Reaching You

If I said I wasn’t a bit sad that Haven didn’t say he loved me back, I’d be lying. But he still said he really liked me, which is definitely something. But the bit about his mother disturbed me. Why is it that she still has a hold on him when she clearly didn’t care enough to visit him throughout his childhood.

I think Haven and I will be fine, though. He likes me a lot and I love him. And I hope he’ll love me in time, and somewhere in my heart I knew he would. Bleh, that sounds really… I don’t know, mushy?

It also strikes me as strange that both of us immersed ourselves in schoolwork to avoid problems or to make us stop thinking about what we were going through. In the same way, we were coping and we found comfort within each other.

And whatever it took, no matter how arduous, I would cure the wound left by his mother.

*~*~*~*

As soon as I saw Haven the next day, I seriously blushed so hard I thought I was going to pass out. I couldn’t even believe that we had done that yesterday. And I made such embarrassing noises and… oh man, what could he had possibly been thinking while we wdoing that?

He must have known I wasn’t ready for sex so this was his way of telling me we wouldn’t do anything explicitly sexual until either I was ready, or perhaps when he could say he loves me, too.

Besides, yesterday I was so nervous. It was like I could feel the direction he wanted to go. I didn’t even really get that much sleep because all I could think about was how his body was grinding on me and how fire caught it my veins and how good it felt and… I need to stop thinking about that or I’d give myself a… “problem”.

Haven smiled and leaned down to kiss me on the cheek. “You’re blushing,” he said, chuckling. Automatically, my hand came up to cup my cheeks, feeling the warmth underneath the palms. Either way, I smiled.

*~*~*~*

I suppose all graduations are supposed to be like this, people cheering, smiling, or even fanning themselves with their pamphlets because of the sweaty gymnasium we were forced to sit in at the end of June. Our school had very strange scheduling, but at least we started in late September.

I spotted my mom in the audience sitting next to Haven’s dad and with my dad on the other side. They had become fairly good friends, my parents and his, especially when my dad came back from some kind of prolonged business trip a few weeks ago. My dad was a little weird about me dating Haven, until he met and developed a man-crush on Haven’s dad. It was mostly because of the vast collection of collectible sports bobble heads and football cards he had.

Haven did so well on his Valedictorian speech, even though he didn’t make many friends at school and he was quite the shut-in. I think a lot of people were even shocked that Haven was first in the class. I graduated Salutatorian, just behind Haven. I was happy to let Haven shine.

He was still having a bit of trouble with the speed, but he hasn’t done it a month or so. He makes me so proud of him, too.

However, he still hasn’t said he loves me. But it’s okay because we can move as slow as we want.

Laine and Amanda, though, were a different story. Amanda found out he was dating another girl behind her back. That resulted in her coming crying to me, saying how he broke her heart and how she loved him and how could he have done that to her. Or course, I was halfway expecting it because of what he had proposed to me. I decided not to drop that bomb on her just then because she was truly heartbroken and she was still my friend.

I hugged my mom and dad in the hallway as our parents were waiting for us. Of course, we all exchanged hugs and congratulations.

Haven hugged me to him before kissing my lips, which was a bit unexpected in a public setting, but it was a celebration.

“You did so well with your speech, Haven,” I told him, smiling. He hadn’t even let his grades slip when he was off of the drug. “I told you that you could do it.”

“What about some Chinese, guys?” My mom asked. I nodded eagerly and Haven was just absentmindedly smiling at me.

Unfortunately, our college started quite early, like, in July.