Never Ending Equation

I was fifteen when I watched her go around and kiss everyone out their to kiss.

"Dude. You do know she's here, right?" Andy asked me.

"Yeah," I told him with a nod before taking a sip of my Pepsi.

Almost half of our school was at Andy's house tonight. His brother, Nathan, was throwing a party since their parents were in Calgary for the weekend. There was more booze in that house than I could have possibly imagined. People were already hammered and the party had only started an hour ago. Some kid even crashed through their sliding glass door on a skateboard.

"And you saw what she was wearing?"

"Yes," I replied, growing agitated at his constant nagging.

What Nicolette was wearing could have hardly been considered clothing. Her skirt was so short that there practically wasn't even a point to wearing it in the first place. It covered nothing. Her shirt left a big gaping hole in the shape of a V, allowing you to see a small portion of her bra and all the cleavage she had to offer. The bottom of her plain, black shirt rose up her stomach as she moved around the house, catching the attention of nearly every guy.

I saw her passing through the archway that led from the kitchen into the room I was in when someone grabbed her wrist and spun her around. It was a mere second before their lips were attached. It wasn't just a simple kiss either. No, it was getting more heated by the moment. She slid her hands into his hair and he gripped her ass. She lifted her left leg and wrapped it around his thigh as he fell back against the wall to hold himself up. I wanted to barf.

They made out for at least five more minutes and I could feel my blood boiling. I didn't even think she knew this guy's name, but that didn't stop her from letting him have the time of his life exploring her mouth. I'd known her since elementary school and I couldn't even get her to give me hug.

"That's not the first guy she's done that with, you know. There's been at least twenty others," Ryan, a junior, said as he slapped me on the shoulder. "She basically jumped me ten minutes ago. I'd totally fuck her if I got the chance."

I gritted my teeth together and tried to keep myself from doing something I might have regretted--like strangling him. Thankfully, he walked away to go crack open another bottle of beer.

Another hour or so passed by, and I kept my eye on her the whole time, trying not to make it obvious. Instead of hanging out and cracking jokes with everyone, I suddenly felt like the reason I was here was to protect her and make sure she didn't get hurt. It's not even like her parents asked me to look after her or anything, I just felt I had to.

Soon, Nicolette was dancing a little too close for my liking with Nathan. I was surprised I had been able to stay as calm I was since I'd spotted her when I first walked in the door. But I wanted nothing more than to punch Nathan's face in for touching her like he was, and everything other guy who'd so much as even glanced in her direction.

A red cup was thrust into her hands by a guy I'd never seen before and she took it from him with a smile. After throwing her head back and taking a big swig of the alcohol she turned around and faced Andy's brother. She was more than a little buzzed, but she wasn't hammered and stumbling.

Nathan leaned in close and whispered something in her ear, to which she replied with a wicked smile and a little nod. He grabbed her hand, leading her away from the crowd and right past me. Nicolette pretended not to notice me and followed right behind him, their hands connected. She set her cup down on the banister of the staircase.

I knew where this was headed, and it wasn't good.

I shoved myself away from the wall and pushed through the crowd of high school kids. "Nicolette!" I tried yelling over the music.

She stopped momentarily and tried to find the owner of the voice, but ended up turning back to Nathan.

I caught up and grabbed her free hand, pulling her back down a few steps. "Don't go up there."

She rolled her eyes and scoffed. Nathan tugged at her fingers to try and get her farther up the stairs, but I managed to get her to stay where she was.

"Please, don't do go with him. You'll regret it."

"Fuck off, Jordan" she replied, spinning around to find Nathan no longer there. "Great, now look what you did, asshole."

She brushed past me and I followed her out the front door. "Stop following me."

"No," I replied. "I don't know why think you can dress like a slut all of a sudden and then almost have sex with Nathan Campbell. Do you know how many girls he's done this to? Do you really want to be the next one and then wake up and realize it meant nothing at all to him, that you were just another name added to the list?"

"You don't know what I want, Jordan."

"I know that you don't want that."

"It's not your place to make decisions for me. I can decide for myself. I'm not a little girl anymore! Get that through your thick fucking skull. I can kiss and fool around with whoever I want," she said.

"Jesus, Nicolette. All I'm trying to do is save you from something you're going to regret."

"Is that the real reason?" she asked. "Or is it because you're not the one I want to fuck, or even kiss?"

I didn't say anything, I couldn't. I could only stand there and absorb her words, hating how they were slicing me so deep.

"You've chased me around since I've known you, and for a while it was a fun little game, leading you on like I did," Nicolette told me. "Why can't you see that that's all it ever was to me? Just a game."

"You were never a game to me."

"Well that's what you were to me, Jordan. And every game eventually comes to an end. One winner and one loser," she said. "And you lost."