The Hands Of Time Strip Youth From Our Bodies

"What's up?" Zack asked as if it was just any other day., just a run of the mill question, no problem what so ever. I almost felt bad for being about to disrupt his laid-back, peaceful mood.

"Well you see…" I stammered, fiddling with my hands again.

Zack gave me the, hurry-up-you–can-say-it look, causing his eyes to look ten times bigger and brighter than usual.

"We should sit down,"

Zacky's face adorned a confused expression. Never did I ever ask us to sit down to talk about something.

He led the way to my living room and we sat facing each other, him on the lazy boy and me on the sofa.

"So what's so important that we had to come in here and sit…"

I cut him off, "Zack I'm fucking pregnant." I didn't feel like easing into it, I just wanted to get it off my chest.

Zack let out a deep breath and starred at his socks. They were white ankle socks with black toes. He was thinking, he always removed himself from reality into, what I liked to call, Zacky Word. It was as if you were meditating to reach inside of yourself to hind the true meaning of life. Zack was looking into himself to find the true meaning of the words I just blurted.

"Your what?" he asked quietly, he had a calm tone, a soothing feeling to his words. The exact opposite to my boyfriend's reaction.

"I'm carrying a child," I whispered, watching and waiting for a response. Slowly his beautiful green eyes met with my blue ones.

"What are you going to do? Is it Johnny's child? When did you find out?" he was full of questions. His voice had a slight tremble in it from time to time.

"I found out about a week ago," I muttered, "as for whose child it is, I'm not sure. To tell you the truth," I breathed out, "I think it might be… yours."

Zack let out a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair. "that makes it little over a month old than…" he trailed off.

I nodded.

"So what are we going to do?"

My heart fluttered for a moment. Did he just say we? Was he willing to stick by me through this debacle and help me get through it safely? Was it a mistake to not take his help?

"I don’t know," I continued with my soft tone.

"Does… Johnny know?" a slight look of pain swept across his face for a millisecond, he disliked saying Johnny's name in relation to me. He still thinks that it was a mistake for us to break up, he said so once. I know that Zack has moved on. Two weeks ago, he went out with a pretty girl, she looked to be around his age. He came home to announce that it just wasn't going to work out. Than he took his seat on the couch to watch re-runs of America's Funniest Home Videos with my brother and I. I knew deep down in my heart that Zack wasn't ready. I kept telling myself that I was being self-absorbed and I should stop centering the world around me for once. Let someone else be the sun in my solar system.

I nodded again, "it didn’t go to well though."

I felt his warm touch of his hands wrap my own. It felt good to touch him again. I could not help but feel a slight tug at the corners of my lips.

****

I rubbed my ever-growing tummy as I rested my heavy head on my brother's shoulder. It was March now; I am now three months into my pregnancy. You can see my bump; it is still not too, too big. It just looks like I have gained a bunch of pounds, and hell I am.

"When is your show?" I questioned, rolling my head back to see the top of Jimmy's head.

He shrugged, "hell I don’t know, I'm just hanging here until some roadie comes barging in and yelling his head off. than you know when it's time to leave for your show.

I couldn’t help but chuckle at my brother's terminology.

"Ok, than Matt!" I called out to the tattooed man that was over near the bunks.

"what?" he called back, poking his head so he could get a good look at me.

"when's the show?"

"7:00pm sharp." He answered.

I poked my brother in the stomach, "see Matt knows stuff, why can’t you be reliable?" I half joked with him.

"Cause than I wouldn't be," he cleared his throat, "the Rev."

I rolled my eyes just as my cell started to vibrate in my pocket. I twisted and turned my body until I could get a could grasp on my phone.

"Hello?" I spoke into the mouthpart.

"Hey babe!" Leana's cheery voice answered back, "What's up?"

I laughed, "just sitting on the bus wasting my life away, you?"

"At the house with Val, just calling to say good luck tonight and to make sure that you haven't done anything naughty."

I raised an eyebrow, "what do you mean my naughty?"

I heard her laugh into the receiver, "no drugs, caffeine and/or alcohol missy."

"I got yeah babe," I felt Jimmy move from under me and get up., Making my fall backward onto the couch.

I hung up the phone and swung my legs over. I wanted to see where we were today. I always enjoyed the different towns and cities.

I pushed open the white door to be greeted by the dying sun. It was sinking pretty low now and the lights of the lot where flickering on. I spotted another band, one of which I did not know the name of, across the way. Figuring that I didn't feel like being very social right now I made my way to the heavy, metal back doors of the Center at which they were playing tonight.

It was stuffy and hot, I don’t see how anyone could be so active in a place like this. Pushing my way through I saw a familiar head. I grabbed onto Brian's arm and he swung around, lucky that he didn't hit my in the head by accident.

"What you doing here?" he asked as people weaved around us.

I shrugged, "just wanted to get away from the bus, what are you guys doing?"

"Sound check in a couple of minutes. Speaking of that, where's your psycho brother?"

I frowned, "He left the bus a couple of minutes before me, why, is he M.I.A?"

Brian didn't answer, he just stuck his head up and looked about. It reminded me of a periscope.

"Hey hun, why don't you go over there," he pointed to an open door, "I know that you have to relive Matt from the merch table because he has to help his brother with the tech and stuff. Also, aren’t you merch girl anyway?"

I blew out, making my side bangs flutter, "fine, fine."

I slight grin spread onto the lead guitarist's face, "Ok, you can come see us play when we start, promise."

I made my way through the open doors, seeing face after face of nameless people. Nights standing behind merch tables are always some of the longest nights.