Forever Sleep

She looked up to the sky and what did she see? So many clouds. That’s how she felt. Like if her heart was going to rain away for a long time. Every single hope was gone. That little sunshine that helped her in the dark moments disappeared as of magic trick. She was cold and it was going to be a storm in the city. But, what did she care about that? She had nothing. Once, she had it all. But those times were over. With her ballerina tutu and what the marks of the past left, she started running. She ran as fast as she could so that no one could stop her, she needed to be free. Her soul was covered with a thin blanket, like if it was an umbrella, her soul was safe inside her, despite the hurt that she felt.

Passing right next to the ballet studio were she started learning at the age of five, she stopped. She headed up to the building and admired what that place made her do, what that place teach her. Then, she remember the words from her instructor: “Whatever you do, is art. Whatever you feel, is art. Everything around us is the light that keeps us dreaming. Just don’t let it stop.”

“Hey pretty lady, I guess you should come in. A storm is coming and you can’t be outside all day long,” a young guy standing behind told her.

“I have to go, I need to be free,” she responded to the good looking guy.

“You need to be free? You’ll be free when you stop crying or running that much. I’ve been seeing you for some time, you didn’t stop at all,” he pointed.

“Sorry, I can’t stay. Even if my feet are hurting and it feels like if I was standing over a thousand needles. I have to find some tranquility just for me, but I honestly thank you for the offer, gentleman.” He realized she was right and then bowed to her, showing his admiration… And let her go.

She saw his face once again, just to get it grabbed on her mind forever and re-started her search for some peace. After a while that felt as if it was hours, she was completely out of the sight of anyone. She stood there and couldn’t resist it, she started crying. Her pain was so much that she couldn’t handle it at all. She could tell she was death, though she was still alive. She didn’t feel anything but pain and nostalgia, everything she had was her loneliness and her suffering.

Crying was the only way she could unburden. She had no friends, she had no hope, she had nowhere to go and plus, she didn’t have any money. Her life was ruined and her dreams fell over the sky as big meteorites that crashed down to earth. She couldn’t help herself but do something gross that so many people call “suicide”. Everything she wanted was to bring her peace, even if she had to kill herself to get it. Whatever she did, it was all in vain, nothing helped. She started counting to ten, just to see if any ideas came up about how to do that without getting any sorrow. But everything around her were many rocks, grass and a little mountain, it was high enough to jump from there to the rocks and have your head crushed. It was perfect.

She was preparing herself for what she was going to do, remembering the good looking man of the street, getting the images of what the word “beautiful” means. While she was doing it, and smiling because of him, little water drops began falling slowly from the sky like tree leaves. It was windy and the clouds were enough to cover almost all the sky but a little part. The sun leaned out from the hole, creating an arc right over her. It was an arc full of colors and tones that she had never seen before. It was the only rainbow she had ever seen. It was the perfect scene to let her long journey end.

She climbed the little mountain full of green grass and turn herself back, to see the little city that once was called “home”. All she had to do was let herself drop down and that was it. So she did it, and she fell slowly like a snowflake while she closed her eyes and began to see all her life in front of her, just like in the movies. She remembered every single moment of her good childhood that could never come back again. She remembered her parents, her death family, her old friends.

Suddenly, she felt the crash of her body with the sharp stones, trading it. At first, it hurt like hell, but after some seconds, she couldn’t do anything but smile because all the pain, all the nostalgia she usually felt, was gone. It disappeared so quickly that she didn’t even got into reason. Now everything was fine.