My Way Home is Through You

It was Monday, the day I had been dreading as the weekend slowly crawled by. I spent a lot of time alone in my room, trying to process what had happened over the past few days. Why did Gerard want to know if I forgave him or not, he seemed quite content with his perfect Tanya? Did Jason really have feelings for me, a lowly high school girl, with a lot of baggage? And what was I going to do about Benji.

These questions seemed to race around my mind as I drove in silence. I could see the high school in the distance. The sun shining brilliantly in the sky, it had been too long since I last seen its glow. I finally let myself smile, and forget about my problems until I pulled up to my parking spot.

I put the car in park and got out. Benji was talking with Gerard near the tree, I’m sure they had noticed me because they began speaking in harsh whispers. Instead of going to see what they were arguing about, I turned around and headed for the doors of the school. I was not going to let this ruin my sunny day.

“Mac, wait up!” Benji’s voice called out. I turned around and squinted from the sun’s glare.

“Hey Benji,” I said. We both continued to walk towards the school.

“How are you?” he asked as he held the door opened for me. I wanted to tell him to go away, and let me enjoy the sun. But I couldn’t do that to him. As much as I didn’t want to have them right now, I cared for Benji more than a friend.

“I’m fine,” I said and walked through the door. “How are you?”

“Well I was great, but I haven’t had the best morning so far,” he noticed me struggling with my bag and offered to carry it. I refused and quickly fixed the strap.

“So I was wondering about the other day,” he said nervously and scratched the back of his neck. He glanced up at me and then looked at the floor, once we stopped in front of my locker.

“What about it?” I asked. Did he have to bring that up? My mood from minutes ago was already shattered. I wanted to run back outside and drive away, but I’m pretty sure my mother would not be happy about that.

“You know,” he said and leaned against the other lockers, “the kiss.”

I shuttered at the word. I guess there was no denying that I kissed him back. I looked up at him. He was standing straight now, waiting for an answer. “Oh.”

“Oh?” he said, a look of pain appeared on his usually calm features. “Oh, as in ‘oh yeah, I remember!’ or oh, as in ‘oh that.’”

“Um, the first one,” I said sheepishly. I shoved my bag in my locker and I saw something fall. I bent down to pick it up. It was the letter that Benji found in the scrapbook. I quickly folded up and shoved it in my pocket. “Look Benji, can we talk about this later, I really have to get to class.”

“Yeah, sure,” he said. He turned around and started to walk away.

“Benji, wait!” I said. He turned around and I ran to him. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him. This kiss felt different from the one we shared in the rain. This time, I wanted to kiss him. There was no hesitation or worry about the other person’s feelings. I pulled away as Benji stood dumbfounded. “I’ll see you after class.” I turned around before he could say anything and hurried towards the art room.

Once inside the class, I sat down next to Ollie. I placed my stuff on the table and glanced around the class, I noticed Gerard hadn’t entered yet and then I remembered the letter.

“What’s with you today?” Ollie asked and poked my ribs.

“Huh?” I asked and turned my attention to her.

“One minute you’re all smiles, then you sit down and the smile is gone.

“Just thinking about stuff,” I said and looked away from her. I knew she would take the hint that I wanted her to drop the subject.

“Right, so anyways I have some upsetting news,” Ollie said, she didn’t sound that upset. “So you know how we had plans this weekend, well I sort of maybe have to cancel them.”

“Sort of maybe?” I questioned.

“Yeah, well Bob and his family are going out of town and well he asked me if I would go. I couldn’t just say no, Mac. I’m sorry!” she hollered and wrapped her arms around.

I let out a small laugh, “Ollie it’s alright, something came up anyways,” I said, Benji popped into my head. I could already see him smiling when I told him we would have the whole weekend to ourselves.

“Are you sure?” she asked, looking at me confused. As if she were waiting for me to explode and get really mad.

“Yes, I’m sure,” I smiled and starting sketching.

“Your acting weird today,” she said and turned her attention back to her drawing.

