Almost Lover
4
1/1/10
I don't think I'll be sending this letter to you, at least not right away.
It hurts to think about you moving on. But I know it's something we both have to do. You will find the perfect person who will make you laugh and smile and feel wanted. Maybe I'll find someone like that, too. I want to. I want you to be happy though, and I want the person to make you happy again be me. Maybe one of these days I'll make a trip back up north to see you. We can go to the river. You'll smile at the tiny fishes swimming in the clear water. I'll want to kiss you, but I'll try not to.
I keep thinking about your lips. How they felt. The little beauty mark on your lower lip that you hate. I miss how perfect our lips went together. I kick myself int he ass all the time. I want to make things better again. I don't know if you'll ever take me back or truly forgive me for what I did. Honestly, you were perfect. You were/are everything I've ever wanted. I was scared that if you decided that I wasn't worth it, you would just leave. I didn't want to get attached and then end up with a broken heart. Instead, you just ended up getting your heart broken.
I want to move on. I truly do. But every girl here looks like you. They all sound like you, smell like you. I can't escape you. No matter where I do, somehow you're always there. I want to find another girl, fall in love with her and be happy. You haunt me.
Maybe it's better if you just find someone else. Maybe it's better if I don't go back up north to see you, ever. No matter how much I want to see you again. I don't want to mess anything up for you. I have to keep myself away to make you happy. That's the least I can do.
I'll send this letter to you. Maybe when you read this, you wont feel so numb about me.
I don't think I'll be sending this letter to you, at least not right away.
It hurts to think about you moving on. But I know it's something we both have to do. You will find the perfect person who will make you laugh and smile and feel wanted. Maybe I'll find someone like that, too. I want to. I want you to be happy though, and I want the person to make you happy again be me. Maybe one of these days I'll make a trip back up north to see you. We can go to the river. You'll smile at the tiny fishes swimming in the clear water. I'll want to kiss you, but I'll try not to.
I keep thinking about your lips. How they felt. The little beauty mark on your lower lip that you hate. I miss how perfect our lips went together. I kick myself int he ass all the time. I want to make things better again. I don't know if you'll ever take me back or truly forgive me for what I did. Honestly, you were perfect. You were/are everything I've ever wanted. I was scared that if you decided that I wasn't worth it, you would just leave. I didn't want to get attached and then end up with a broken heart. Instead, you just ended up getting your heart broken.
I want to move on. I truly do. But every girl here looks like you. They all sound like you, smell like you. I can't escape you. No matter where I do, somehow you're always there. I want to find another girl, fall in love with her and be happy. You haunt me.
Maybe it's better if you just find someone else. Maybe it's better if I don't go back up north to see you, ever. No matter how much I want to see you again. I don't want to mess anything up for you. I have to keep myself away to make you happy. That's the least I can do.
I'll send this letter to you. Maybe when you read this, you wont feel so numb about me.
♠ ♠ ♠
Most likely the next chapter, which is from the girl, will be the last chapter I plan on writing for this. I think it'll be exactly the right place to leave off at if I ever want to write more for this.