lied to me. Why would he start now? He wouldn’t. He likes me, he told me so first so it couldn’t have been pity that drove him to date me.

Why couldn’t I just fully accept that he actually truly likes me?

“No. I know you wouldn’t,” I said, sighing, feeling a bit content.

“Sorry, my head’s hurting so bad today and I feel kind of sick…” he said rolling over and onto his stomach beside me.

“I’ll take care of you,” I offered.

“No, Skyler, it’ll be fine. You should probably be getting home,” he urged.

“You’re sure you don’t need me here?”

“No, I told you it’s fine!” he snapped. There was a bite of pain at that. I know that it was the withdrawal speaking, not him but it still kind of hurt.

“Okay,” I gave in before leaning in to kiss him, just a quick peck on the mouth.

“Sorry Sky,” he whispered against my lips.

Either way, I went home. Besides, I still had that err… “problem” to take care of besides, he probably needed to sleep a lot.

I hope he gets over this soon.