Reaching You

For the first time in almost forever, I blushed, actually blushed. I almost couldn’t believe what had come out of Skyler’s mouth. I know he could be a bit forceful and stick to his resolve if he really needed to or felt it necessary, but… it was… so very unexpected. He was usually so shy and he didn’t seem to want to take too much initiative.

But he was the first one to take the step and say that he loved me. But, man, was I sure that I really loved him? I know I liked him a lot, like a large amount but… dammit… was this one of the legacies my mother left behind? That I would be too afraid to love someone, truly love them, because I was afraid they’d leave. Perhaps I was afraid to say it because I would be bound to him and that might make me want to run away.

The point was, I was afraid to say those three words back. All because of the mother who left me, my family when I was young.

“I… I can’t…” I whimpered. Whimpered. If that was any indication of how terrified I was. I was even more scared of looking into Skyler’s face.

But I did.

And what was there was regret and embarrassment. My poor, beautiful, Skyler’s cute features all screwed up in fear that he had ruined what we had. I had completely forgotten about how terrified he was of rejection. He was even too scared to tell me he liked me. He was going to lock the feelings up forever if I hadn’t told him I liked him first.

As he started to get up, I grabbed his hands, trying to gently force him to sit with me. I couldn’t let this conversation end with him hurt. I had to explain and hope that he would understand.

“Wait,” I said, my voice struggling to get out. “Let me explain. I like you, a lot. And I don’t want this to end. I’m just… I’m scared.”

His eyebrows furrowed with worry as he turned his hands to hold mine. “What do you mean? I was scared to tell you today too… but… I still did.” He looked like he was on the verge of crying. It really tore me up to see him like this. I’m nothing like Laine, I promise. I won’t leave him alone, I swear. I’m not just going to abandon him like that ass hole.

“I know, I know, Skyler, really,” I tried to start. I placed my hand on his cheek and then pushed his hair back gently. “My mother had left a deeper scar than I thought.”

“And what does that mean?” He was shaking now.

“It means… I’m happy that you love me but… I don’t want to say something that means that much unless I’m sure,” I told him. My heart was pounding. I don’t want this to end. “I don’t want you to leave me.”

His body relaxed a bit from the tense position it was in. “I just thought… that you were going to completely reject me. I thought it was over.”

“No, no, no, Skyler. I wouldn’t do that. But I can’t promise you forever either,” I told him. I couldn’t promise to love him or like him forever. That just seems immature to say something like that. Something that middle school kids say. “But I will try my best to be there for you when I can.”

“I know… people who say ‘forever’ don’t last.”

I wrapped my arms around him in a reassuring hug that seemed a bit… intimate. Perhaps I should’ve shown him how serious I was about him. Was it appropriate to do something a bit sexual with him? Would he be okay with it? I know I thought it was too soon a week or so ago, but right now, I really felt like proving that I was serious.

I pressed my lips to his, quickly deepening the kiss until our tongues delved into the depths of the other’s mouths and they searched, tangled , and massaged. Within the seconds upon minutes of heated passion, I began to gently rest my hips against his. He didn’t push me away or ask to stop so I gently, so very gently, rocked our hips back and forth. I could feel that he was hard, but it was a good thing because I was, too.

The grinding got a bit rougher after a few minutes of the friction. It became increasingly demanding as time went on. And Skyler starting his tiny mewls of moans. Even I was panting and sweating because of the exhausting exercise. But it was worth it to hear Skyler’s small moan of my name as he tensed when he released. He was panting just as hard as I was, with a thin sheet of sweat across his forehead. I came just a moment afterwards and then collapsed on top of him.

I didn’t think I could come just from kissing and grinding. Must have been exclusively because of Skyler. I pressed a quick kiss to his neck before just nuzzling him. I think I’d like to spend eternity like this. But, unfortunately, we can’t because we have college to go to, jobs to get, people to be mad at… wait.

Either way, I rolled off him and had him cuddling into me. It didn’t last that long though because we had to change our pants and boxers. Good thing I leave a few clothes here.