I smiled, she had no idea. When I noticed that she wasn’t paying attention anymore, I pulled the letter from my pocket. It was creased in many places and had what looked like a coffee stain on the corner. I tore the envelope open and inside was a picture of Gerard and me. It was the night of Frank’s birthday. Gerard had decided to give me a piggy back ride. In the picture I was on Gerard’s back laughing so hard, it looked like I was ready to cry, Gerard was also smiling, the way he looked at me made me shiver.

I turned the picture over to see Gerard’s scrawl on the back. You were always beautiful to me, you will always be beautiful. I love you, Mackenzie. Come back to me.

--

Finally, the end of the school day I couldn’t wait to get home and just relax, seeing as I have finished all of my school work. I walked silently towards my locker to drop off my books.

Quickly, I opened my locker and threw my stuff in and proceeded to grab my sweater. I put it on and shut the door, I turned in the direction of the exit, but stopped when I saw Benji walking my way.

“Hey,” I said as he approached.

“Hey,” he quickly looked both ways and kissed my cheek. I blushed and looked down at the floor. “You’re pretty cute when you blush.”

I blushed even harder. Now that it was finally official between me and Benji, I felt somewhat relieved. But after reading what was on the back of the picture, it caused another stir of emotions. Emotions that I thought were put to rest.

“So, what are you doing tonight?” I asked Benji, once my face cooled and returned to normal colour again.

“Nothing at the moment,” he smiled. I assumed he already thought about asking me to do something.

“Well my mom’s gone to one of her book club meetings tonight, would you like to come over?” I asked.

He grinned and reached for my hand, “I would love too.”

We walked out of the school hand in hand, down the cement stairs and headed straight for the parking lot. I could see my car at the end of the parking lot, “I bet you I can beat you to my car!” I said and took off running before he even got a chance to reply.

“Mackenzie!” Benji shouted. I glanced over my shoulder to see him chase after me. I was glad that the sun was still it, it warmed my skin and made me feel happy.

I made it the car the same time as Benji did, he wrapped his arms around me and we were both laughing. Benji leaned down and kissed me, I could feel his hands on my face, his thumb caressing my cheek. I smiled into the kiss. I didn’t believe that I would ever feel this way again.

“Come on, let’s go,” I said and kissed him again before getting into the car. Benji went around and got into the passenger seat.

It took all of 15 minutes to get back to my place. I parked the car and got out. Benji walked around the car and grabbed my hand. We started towards the house and entered it after I unlocked the door.

“Go pick out a movie, and I’ll be right back,” I said. He went into the living room, while I went upstairs. Quickly, I went to my room and changed out of my school clothes to something more casual. I changed into looser jeans and threw on a sweater, also I tied my hair up into a messy bun and put a head band on.

“So what movie did you pick?” as I walked down the stairs.

“Not telling, it’s a secret,” Benji said, I could already here the previews playing.

I started towards the kitchen. I decided that no movie is good without popcorn an juice. Just as I was about to enter the room, a knock on the door stopped me. I turned around and hurried towards the door as the knocks turned impatient.

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” I said as I opened the door. “Gerard?”

“Where is he?” a look of furry clouded his face.

“Where’s who?” I asked confused.

“You know perfectly well who I’m talking about,” he pushed passed me and entered the house.

“Gerard, what the hell?” I hollered and followed him into the living room.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Gerard said. He and Benji were standing face to face.

It all happened before I could even stop it. Gerard raised his fist and swung it towards Benji, hitting him directly in the eye. Benji fell to the ground holding the left side of his face and moaning in pain.

“Benji!” I yelled and pushed passed Gerard and kneeled beside him. I cradled him in my arms. I looked up from Benji to Gerard.

“Gerard, get out of my house,” I said barely above a whisper, venom dripped from every word.

“Mac, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-“

“Get out,” I said again.

Gerard stood there for a second, but turned and walked out of the house. I looked down at Benji and tears started to build behind my eyes.

“Benji, I’m so sorry,” I said and kissed his forehead. He reached up and caressed the side of my face.

“It’s not your fault,” he said and smiled softly. He sat up and leaned against the couch.

“I’ll be right back with ice,” I got up from the floor and hurried to get ice for his eye. I rushed back and handed the baggie to him. “It’ll stop the swelling,” I said.

“Thanks,” he said and held it against his eye. “I picked the Breakfast Club by the way.”