My Way Home is Through You

The doctor came in today to check up on me, he said that everything was well and soon exited the room. Soon after Lilith entered the room; carrying yet another plate full of food. We sat near the window and began talking as I slowly ate my lunch. I didn’t quite eat as much as I did yesterday, but that’s probably because I was concentrated more on my food.

“Who brought those?” Lilith asked me as she pointed her finger towards the pile of books and movies. I instantly smiled and looked over at them, reaching out and grabbing one. I studied the cover; it was some old scary movie.

“My friend,” I said still staring at the cover and smiling to myself.

“Does this friend happen to be a boy?” She asked as she straightened some magazines on the side table. “You know, Nancy has been telling me about a boy that keeps coming every night and he stays right until visiting hours are done.”

“Lil, it’s not like that, he’s just a friend.” I blushed about ten different shades of red as I said this to her.

“I’m sure, but I best be getting back to the nurses station, see what unforgiving job they can give me next.” She got up from the chair and grabbed the tray that sat on the table. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” Even Lilith thinks it’s ridiculous that you like the boy, there’s really no chance that he will like you back. I shut my eyes and pressed my hands against my ears. If I were you, I would just forget him.

I grabbed some work from the table and made my way back to the bed; maybe some homework would help me forget the voice. I propped some pillows behind me and settled into the bed. I opened my math text book to the appropriate page and also opened my notebook. It took me about forty minutes to get through the questions which I thought was pretty impressive, math was never my strong suit.

I set my homework to the side and then puffed my cheeks full of air. I looked around the room, not really finding anything to amuse myself with until I set my eyes upon the small pile of movies. I got up from the bed and walked over to the chairs and grabbed the first one on the top and popped it into the VCR. Black and white images came onto the screen. I settled into the bed and started to watch the movie.

I soon found myself drifting to sleep when I heard people walking and getting closer to the door. I could now hear the voices and I noticed that it was the voices of my parents. My eyes brightened as they walked into the room, but soon they lost their glow when I saw the look on their faces.

They entered the room and walked over to my bed, my mother sitting gracefully on the side of my bed and my dad pulling a chair up next to her. I sat up from my lying position and wrapped my arms around my legs.

“We have some news for you.” My father addressed me; he has never been this formal with me. The tone added to his voice also worried me.

“Your father and I have set up something for you that we both think will greatly benefit you.” Again, my mother rarely spoke to me like this. It was starting to hurt me, hearing the tone in their voices they sounded so disappointing.

“What did you set up?” I asked in a meek voice.

“Your father and I thought that with this situation. We would get a counsellor for you. It seems that you can’t come to us about your problems and this is the only way we can help you.” When my mother said this it felt as if the world was being pushed onto my shoulders. How could they do this to me? I wanted to scream to yell, anything.

I decided not to respond and I just stared out the window. I played with a wrinkle in the blanket that was covering my legs as my parents stared at me.

“We thought that it would be best for you Mackenzie, this isn’t a little problem we can sweep under the carpet. We have to deal with it now, before it gets way too out of control.” By this point tears were building behind me eyes and I tried to wipe them away before they fell.

“Oh sweetie, were not doing this too hurt you, we want you to get better.” My mother reached out to hug me but I jerked back. I really didn’t want them to be here right now.

“Could you please leave?” I asked as my mother started to tear up. My mother was now standing beside my father, as he started to wrap his arm around her. My dad was just about to say something when I cut him off. “I really don’t want you in here right now.” I said once again.

My dad turned around and grabbed his coat as my mother did the same. They both left the room silently. I pulled the blanket over my head and tried to forget everything that was just said to me. I was already getting better, I was eating I don’t need a stupid counsellor.

Tears began to cascade down my cheeks as I laid there in the bed. I didn’t even get up when I heard the door to my room open. I was not in the mood to see anyone.

“Mackenzie? Is everything okay?” It was Gerard’s voice. I pulled the blankets down to reveal my red puffy eyes. He rushed over to my side dropping the things he had in his arms.

“Is there something wrong?” I shook my head no, as the tears kept falling. “What is it, please tell me.” He asked. I looked up to his eyes, he looked so worried.

I patted the bed beside me as he sat down he wrapped his arms around me. I swear I could hear him say “Please be okay” over and over.

“Gerard, I’m okay.” I said and he pulled away.

“Then why are you crying?” He asked curiously.

“I’m fine; it’s just that my parents told me some news.” I said as I wiped at my eyes.

“What did your parents say?” He was so full of questions; it was as if he cared about me.

“They told me that I need to meet with a counsellor from now on.” I said to him, and some more tears escaped. “They said it to me as if they thought I was a crazy person. Like I wasn’t theirs I was some foreign child that they could pawn off.” Gerard pulled me closer to him. He began to run his hands through my hair.

“Everything will be okay Mackenzie, I promise you that. I’ll be here for you.” Gerard then placed a kiss on the top of my head.

We both stayed in the bed until visiting hours were up. We didn’t say much a few questions and answers were exchanged but that was about it. I just needed someone there to hold me, and that’s what Gerard did. It was as if he knew exactly what to do.

I never once felt uncomfortable around him. I would drift in and out of sleep, while he talked. At one point I thought he was singing?