My Way Home is Through You

As I stared at my reflection in the floor length mirror in front of me, I could hear a voice in the back of my head. No wonder no body likes you, with all that fat hanging everywhere I wouldn’t like you either. I raised my hands to my ears and tried to make the voice stop, but no matter how hard I tried, it wouldn’t go away. I wasn’t that fat was I?

Fatty! Fatty! Fatty! I tore my eyes away from the mirror and unzipped the dress I had on. I quickly changed back into my jeans and t-shirt and put the dress on the hanger. Who was I kidding; no one was going to ask me to prom this year. I’ve never once attended a school function, never mind with a date. Anyways prom was at the end of the school year, and I was only just starting my senior year tomorrow. Tears stung the back of my eyes as I hung the dress back up in my closet. With one last glance at the dress I angrily shut the closet door and stormed out of the bedroom.

Once I was in the hallway, I could smell my mothers cooking, and the smell of it made my mouth water but at the same time, made me feel nauseous. I walked down the stairs, the smell of the food getting stronger. I wiped under my eyes quickly to make sure my makeup hadn’t smeared. I plastered a smile on my face and entered the kitchen.

My mother was bent over the oven poking a roast with a thermometer. She heard me come in, turned around and flashed me a smile. My mom was absolutely beautiful; all my relatives said I looked exactly like her. I knew they were lying; I’m fat and well, my mother is practically a super-model. I walked over to her and leaned on the counter next to the oven, the heat coming from the oven burned my leg.

“Smells good”

“Thanks honey. Could you pass me the oven mitts? Supper’s done.” I could feel my stomach churning as she said this, but passed her the mitts nonetheless.

“Do you think I could skip supper tonight? I kind of have a huge English project I have to do for tomorrow.” I hope she wouldn’t see through my lie.

“Honey, you haven’t eaten anything all day… I think you should at least have some vegetables.”

“Mom, this English project is sort of a big deal, worth a lot of marks. And besides, I had an apple earlier. Really I’m not that hungry right now anyways. I promise I will eat later.” She smiled.

“Okay honey, go finish that project.” I smiled gratefully, gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and left the kitchen. I started walking up the stairs and as soon as I hit the top, the front door of the house opened and I heard my dad come in. I stopped and waited until he was in the kitchen with my mom then ran to my bedroom. I grabbed my sweater from my bed and put it on, also retrieved my car keys from my dresser. I hated having to lie to my mother, but it was the only way I could get out of eating.

I slipped out of my bedroom quietly, tip toed down the stairs and slipped on my shoes. I waited for a minute and I heard both my parents laughing in the kitchen. I took this as a chance to slip out of the house unnoticed. The sun was beginning to set, taking the days warmth away. I walked over to my silver Volvo and opened up the driver’s side door and slid into the seat. I sat in the silence and tried to figure out where I wanted to go.

After deciding on going to the park, I pushed my keys into the ignition and turned them. The car came to life and I shifted into reverse, backing out onto the Jersey roads. I knew going to the park at this time wasn’t the most brilliant thing to do, but I needed to get out of the house. I drove pass the houses on my street and noticed a group of five boys standing in a driveway. I couldn’t tell who they were but I knew they must have been around my age; a couple of them were smoking. I turned my attention back to the road and continued on my way to the park. Mom and Dad would be done supper in an hour and then they would come check in on me, so I had to be back before that.