My Way Home is Through You

I woke up the next day with the sun brightly shining in my eyes, all the memories of last night rushed back to me and I turned around to see my mom curled up in a ball sleeping. I couldn’t believe what my father had just done. Did she even get a word in last night? Or did my dad just spit out those few words and leave? All I know is that I wanted to hurt him, hurt him as bad as he had hurt mom.

I got up from the bed quietly and walked out of the room making sure to close the door behind me so that I wouldn’t disturb my mom. She needed the rest; she was up for most of the night upset. I walked down the hall and entered the bathroom. My reflection stared back at me in the mirror, I needed a shower badly. I turned the water on and quickly stripped from my clothes, the hot water rushed over my body and I drew a breath in. After about ten minutes I quickly finished up in the shower and got out.

I wrapped a towel around myself and gathered my dirty clothes and threw them in the hamper. I opened the door to the hallway and a cool rush of air swirled around my body, I tensed for a minute but soon relaxed. As I walked over to my bedroom I decided that I was going to get changed and then I was going to go call Gerard and see if he wanted to come over.

I changed quickly, just throwing on a tank top some sweats and a sweater I wasn’t planning on going anywhere considering that when I looked out the window it was snowing pretty hard. Plus I didn’t want to leave my mom alone in the house. I left my room ready to go downstairs to use the phone but I decided that I should check up on my mom first. I turned around and walked down the hall and opened the door to her bedroom, from what I could tell she was still sleeping. Even if she wasn’t sleeping, I was going to just let her be alone for a while.

I closed the door again and finally went downstairs. I saw my jacket lying on the ground and I walked over to it to pick it up but something fell from the pocket pulling my attention to it. I hung the jacket up then bent down to pick up the item that fell. My heart rate increased as I ran my fingers along the long velvet box, I don’t know how it got in my pocket. Then I remembered that before I left Gerard’s I had kissed him before I ran out, he could of slipped it in my pocket then.

My fingers were shaking as I slowly pulled open the box revealing a folded piece of paper; I lifted the paper and read the words that were scribbled across.

Mackenzie,

I know that Christmas is still a week away, but with the way things are going I wanted to give this to you now. It’s not much but it used to be my grandma’s and she told me when she gave it to me I should give it to someone special. There’s no one else I would want to give this to. I love you, Mackenzie.

Gerard.

I looked down at the silver bracelet in the box; little charms were connected to the bracelet. I took the bracelet out of the case as I walked over to the couch; I held it with care as I looked at each individual charm. I couldn’t believe that Gerard would give me something that was so sentimental; his grandmother’s bracelet was absolutely stunning I felt as if I couldn’t accept it. I’ve only known Gerard for a short period of time and although we’ve been through so much already, it just felt wrong to accept it.

I placed the bracelet back into the case and closed it. I got up from the couch and went upstairs, I could hear my mom crying in her room and I wasn’t sure if I should go in. I tapped on the door gently and slowly opened it. My mom wiped at her nose with a tissue.

“Oh, I’m sorry honey.” My mom tossed the tissue she had into the waste basket beside her bed and placed the box back on the side.

“Don’t apologize for crying mom.” I said as I walked over to the bed and sat down. My hand dug into my sweater pocket and I ran my finger along the velvet box. “I just wanted to come tell you that I’m going to go see Gerard for a bit. I’ll be back by supper time.” She nodded. I got up from the bed and started towards the door.

“Mackenzie?” My mom said, I turned around my hand still resting on the door handle.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“Thank you.” She said. I smiled at her and slowly left the room. I wasn’t used to my mom being like this, she’s always been strong. I guess she wanted to show me that no matter what happens, people can get through it. But to see her weakness now was so heartbreaking.

I made my way downstairs and slipped on my shoes and coat. I pulled the front door open and was greeted by harsh wind and snow; I stepped outside quickly and shut the door. I hugged my jacket closer to me; I walked faster than my normal pace, I wanted to get out of the harsh weather.

Finally in front of Gerard’s house I ran to the front door and knocked on it. I waited a few minutes and the door was pulled open by a red-faced Gerard. A look of worry spread over his face and he pulled me inside, I guess without realizing it I had started crying on my way over her.

“Are you alright? Is everything okay?’ Gerard asked as he pulled me close to him. “You’re absolutely freezing.” He said.

“Gerard, I’m fine.” I said as I tried to pull out of the hug. “You know for a guy you worry too much.” I said, a small smile graced his lips.

“Wait, how’s your mom?” Gerard asked, suddenly getting serious again. “Here let’s go into the living room.” He grabbed my hand a guided me to the back of the house where the living room was located. We both sat down on the couch.

“Well except for the fact that my father told her that he was cheating and was leaving, she’s doing alright.” I said, and shrugged my shoulders.

“Oh.” He said and stared down at his hands. He was just about to say something but I cut him off.

“Please don’t say you’re sorry, it’s not your fault he’s an ass hole.” I said to him. He nodded his head. I reached into my pocket again, this time pulling out the velvet box. “About this…” I said as I opened the box, the lump in my throat growing.

“Why aren’t you wearing it?” He asked, a hurt expression spread across his face.

“Because I don’t know if I can accept it.” I said to him.

Gerard reached over, gently grabbed the box from my hands and took the charm bracelet out. He reached for my wrist and put the bracelet on me. He looked up from the bracelet and into my eyes. “Of course you can accept it, and you know it.” He said to me. I smiled and closed the small distance between us, his warm lips pressed against my trembling ones, I couldn’t believe how amazing he was.