Almost Lover
2
12/9/09
It's been exactly 5 hours since I got your first letter. I have no idea what you want me to say. I'm sorry? I'm an unimaginable bastard? I know what I did to you was wrong, but nothing I say or do will change it. Any of it. You will hate me for the rest of my life, I know this. I'm okay with that. Why? Because it means that you wont allow me to ever hurt you again. Because that's what I do, hurt.
I did love you. I do love you. You are/were the first person I ever fell in love with.
I don't want to justify what I did because there is no justifying for it. Maybe I did it because I was scared of you hurting me or that you would turn out to be just like every other girl. Maybe I did it because I thought I wouldn't get caught. I thought I was good enough to completely hide it from you. When I met you, it was by complete accident. I staid with you on purpose. That means that I did care about you, even if you refuse to see that.
I won't make this long, I know you have better things to do than to read your ex's shitty attempt at a letter.
Those images will never leave my mind either. And your right, I do deserve to be hurt the way I hurt you. Leaving you, doing EVERYTHING I did to you was the biggest mistake I've ever made. I want to hear your voice again. I want to make love to you again. I want you in my arms again. I wish I had opened up more, dropped my walls, and made that special opening just for you. Truth is, I had no idea how. Now that we've been apart for so long, I'm learning.
I hope that means something to you.
It's been exactly 5 hours since I got your first letter. I have no idea what you want me to say. I'm sorry? I'm an unimaginable bastard? I know what I did to you was wrong, but nothing I say or do will change it. Any of it. You will hate me for the rest of my life, I know this. I'm okay with that. Why? Because it means that you wont allow me to ever hurt you again. Because that's what I do, hurt.
I did love you. I do love you. You are/were the first person I ever fell in love with.
I don't want to justify what I did because there is no justifying for it. Maybe I did it because I was scared of you hurting me or that you would turn out to be just like every other girl. Maybe I did it because I thought I wouldn't get caught. I thought I was good enough to completely hide it from you. When I met you, it was by complete accident. I staid with you on purpose. That means that I did care about you, even if you refuse to see that.
I won't make this long, I know you have better things to do than to read your ex's shitty attempt at a letter.
Those images will never leave my mind either. And your right, I do deserve to be hurt the way I hurt you. Leaving you, doing EVERYTHING I did to you was the biggest mistake I've ever made. I want to hear your voice again. I want to make love to you again. I want you in my arms again. I wish I had opened up more, dropped my walls, and made that special opening just for you. Truth is, I had no idea how. Now that we've been apart for so long, I'm learning.
I hope that means something to you.