It Started with a Bet...

It's warm. Warm and bright. I stir slowly under the covers, blinking as my eyes focus. There are arms around my waist, a head curled against my back. Odd, considering Trevor's taller than me.

"Trevor?" his mom will not be pleased. He stirs slowly, then jumps when he realizes that he's cuddled up to me.

"I was keeping you away from the knives," he says quickly, blushing.

"Thanks." I sit up and start moving towards the edge of the bed. I'm still wearing jeans and a T-shirt. I want to go home and get washed and changed. A hand reaches out and grabs my arm.

"Haley, I'm sorry." I turn to look at him.

"For what?"

"For over-reacting. Everything I put into our friendship was real and it hurt to think that you had been faking it the whole time. I didn't realize that you missed me too." I look at him in surprise.

"You missed me?" he blushes.

"Of course! Sometimes I feel like you're the only one who doesn't judge me or expect anything from me. I feel like I can be myself around you."

I think back to our two weeks on beanbags and laps. It was rather uneventful, really. I don't recall him doing anything special or out of the ordinary. Then again, half the time my energy was spent on being friendly for him.

"I don't expect anything from anyone," I say truthfully, still pondering as to when he was himself and when he was the Trevor everyone else wanted him to be.

"Stay for breakfast," Trevor says as I start moving off the bed again. I nod absentmindedly.

Now I feel like I'm cheating. Like I'm hurting Trevor in some way by not being myself around him, by not caring enough to pay attention to his 'real' self.

"Good morning!" Trevor's mom says cheerily as we enter the kitchen. "have a seat, we made pancakes." it surprises me to see Trevor's dad in the kitchen as well, manning one of he frying pans. He and his wife are wearing matching pink aprons. I giggle without thinking. Maybe I should come over more often. A family like this makes me feel almost...normal.

"So, Haley, when do you want to bring your clothes over?" Trevor's dad calls from the kitchen. I look up in surprise.

"I was actually going to thank you for last night and go home after breakfast," I say. Trevor's mom shakes her head.

"We were talking about it last night. We think it would be nice if you stayed with us for a while. Trevor gets so lonely at home alone. I'm sure you do too." I nod slowly. What a way to phrase it. She's not saving my life, no. She's asking me to do her a favor. I don't like it. If I'm going to live here, it has to be my haven from pretending. The one place where everything is out in the open. I open my mouth to say something, but see Trevor. He can't see me like this.

"Say what you want," Trevor's mom tells me. Her eyes say that Trevor will need to see the real me someday.

"I don't like hiding things. I don't like pretending things are something they're not." Like pretending Trina never existed. "Just say things as they are. Please." Trevor's mom nods and smiles like she's judged me correctly and is glad.

"Well, I think it would be a good way to prevent last night from happening again and keeping both you and Trevor from getting lonely. Now, do you want me to hide the knives from you?" I shake my head.

"I don't think yesterday will happen again for a while." She nods. After breakfast she takes me back to the house to help pack my things.

"You're not being honest with Trevor," she says randomly. I nod.

"I think who I really am would scare him. At first I was pretending because of the bet, but now..." I remember last night. I've grown a little attached to him. What'll happen when he leaves? "He thinks he can tell me anything. He's comfortable around me this way. If I don't let him in, then he'll stay comfortable and I'll stay relatively unattached."

If she knows about The Bet, she doesn't let on. "Haley, can you live in a place where you have to pretend to be someone you're not?" I think about it and bow my head.

"No." I'll have to tell him, I guess. When the opportunity presents itself. If he leaves me now, what does it matter? I can still go back to how it was. But once we start living together, it'll hurt worse when he leaves.

Hurt. Missing someone. These are emotions I've hidden away for so long. To have them out in the open, to deal with them honestly, even if it isn't about the one who matters, is almost a relief. But I can't deal with the real problem yet. I just can't. Trina would be so upset.

***
I put my clothes away in the guest room. Trevor's mom says I can sleep in Trevor's room on the floor or in the guest room but I can keep my stuff in the guest room. Though Trevor wants otherwise, I think I'll sleep in the guest room. He'll have to see the real me today. It will scare him and he will be glad I am sleeping downstairs.

"Haley!" it's Trevor at my door. Good. I need to talk to him. "The crew is going for karaoke. Wanna come?" When was the last time I did that? I can still remember the day. It's been four years. I guess I'll tell him later.