Reaching You

“So you’ve really never listened to them?” I asked. Of course, I was talking about Dir en Grey, an amazing Japanese band that I began listening to in the 8th grade and it had started me on both Japanese music and metal.

So far, Skyler hasn’t really annoyed me, which is a first. Usually whenever someone talked to me, I either got bored or annoyed, as no one really offered me an intellectual challenge in conversation. But, then again, it should just be because we haven’t talked that long at all. It could also be that he’s very quiet. Girls who told me they liked me always came right out and said it so I kind of missed the subtlety of conversation.

“No… I don’t really listen to a lot of music,” he to me as he typed up the last paragraph. Just from reading Skyler’s work, I could tell that there was a lot more brain to him than you’d think at first glance. It was obvious that he was smart by reading it.

“Do you want to?” I asked, digging in my pockets, searching for my mp3 player. I chose my favorite song from the list and handed him an ear bud.

As he listened, he closed his eyes as if he was really taking in the music. After the song was over, he opened his eyes and pulled out the ear bud. “I liked the lead singer’s vocal talent and range. It’s kind of incredible that he has the much range.”

I grinned, satisfied that someone could appreciate the music I liked for once. My friends laughed at me for liking music that was in another language.

Personally, I thought that if the band was good enough, the feelings and meaning of the song could be communicated through the sound and not the words.

“Honey, do you boys want anything to eat?” A woman, obviously Skyler’s mother, peeked in at us.

Skyler smiled at his mother and shook his head. “Nah, I’m good. Do you need anything?”

“No, thanks though.”

She smiled at us before retreating back to the hallway.

“You’re strangely polite,” Skyler suddenly spoke, giving a small chuckle. Man, that chuckle looked like it could’ve shattered his fragile body.

Again, I wondered what he was doing. Was it drugs? I knew this one guy who used to get fucked up so bad that he almost never ate. He looked like a skeleton. Like Skyler. But… Skyler seems too… how should I put it… innocent for drugs.

At least he was nice, though. Then again, there was that lingering sadness in his eyes. The way he expression softened and became almost painful to watch when he talked to Laine. Did something happen between them at some point in time? Was Skyler… in love with him?

I shook my head to get those thoughts out. I don’t need to be thinking about someone else. I just need myself. Skyler shouldn’t be anywhere near my list of priorities. But then again, I can’t avoid him, we have to work together for the next semester.

But I have this… insatiable need to make Dad proud of me. But I know I can’t. Whatever I do just… isn’t good enough. It almost feels like Dad doesn’t even love or care about me. Like he’s just this cold, empty shell, the insides of which mom scooped up and took with her the day she left.

“Are we done?” Skyler asked, facing me.

I glanced over what we’d written together. “Looks like it. Just hand off the paper to Laine.”

“Uh, could you do it? Um… My printer doesn’t work,” he requested nervously.

I eyed him strangely before pulling out my memory stick and saving the file. So… maybe he and Laine really did have something happen. But, perhaps it’s my drugged out mind just making weird connections.

The only thing I knew was that I had a feeling that his printer wasn’t really broken.