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Anyone

I could have been anyone: a daughter, a father, a son, a mother. I could have been that stranger that you passed on the street earlier, or the kid strolling around at the mall with a group of friends, or the one at your school that you think is weird. I could have been your aunt or your uncle or your cousin.

I could have been someone, anyone, but instead I am me.

** Author's Note:

Just so everyone understands this is for me. Solely for me. And no one else.

Don't like it, don't read it.

The point of this entire thing is to allow me to vent to someone, to anyone, to myself - it doesn't matter. It's just for me to vent. Get it?

And there's a strange relief in knowing that, whether you hate me or sympathize or empathize or what have you, someone else knows my secrets. And none of you know me so if you judge me I could care less.

Now, having said that, that doesn't mean it's for any of you. Like I said before it's strictly for me. It's a record of myself. I might end it on the day I started it - a whole year in my life - or maybe I'll keep going. I don't know. Maybe I might never stop. Just keep it going - for as long as I can. Whatever.

But that's all it is: a record of my life so I won't forget anything.

Now, for one final thing. A brief summary of all I've written here.

This "story" - my story - it's to keep me sane. It's to keep me from doing something I'll end up regretting. It's for all those unsaid words and not-thrown punches. It's for all the drinks I've had and the drugs I've taken and the blood I've drawn. It's for all the rage and passion and love and hurt and sadness in me. It's for me.

That's all it is.

P.S. To all of you who feel the same way as I do, who don't want to vent to "friends" or "family" there's a site. It's saved my life a couple times now. Maybe you've heard of it, maybe you haven't. It's called the Compassion Pit.

It's just random people who will listen to you, not judge you, and help you if they can. You can be a listener and try to help someone too if you like, or just vent to someone if you prefer. Whatever.

Anyways, that's all I have to say. I'm always on mibba or tumblr (this is my tumblr carpetheshitoutofthisfuckingdiem) so if you want to talk that's cool. I don't bite or anything.

Well, that's it, I guess.
  1. Undecided.
  2. Dizzy.
  3. Failure.
  4. Mom.
  5. Guilty Pleasures and Masochistic Tendencies.
  6. Decorations in the Attic.
  7. Jar of Hearts.
  8. The Hurt Locker.
  9. Court.
  10. OD.
  11. These Words Are Coming, I Feel Terrible.
  12. Toy.
  13. Idea.
  14. Re-Evaluation.
  15. Bloody Knuckles.
  16. Glass Splinters.
  17. The Split, Part I.
    Introduction.
  18. The Split, Part II.
    Preface.
  19. The Split, Part III.
  20. Those Goddamn Eyes.
  21. Monsters.
  22. Home.
  23. Childhoods and Burnouts.
  24. This Life Is Anything But Certain.
  25. Conundrum.
  26. Hospital.
  27. Nightmares.
  28. Hospital, Part II.
  29. Vision.
  30. Guilt.
  31. Suicidal.
  32. I'm Sorry, Okay?
  33. Something Simple.
  34. Wish.
  35. Infinite.
    Infinite
  36. Dad.
  37. Plague.
  38. I Don't Know.
  39. It Wasn't Much But It Was Enough.
  40. Messages.
  41. Rambling.
  42. I Am Breaking.
  43. Dear Me,
    Excessive swearing.
  44. Someone and Someone and Someone Else.
  45. Suicidal Tendencies.
    Sounds like the name of a shit band.
  46. Embry.
  47. "Chops"
  48. Man-Up, Bro.
  49. A Poem.
  50. ***.
  51. It's Funny Really.
  52. I Hate Her.
  53. Shit.
  54. I'm An Author.
  55. Decisions.
  56. Confessions.
  57. Remember, Remember the 5th of November.
  58. Save Me.
  59. i used to bring home drunken bodies in the night.
  60. You.
  61. So, There's This Girl...
  62. WTF, Bro.
  63. Promises and Goodbyes.
  64. What Now?
  65. I Can't Do This.
  66. Bailing Is A Skill I Have.
    But I Didn't Realize You Had It Too.
  67. Me.
  68. Writing Is A Sin.
  69. Mom.
  70. Balance Is A Hard Thing To Come By.
  71. It's Always You, You, You Inside My Head.
  72. I Should've Seen You Coming.
    I Was A Drizzle, And You Were A Hurricane. [Part I]
  73. Libido's and Heartbreaks.
    I Was A Drizzle, And You Were A Hurricane. [Part II]
  74. He Would Never Know, But I Would.
    I Was A Drizzle, And You Were A Hurricane. [Part III]
  75. Wanting, Waiting.
  76. Forgive Me, Please.
    I Was A Drizzle, You Were A Hurricane [Part IV]
  77. A Pocketful Of Secrets.
  78. The Things I've Never Told Are Things I'm Dying To Forget.
  79. Why?
  80. Circle, Circle, Dot, Dot.
  81. Pathetic.
  82. The Road.
  83. ***. You.
  84. Finally.
  85. Thoughts.
  86. Butterflies.
  87. I Might Just Love You.
  88. Hearing.
  89. bad friends, bad decisions.
  90. Letters To No One.
  91. Anyone.
  92. Innocence Is Not a Question of Morality
    Rosie Posie, puddin' pie, kissed the girls and made them cry. Rosie Posie, puddin' pie, you are the apple of my eye.
  93. Lost.
  94. Love.
  95. A Poem.
  96. Gyce.
    I was never supposed to love you like this.
  97. SG Is A Mystery.
  98. the *** even, bro.
  99. Is It A Lie?
    I don't know.
  100. i figured it out withotu figuring anything out at all.
  101. The Slow Descent Into Chaos.
  102. Girls and Alcohol.
  103. What is this?
  104. I'm Not Sure of Anything Right Now.
    Except for you.
  105. Jackass.
  106. Memories Come And Go, But Words Are Forever.
  107. Lonely Beyond Compare.
  108. These Thoughts In My Head Are Better Off Dead.
  109. I'm Not Scared of You, But You Scare Me.
  110. Please, Stop This.
  111. Sorry Doesn't Cut It
  112. Self-Loathing is Only Imminent.
  113. Falling Leaves.
  114. Saving Grace.
  115. All Hail The Heartbreaker
  116. L, I Miss You
  117. Avery.