Reaching You

When we finally got back from my dad’s house, Haven collapsed on the bed. I scurried off to the bathroom to get dressed for bed. I still just… couldn’t do it. I could undress in front of Haven. I loved him but… there were still things I hated about myself, my body, my soul.

There were things I felt I couldn’t reveal to him. I still found my body disgusting, repulsive.

“Why don’t you dress in front of me?” Haven asked as I approached the foot of the bed. I swallowed and bit my lip. I didn’t want to disclose my fears to him just yet. But I felt like I’d have to.

“You’re still uncomfortable?” He asked, frowning.

I know I shouldn’t feel that way. He loves me… he doesn’t care what I look like under this shirt… But my brain forced that thought to the back and brought up the fact that Laine didn’t go out with me or even give me a chance because I was fat. And the same fear of rejection clung to me.

Haven wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his face into my stomach, making me blush.

“I’m sorry,” I squeaked, feeling tears of frustration forming in my eyes. I blinked them away quickly.

In a blur of motion, he pulled me onto the bed and rolled us around so that I was under him. My heart nearly stopped upon realization of how we were situated.

“I never knew how to word this before, so I’ll say it simply: you are beautiful. You’re cute, you’re adorable. Your smiles always reach your eyes. You care deeply about people. You are so much of a better person than I am. You’re stronger than anyone I’ve ever met. And Skyler? You have the most beautiful body I’ve ever seen. And that’s with clothes on. Skyler… you are the most beautiful person I know. Inside and out.”

I just looked up at him silently, letting his words sink in.

“I guess I still don’t know how to word it. I’m no poet, so it still sounds really stupid and cheesy. But I… that’s what I think of you.”

I reached up and kissed him. Innocently, at first but then it got more heated, serious, searching. Our tongues slipped into the others’ mouth. I knew this was going somewhere fast.

His hands were in my hair, giving tiny tugs as mine hands were holding him tightly to me. I didn’t care if he couldn’t find the words to express how he felt. What he said made sense to me and, well, it was nice to hear all the same.

But then his hands left my hair and began to creep up my shirt. I quickly broke the kiss and grabbed his hands, keeping them from stripping me of my shirt.

“Skyler,” He breathed, his lips brushing against mine. “Whatever you have under your shirt won’t make me want you any less.”

I took a deep breath before releasing his hands. They tenderly pushed my shirt up, slowly inching it over my stomach My heart was beating so fast if felt like it’d explode. I couldn’t read the expression on Haven’s face and it scared me to death. He won’t leave me just because of what I look like under clothes, he won’t. Right?

When the shirt reached my collarbone, Haven smiled. “Beautiful.”

Then his lips attached to one of my nipples, the other hand rubbing the other one lightly. He kissed up my chest and onto my neck, up my jaw line and past it, onto my lips. I couldn’t take the teasing anymore.

“I want you,” I whispered against his lips. “Please.”

I was embarrassed by the honesty of my words, of the breathless tone I used to convey them. Sex still scares me a bit but if I do this with anyone, I want my first to be with Haven. And I still want it, I want him.

He just smiled and told me he loved me. I should’ve known my fear was irrational.

He placed sweet, loving kissed all down my chest and stomach and he pulled off my shirt. His eyelashes brushed against my skin, making me shiver. He arrived at the waistband of my pants and kissed across the skin there before pulling my pants over my knees and onto the floor.

“Why am I the only one being undressed?” I panted out. I didn’t even know I was out of breath, or why.

He smirked before sitting upright and stripping off his shirt. Come to think of it, I’d never seen him without a shirt on. He wasn’t really muscular, but he was fairly skinny and his skin was just as pale as his arms and face were.

He dived back in for my lips as his hands worked on getting my boxers down where they were thrown amongst the rest of our clothes. This was really going to happen.

I shuddered as the cool air hit my erection. I had to fight my body to keep it from covering itself up. He kissed down my inner thighs before coming back up to lick up my member. I tensed at the new, but welcome, feeling. And then he completely encircled his mouth around me and began to suck. I knew I was so close, just from kissing already.

I had almost come… until something wet and mildly cold threatened my entrance and wiggled its way through. It didn’t hurt, it was just… strange, much stranger than I thought it would be. I still moaned out as he licked my head and kept sucking, perhaps in attempt to keep me from feeling too much pain.

Pain and pleasure balanced out as he put another finger inside of me and scissored them around inside me. But then he hit something inside of me that made my stomach explode in pleasure and made me gasp.

I felt haven smirk around me before toying with my slit again. The white lights approached again even as he put in yet another finger. Just as I was tensing up, he pulled away and chuckled.

“Sorry, I want to come together,” he whispered seductively into my ear. I bit my lip as he began to unbutton his pants and slid them off along with his boxers to reveal that he was just as turned on as I was.

He kissed all over my face before pressing his lips to mine in a soft kiss and he began to push into me. I pulled out of the kiss with a groan of pain and dug my fingers into his shoulders as I hooked my legs around him.

He said something about stopping, but it was barely coherent to me as befuddled as my head was. I almost couldn’t believe that Haven was inside of me. And then I blushed a dark red at that thought.

I shook my head and kissed him as my hips involuntarily pushed back against him, wanting more of him inside of me. It was a bit painful until I got him to hit whatever it was that he hit a bit earlier with his fingers. I let out a wanton moan at the pleasure it gave me.

And then Haven took over, slowing down the pace I was using and made it more graceful than my awkward pushing. He made every move gentle and slow as his hands carefully caressed my entire body. It was so gentle and sweet that it almost made me cry.

“I love you,” he moaned out.

“I… hah… love you, too,” I breathed out, air leaving me the closer I got.

And then he grabbed my hips a little rougher and tensed over me as he came. The feeling was indescribable and pushed me over the metaphorical edge as I released between us.

He was just sweetly kissing my neck in his post-euphoric afterglow. And, so, falling asleep in each others’ arms just seemed mandatory, so we did.