My Way Home is Through You

I had kissed Gerard, Gerard had kissed back. I don’t know why I found that so unbelievable. I sat there after the kiss just trying to make everything function again; I think Gerard was trying to do the same. Soon after, my father called both, Gerard and I downstairs. He told Gerard that it was time for him to go home because we had to eat dinner. Gerard left and I went into the kitchen. My mother had prepared four places at the table and was flying around the kitchen trying to get everything ready.

“Why are they’re four places set at the table?” I asked my mom.

“Isn’t Gerard still here?” My mother stopped at the end of the counter and placed the pile of plates she had in her hand on the end.

I was just about to answer when my father walked into the room. “I sent him home.”

“You mean, Gerard was allowed to stay for dinner?” I asked in shock. Both my father and mother answered me at the same time, my mother saying yes and my father saying no.

“Paul Woods, you mean to tell me that you sent Gerard away.” She glared at my father.

“Yes I did, Theresa.” He said back. I couldn’t believe this, I finally get a friend and my parents are fighting because of him. I stood between my mother and my father both still arguing over Gerard staying for dinner.

“I can’t believe you!” I turned and yelled at my dad. This caused both my parents to stop and look at me. I didn’t realize but tears had finally started forming and were making their way down my cheeks. “I finally make a friend, and you try and cut him out of my life completely. You were the one trying to get me to meet new people and when I finally do.” I said finally giving up because I couldn’t even understand what I was saying anymore.

“He’s not good for you.” My father said with a sort of superior tone.

“Yes, because he only saved my life. But of course you don’t want to remember that do you.” I wiped at the tears that were still falling. “You don’t want to think that your perfect little suburban life isn’t so perfect!” I yelled again and looked over at my mom sympathetically; I turned on my heel and stormed out of the kitchen and up to my room.

I slammed my door and walked over to my bed and sat down onto it. I stared around my room and noticed that everything in it was too perfect. I got up and walked over to the shelves and one by one I started pulling off books and dropping them on the floor. Once every book was off the shelf I moved to my dresser and pulled a drawer open, everything in the drawer was folded perfectly and fit nicely. I began at the bottom and started pulling out clothes and unfolding everything. Once I was finished drawers stuck out and clothes were spilling out over the edges.

Sure it wasn’t really terrorizing my room but it did help blow off some steam. I grabbed the matches that were on top of my dresser and started lighting most of the candles around my room. I grabbed the first CD that was on top of my stereo and put it in. Jimmy Eat World began spilling through the speakers; I turned it down so that it played softly and walked back over to my bed.

I was still in my clothes from school but I was really in no mood to change into my sweats and tank top. I jumped onto the bed and began rolling around making sure to mess up every inch of it. Once I succeeded I finally gave in, the tears that I had been holding in were now pouring down my face more than before.

I couldn’t believe that my father thought that Gerard was a bad person. Gerard was the farthest thing from being bad. He was the one who helped me and brought me to the hospital. If it wasn’t for him, I don’t know what would have happened. Gerard was there through the weeks when rumours were being spoken about me, he was my rock that I could lean on, when I had no one else to turn too.

I know that my father wants to take care of me, but he saw how unhappy I was before I met Gerard. Now I am happy, I’ve been eating normally and I look a lot healthier. I’m even starting to gain more confidence. If my father stopped me from seeing Gerard I’m sure I would go back to the way things were.

I turned around and looked at the clock on my bedside table and saw that it was only eight o’clock. I had promised Gerard that I would be over at this time, so I got up from the bed and left my room. I looked down at the end of the hall and saw that my parent’s bedroom light was on and I could see the shadows of someone pacing on the other side. I could also hear their muffled voices.

I made my way down the stairs and slipped on a pair of shoes and left the house. It was raining outside but I didn’t care, I walked down the porch steps and down the walkway to the side walk. Gerard’s house was only a few down anyways. I could see someone sitting on his porch, I think they were smoking.

Once I approached I noticed that it was Mikey. He quickly fumbled with the pack of cigarettes in his hands and hid the lighter, also trying to put out the cigarette.

“It’s cool Mikey, no need to panic.” I said and sat down beside him

“Mackenzie, it’s good to see you.” He said and finally calmed down.

“Same with you, it’s like you disappeared off the face of the earth. I only see you what, once a week.” I said.

“Yeah, I’ve been busy.” He said not looking at me; he played with the lighter in his hands.

“Oh bull shit Mikey, that’s not the reason. Everyone has no problem being around me, what’s your excuse.” I looked at him apologetically. “I’m sorry that came out wrong.” I said and looked down at my feet.

“No, it’s alright. I can understand why you’re upset.” Mikey stopped playing with the lighter and put it back into his pocket along with the pack of cigarettes. “If I tell you can you please not tell Gerard that I smoke?” He asked. I nodded my head.

“Now don’t get mad at Gerard.” He waited for my response, but I didn’t understand. Why would I get mad at Gerard? I nodded my head and urged him to continue.

“Well the day after I met you, Gerard had asked me to stay away from you.” He said this really fast that I almost didn’t catch it. He stared at me while I tried to process his words.

“He did what?” I said while standing up my fists clenched at my sides. I could not take any more news of people being denied friends.

“Mackenzie, be quiet! You told me you wouldn’t get mad!” Mikey pulled at my hand and I slowly sat down.

“But why would he do that?” I asked.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Mikey said while staring into my eyes. I looked at him confused. “He’s liked you ever since that day he saw you leaving your house. He has never stopped talking about you, how completely amazing you are, how beautiful you are.” Mikey stopped talking and looked away from my eyes.

“But I’m not beautiful.” I said more to myself than to Mikey.

“How can you say that?” Mikey said. “You obviously do not own a mirror.” He laughed nervously.

I completely ignored Mikey’s last statement. Then I started to think about everything that has happened, the day I met Gerard, those days when I was in the hospital. It seemed that whenever Gerard was around I did feel beautiful. Another thing that struck my mind was the voice, whenever Gerard was around, only Gerard, the voice would never be there. The voice only came around when I felt alone or when other people were around. It all made sense to me finally.

“Mikey, is Gerard inside?” I asked while standing up.

“Uh, yeah he’s in the basement.” Mikey said, and pointed towards the door.

“Thanks.” I went inside and kicked off my shoes, practically running to the stairs. I needed to talk to Gerard. I needed to tell him everything