My Way Home is Through You

Being with Benji wasn’t any easier than being with a fanged tooth, brain-sucking monster. Everyone glared at us as we walked down the hall. I couldn’t stand to even look in Gerard’s direction. Ollie spent less time with me and more time with Bob. I couldn’t stand it anymore. Something had to end. The constant pulling at my heart strings was more than I could bear.

“Hey, are you alright?” Benji asked while we sat on a picnic table during our lunch period. He knew what was wrong, but I wanted to save him the pain of listening to my sad reasons on my lack of conversation.

“It’s nothing,” I said and smiled. I grabbed the apple that was beside me and nibbled at the skin. I hadn’t been eating much anymore.

“Mac, the bell rang it’s time to go in,” Benji waved his hand in front of my face. I snapped out of my thoughts and got up from the table. I carried my half eaten lunch to the trash can and threw it out. Benji reached down and laced his fingers with mine before we entered the school. Like usual, I walked down the hall staring at my feet. I couldn’t take the risk of catching a pair of familiar eyes. “So, I’ll be at your house at seven, right?”

“Seven?” I asked confused and looked up into his eyes.

“What’s with you today?” he asked as we stopped at my locker. “The prom, you are still going with me, right?”

“Of course,” I said and brushed off the awkwardness with a laugh. “Sort of slipped my mind, I’ve just been thinking about stuff.”

“What stuff?” he asked as he retrieved his books from my locker.

“Just about exams, and leaving home this fall,” I smiled and shut the locker.

“Everything’s going to be fine Mac. I’m sure you passed all your exams, and you know I’m only going to be two hours away,” he smiled and grabbed my free hand.

“I know,” I said. I kissed his cheek and went into the classroom before he could say anything else. Art class was my time to just sit and think about everything, I usually left it feeling no more relieved as when I had first walked into it. I couldn’t wait for the school year to officially be over.

“Hey Big Ma-um Mackenzie,” Ollie greeted me as I sat down in my usual seat. I stared at her with confusion. She never started the conversation anymore. Usually I was the one to ask her a question I would mainly get one word answers.

“Hey,” I said, I tried not to sound to eager that she was talking to me. “What’s up?”

“Nothing much,” she answered awkwardly. “I was wondering, wondering if we would still be getting ready at your house, I mean I sort of need to know now, Bob needs to know where to pick me up.”

“You still want to get ready at my house?” I questioned her.

“Of course,” she smiled half-heartedly. “I made a promise didn’t I? Plus, someone needs to do your makeup. I’ve noticed that you haven’t been wearing much lately.”

“Ollie!” I smiled and wrapped my arms around her, she did the same. “I missed you so much!”

“Let’s not let stupid drama get in the way anymore,” she declared. We both pulled away and composed ourselves. Instantly, we both burst into laughter.

-*-

“Ollie, I don’t think I can move my face,” I said as she applied another coat of mascara.

“Mac, stop complaining. You look amazing,” she smiled as she pulled away to get a better look. She faced me away from the mirror so I couldn’t see what I looked like. All I know is she spent at least an hour on me, I knew that couldn’t be good. “Are you ready to see yourself?”

“Yes!” I exclaimed as she finally closed the mascara and put all of her make-up away. Of course, Ollie did her make-up and hair first. I stood up from the chair I was sitting in. “Are you going to move or do I have to move you?” I laughed. She shook her head no and pointed to my floor length mirror. I sighed and walked over my closet.

I couldn’t believe that it was me standing in front of the mirror. My hair was curled in large soft ringlets. My make-up was simple but done with perfection, and my prom dress was a deep purple made of a silk material that flowed and curved in all the right places.

“I told you,” she laughed as she appeared at my side. Ollie’s peroxide blonde hair was pin straight and fell down past her shoulders. Her make-up was done much the same as mine, and her dress was an electric knee-length blue dress.

“You don’t look to bad yourself,” I laughed and hugged her. “Thank you so much Ollie.”

“You’re welcome,” she laughed and handed me my black clutch bag and shawl. “Now we have to get downstairs the guys will be here soon.

“Guys?” a feeling of panic overcame me.

Ollie rolled her eyes as she pushed me out the door, manoeuvring me towards the stairs. “As in Bob and Benji,” she stopped pushing as I began to propel myself forward on my own.

“Right,” I smiled and walked down the stairs.

“Oh sweetie, you look so beautiful!” my mother hugged me as I walked into the living room. Ollie was treated the same way as she entered. Ollie’s parent’s had come over.

It wouldn’t have been so awkward, if Jason hadn’t shown up. But seeing as he was done at NYU for the year, he wanted to see his little sister off to her prom. I hadn’t talked to him since that time I dropped him off. The first time I had kissed Benji.

I knew things were different between Benji and I since that day. It had felt like I wanted to be with him so badly and now that I was, it didn’t feel right. Not with how things turned out. I knew what I was going to do tonight was going to hurt a lot of people. But I just couldn’t put it off any longer. I had to do what was right for me, and not what was right for somebody else. I realize now that I have to look out for my happiness first, before I decide to try and make someone else happy.

“You look pretty,” a voice whispered into my ear. It was Jason. I hadn’t realized that he got up from the chair he had been sitting in.

“Thank you,” I smiled and turned around. His black hair was still messy. He wore a black band tee and khaki shorts. He looked beyond perfect in all his casual glory.

“So, you didn’t call me,” he stated simply.

“Yeah, sorry about that, something just sort of came up,” I smiled lightly and looked back at Ollie, who was talking to my mother.

“Like you getting a boyfriend,” he smirked. “Ollie didn’t have anyone to complain to, so she talked to me a whole lot. I don’t know how you put up with it.”

I could feel myself blush. “Sorry about that.’

“Ah, it’s no big deal. I got some inside information anyways,” he smiled again and pulled something out from behind his back. “Like how black is your favourite colour. Let me let you in on a little secret, black isn’t really a colour.”

“I know tha-“I stopped mid-sentence when he opened up the box he had in his hands. Inside was a simple but beautiful necklace, a silver chain with a small black heart pendant. “Why did you get me this?” I looked at him puzzled.

“I told you I didn’t want whatever we had to end. I simply thought this would be a nice gesture,” he gestured for me to turn around. I heard the box close and felt Jason place the necklace around my neck.

As soon as Jason did the clasp up, I turned around to face him. In the background Benji walked through the doorway.