One Sexy Mother ***er

“How long have you been awake?” Jenn asked me, glaring daggers.

“I just woke up as my phone rang.” I replied glaring right back at her. “Now I'm going to Dunn’s room to get my snake.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bam shudder, and laughed lightly going up the stairs.

When I walked into Dunn’s room, he had half his body lying over the edge of the bed, snoring away. I laughed again, and went over to the snake case, and withdrew Draco, who I hadn’t seen in over a day.

I walked back down the stairs, where I found Bam and Jenn screaming at each other, and decided that I was going to go down to the Pirate Bar and watch some TV. I was flipping through channels as Draco lay on my legs, which were put up on the random coffee table, only to stop when I saw that MTV was playing Jackass The Movie, so I decided to watch that.

``

I almost fell off of the couch as I gasped for breath I was laughing so hard. Tears leaked from the corner of my eye.

After a few minutes, I managed to calm myself down enough to notice that Bam was sitting next to me laughing lightly.

“Entertained?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Very much so, I really needed a good laugh.” I sighed, wiping the tears from my eyes. I scooted closer to him, not disturbing Draco, and placed my head on his shoulder, but still watched the movie.

“So what happened with Jenn? You were in a pretty intense screaming match when I walked through.” I asked as he put an arm around my shoulders, making my head fall to the crook of his neck.

“We worked things out. But, we can't fall asleep like that ever again….”

I nodded my head a bit saddened by the new information, but if it kept his relationship going, I could live with it.

I turned back to the movie, and saw April walking into their old house, only to find an Alligator in the kitchen. I giggled like no other as she screamed her lungs out.

“You look so young then…” I commented. “ I like you better with your beard.”

Draco started to slither up my leg, and Bam retracted his arm, and moved away from me.
I rolled my eyes with a laugh, and started stroking Draco’s head when he got to my lap.

When the movie was close to ending, they started a skit thing that made my eyes widen as I started at the TV screen.

“Holy fuck…” I breathed out as I watched Dunn shove a toy car up his ass.

“It was insane.” Bam laughed at the memory.

The movie ended after a bit, and I started flipping through the channels aimlessly while I gently stroked Draco’s body.

Bam sat as far away from me as he could, tapping his foot against the floor making an annoying tapping noise.

“Could you stop that?” I asked as I stared ahead at the screen.

He mumbled something, but stopped tapping anyway. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him rolling his head around on his neck.

“What's up with your neck?” I asked looking over at him.

“Nothing. I'm just sore from sleeping on the couch.” He explained as he reached up, rubbing the back of his neck roughly.

“Turn around.” I told him, asking him to turn so his back was to me. I set Draco on the couch cushion, before turning Bam myself. Once he was facing away from me, I gently put my hands at the base of his neck, and slowly worked my thumbs into his skin in a circular motion to get all of the knots out. I slowly moved down his shoulders, then down his back until there wasn’t a knot anywhere.

He let out a groan of pleasure as he stretched is now loose back out.

“How the fuck did you do that?” He asked as he turned his body, before it slumped against the couch.

“I’ve got magic hands.” Was all I said as I picked Draco back up, and went back to flipping through the channels on the TV.

When I glanced back at Bam, he was out cold, head lolled to the side and everything. I rolled my eyes at him even though he couldn’t see, and stopped the TV on a random cooking show about cupcakes.

Bam woke up almost an hour later, and I was still sitting there watching random cooking shows, getting some ideas. One of the things I like to do in my free time is cook and bake.
“You’ve got to do whatever you did to me more often cause that was one of the best naps I’ve ever taken.” He mumbled as he stretched again; back popping loudly as he did so.
I laughed lightly but agreed anyway.

“Anytime your back or something starts to hurt or feel stiff, just tell me and I can help you out.” I said shrugging my shoulders.

I then stood up, stretching myself, before going up the stairs to find something more entertaining to do. What I found was Dunn about to go down the stairs himself. I took one look at him, and broke into laughter. I stumbled a bit, and had to sit down on one of the stairs to keep from falling down.

“What the hell is up with you?” He asked giving me one of the strangest looks I’ve ever seen.

“Toy car….Up…Your ass…” I choked out, trying to catch my breath only to have another wave of laughter hit me.

“So I take it you just watched Jackass?” He asked dropping the weird look.

I nodded, and took a few deep breaths to calm myself down, and got up continuing my journey up the stairs as if nothing had just happened. I eventually found myself sitting on my bed. I fell backwards, only to decide I was going to take a nap. I looked down at my body, still dressed in only boy shorts and a tank top.

I shrugged, and climbed under the sheets, which were ice cold, and curled up falling asleep quickly.

`````

“Bam Bam! Wanna play a game of pool?” I asked later that day as I stood by the pool table, now with a pair of actual pants on, which were another pair of acid wash skinny jeans, only these were black and the acid stains were white.

He walked into the room, took a look at the table, smirked and agreed.

“How about we make this more interesting?” He asked as I leaned over the table setting the balls up.

“How so?”

“If I win, you have to be my slave for the next week, and have to do whatever I say.”
I nodded in agreement.

“And if I win…?” I asked turning and giving him a raised eyebrow expression.
“You can….have the Hummer I guess.”

“Like have as in it would be mine not yours anymore?”

He nodded smirking, “You up to it?”

“Fuck yeah.”

``

“How?” Bam asked shocked as I sank the last striped ball.

“Did I forget to mention that I used to play daily back in Cali?” I asked giving him an innocent expression.

“Yes, yes you did you damn pool shark.”

“Oh does that name bring back some fond memories.” I joked. “Now, I would like the keys to my car.”

H grumbled obscene words as he reached into his pocket, and withdrew the keys before tossing them at me. I caught them, and slipped them into my pocket.

“Looks like the slut finally put some clothes on. Good for the slut.” Jenn said as she walked through the room.

“Fuck off bitch.” Was all I said back.