Right Through Me

“I had a great time today.” I said as the words slowly came out of my mouth. It was so much easier to say than I had anticipated. “I never smiled so much in one day” smiling again seeing that his lips stretched into a goofy smile again.

“Me too.” He fiddled with my fingers with his own biting his lip just to think of a way to tell me what he wanted to say “I was thinking…maybe we should hang out again?”

My heart accelerated at the mere thought of being around Fernando around alone. It was something that I always wanted after that faithful day of going our separate ways. I nodded, “Sure. It would be nice” swinging my body a little as I stood near Cesc’s house.

It was a bit weird that Fernando is saying good night to me at one of his best friend’s house. It was out of the ordinary but being around Cesc made me feel better about myself other than Fernando. Cesc was the only one I felt safe with, without using me like Katie and Noah have.

We stood there just looking at one another as a smile broke out on my lips as a giggle was released. He started to laugh as well trying to avoid my gaze. This was awkward, I didn’t know what to do or what to say since I didn’t want to leave just yet.

“I guess I will see you later?” I wanted to smack myself for saying something that I didn’t want to say yet. But thinking about it, maybe it was something that we needed. We shouldn’t be spending too much time with one another since we just got into each other’s good graces.

“Yeah, see you tomorrow?” I nodded again not trusting my mouth as I nibbled my bottom lip just watching Fernando. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me in a gentle hug, “It was good seeing you again”

“Ditto” I replied back. I sounded like he wanted to say something else and usually I would ask him about it up front but wanting to change the annoying qualities that I had, I bit my lip again. I swear it was becoming more of a habit than I would like; as long as it keeps me from saying anything then it was alright with me.

Wrapping my arms around his muscular form, I close my eyes relishing on the feel of his body on mine. It was something that I truly missed. It felt as right as our bodies molded perfectly together as my hands trailed down his back to his hips as I let go of him as he did the same.

Smiling at him once again, I walked a couple of steps as I put the key Cesc gave to me this morning into the lock. I was happy that he gave me a key so I wouldn’t have to knock on the door for him to open it because I didn’t want him to say anything about Fernando and me.

Closing the door as I heard Fernando’s car purr to life as his front lights beamed into the front door before it retracted letting me know that he was peeling out of the driveway and zoomed away; I leaned on the door with an infectious smile.

“Had a nice time today?”

I turn to see Cesc grinning from ear to ear with his arms crossed nodding his head. Rolling my eyes as I shrugged, “It was alright” talking casually like it hadn’t affected me in any way that I spent most of my day with my ex.

“Liar” he pointed at me, his dark eyes narrowed playfully at me “You had a great time and you don’t want to admit it. Come on, admit it”

I scoffed, “I don’t know what you’re talking about” as a light blush tinted my cheeks as I walked away from the front towards the living room. One thing I didn’t want to do was talk about my day with Cesc, as much as a best friend he was to me. It was something I would be talking about with a girlfriend, no; even then I wouldn’t do so.

It would make me vulnerable, soft, weak, and mushy like most girls that rant on and on about their ‘perfect’ day with their ‘perfect’ man. It didn’t sound like me to gush about my day, even though I hated to admit I did consider it perfect especially when Fernando kissed me.

“Then why are you blushing? Come on, Kitty. Just admit it” he whined at the end, jutting his bottom lip out as he collapsed on the couch dramatically. “It wouldn’t kill you to gush about your perfect day with your perfect man”

I swear he could read my mind sometimes.

“Am I that easy to read or do you and Fernando have telepathy powers that you have been hiding from me?” I asked.

“Oh no” the Spaniard sat up “You are not going to avert this topic and yes we do if you must know. It was our secret; we can read stubborn girls who won’t tell their best friend about their day”

“If that was true then you wouldn’t have to ask me about how my day was because you would have known how it went since you can ‘read’ my mind” I retorted back.

“I could only read what you have in your mind at the moment and right now you are not thinking about your day with Nando”

I rolled my eyes, “Just give up. I’m not going to tell you”

“It’s okay to be mushy. You already have been with me. Telling me about your day is a pale comparison of what you shared with me since I have known you and I have seen you in your downer days. So this wouldn’t be so bad, would it?” waving his arms around trying to make a point.

Cesc did have a point. I have told him my deepest darkest secrets, more so than Fernando. I told him about everything before I even told Fernando, he had seen me cry, being soft and weak. Something that I hated being when I was around someone.

I sighed, “Fine. I will tell you”

“Yay!” he cheered before he sat Indian style right next to me waiting for me to start off on my day. I refrained from saying something about him being really gay at the moment but since I did want to talk about this, he will do.

“We were a little awkward when we first saw each other. I didn’t know what to think when I saw him towards me but after our greeting we started to walk around the city casually. We asked each other questions about how our lives have been and then I had to open my mouth and ask him how Li and him were doing” Cesc groaned as I continued “He asked what I meant by what I said and I told him that I thought they were a couple. Fernando cracked up saying that it was the most hilarious thing he has ever heard since…”

I paused before I cleared my throat, “Since he said how could he be with someone else when he still was in love with me.” After that sentence I didn’t realize the glowing smile I had on my face as I continued on with my story. “We talked about our relationship and how paranoid I was about when we use to be together. Fernando said that he loved me and all my flaws; it was something that made me different than the rest of the girls. Even now he could see right through me”

“And?” he trailed off wanting to know the rest of the story.

“And nothing. That’s what happened” I said.

“You’re lying to me again” his dark brown eyes looked into mine as his widened in realization “He kissed you didn’t he?”

“No he didn’t”

“Was it romantic?”

“Shut up Cesc”

“Did he add some tongue?”

“Cesc!”

“What? I’m just guessing since you’re not telling- ow what was that for?” rubbing his face.

Gripping the pillow more firmly in my hands, “That was for being a smartass and acting all girly and shit”

Cesc glared at me before he grabbed a pillow of his own, “Oh it’s on then” swatting the pillow towards me I squealed as I started to swing my own all over trying to hit the man over the face. One thing Cesc could always do and that was make me have fun when I didn’t want to and to open up even if he did get perverted at times.

I wouldn’t have my best friend any other way.