Right Through Me

“….there was a little girl with him…he said it was Mai”

My heart was pounding as I pictured the little brunette girl standing beside Noah as she would look around curiously as to why she was here in this cold island that was her new home. Her grey eyes would look up to Noah for guidance and reassurance.

What did she look like now?

Was she shy and timid like me? Or did she inherit more of Noah’s traits than mine? It was all so confusing to actually think about as I couldn’t stop thinking about my daughter. Was she really here? Would I take a chance and confront Noah about it?

Did he only do this just to lure me in? I groaned in frustration as all the questions came flooding out uncontrollably. Deep down I knew that I couldn’t take the risk of not going with Fernando to meet up with Noah.

Tossing and turning in my bed I couldn’t find any sleep as my stormy grey eyes were wide open; I turned again as my arm hit something solid. That object grunted, I blinked wondering how Fernando got into bed without me noticing. Was I that focused that I didn’t feel his huge body climb into bed with me?

“Nando? What are you doing in here?”

“I knew you would have a hard time sleeping so I thought I would accompany you tonight” his accent was more evident as drowsiness overwhelmed his voice.

I bit my lip, “I’m not that worried…” there was a pause before I sighed knowing that in the dark my boyfriend was giving me a look “Fine. I was going over the possibilities of Mai not really being here, what if Noah just wants me meet up with me? What if he is just doing this to get back at me for rejecting him?”

Fernando shifted in the bed facing me “Do you really think Noah would go through all the trouble of finding a child that could pass off as your child just to get back at you for something he could find someone else to do?”

Pursing my lips I answered “You don’t know him like I do Nando”

What Fernando was saying did make sense but Noah wasn’t just a normal person; he was possessive and what he marks is his until he decides that he doesn’t want it anymore. Having Noah pursue me after breaking things off with him was a clear sign that he wasn’t done with me.

“Kit please don’t get paranoid. There is a high possibility that that girl is your daughter, she looked too much like Noah not to be her”

“How do you know it’s her? What if your mind is playing tricks on you?” I fired back.

All this was being too much and I knew it since I felt something in my gut that I was getting paranoid. Not that I didn’t trust Fernando’s judgment and reassurance that the girl looked like Noah but I couldn’t help myself.

“It was her”

“Did she have soft brown hair? Grey eyes? Pouty lips? Heart shaped face?” question after question my stomach clenched even more thinking that Mai was closer to me than I thought. Who would have thought that I missed her this much knowing that she is within distance?

Fernando inhaled deeply “Yes to all of those questions. Kit” he took hold of my hand rubbing it softly “I know that this is overwhelming to you and I know you miss her like crazy and you want her back now and I promise you that even if that little girl isn’t Mai we will find her and make some arrangement”

My eyes watered as Fernando was being so supportive, I felt the cushion that he always provided when I went over the edge. It felt stronger than before now that we have been through what we have been through and I just loved him more now than ever.

Squeezing his hand I murmured “I love you so much Fernando”

“I love you too Kit. Why don’t you get some sleep, hm?” he whispered.

He pulled me closer as I snuggled closer to him in comfort as a smile appeared on my face as my arms wrapped around his huge figure. Fernando hummed kissing my temple as I felt his chest go up and down while his heart beat was beating rapidly.

It was my own lullaby as I drifted off to sleep.

I tapped my foot as I scanned the perimeter of the park that we were standing at, I felt like I needed to do something more than tap my feet so I started to pace back and forth nibbling on my lips. “Kit” shoving my hands in my pockets I heard a squeal I turned swiftly to the sound as my face deflated seeing it was a little blond girl with her mother on the swings.

“Kit” Fernando halted my nervous pacing as I looked up at him “They will be here. Just be patient, I know how hard that is for you” he teased with a slight smirk.

I rolled my eyes as I murmured how he should shut up before I shove my foot up his ass; he had no idea how nerve wrecking this was. Finally meeting your child after four years was nothing like you ever felt before; what if she doesn’t like me? What if she is scared of me?

Fernando let me pace around a couple of more times before he took matters to his own hands, embracing me from behind “Nando what are you doing?” I looked at him strangely as he lifted me up and swung me side to side.

“Stop pacing. You’re making me nervous” he murmured into my hair before he set me down not letting go of me. I waited for him to let go but he never did, I called his name a couple of times before he answered.

“Yes mi amour?”

“Aren’t you going to let me go?” standing still like an idiot waiting for him to unwrap his arms around me.

As comfortable as it was I rather be standing next to him when Mai and Noah came strolling through. Fernando shook his head “You’re warm” that was his lame excuse.

“Nando let go of me”

His arms were still secured around my waist… “I’m serious”

“Me too” he retorted back as he kissed the side of my neck.

Without me noticing he distracted me enough that I didn’t see that the little girl and Noah were walking towards us in a slow pace. We continued our banter until I heard someone clear their throat making me freeze in a daze when I turned around seeing the brunette girl.

The small girl was holding Noah’s hand as she hid behind his leg; Noah wasn’t all too gentle as he shoved her in front of him. Her dark curly hair cascaded down her shoulders and framed her heart shaped face as her bangs hovered over her stormy grey eyes.

Her pale skin made her stick out from the dark clothing she was wearing as her pink rosy lips were pouty and shivering from the cold. My lips open and closed like a fish out of water not knowing what to say, she looks exactly like Noah.

She was small for a four year old but I couldn’t help but kneel down before her in awe as she took a step back in fright. “Mai?” I muttered in wonder.

Her glassy grey eyes looked at me in fright as she nodded holding herself as she swayed, my heart stopped as I saw it was the same position I use to do when I was frightened as a child. “Hi Mai. I’m Kit…your mommy” when her name tumbled out of my lips I felt elated.

She tilted her head as her pouty lips whispered the word softly, “M-Mommy? But my mommy is dead…” she trailed off.

I guess Noah told her what happened to her parents, pursing my lips “Ms. Neverline?” my eyes peered up to see a woman standing near Noah with a smart suit and a smile on her face. Standing up to my natural height “Yes?”

“Hi I’m Lily Perry, social worker for Mai Valentine Carter. I’m here to discuss the will that determined that Mai will be returned to her paternal mother. That is you, correct?” I nodded stiffly as Fernando walked beside me closer to Mai introducing himself so she wouldn’t have to stay with Noah.

While Lily was giving me a small story of what Fernando told me already I couldn’t help but wonder, “What was Mai doing under the care of Noah? Does he have any rights to her?”

Lily looked over at the blue eyed man who was standing a little ways off before looking at me again, “No…he gave all custody to you. He was in the will saying that he and you will be the caretakers of Mai but he immediately signed her over to you”

I swallowed a huge lump in my throat before she asked that I come by her office to fill out the paper work for Mai so she can get a visa or citizenship so she can legally live over here. “Will your husband be joining us?”

“Oh he’s not my husband…he’s my boyfriend. We live under the same roof” I clarified just to avoid stupid questions being asked.

Lily nodded, “Well if he wants her under his custody as well then he should join us let’s say tomorrow at 3 pm?”

“Sounds wonderful. One question, where is Mai staying at?”

The older woman looked at me before glancing at the little girl, “She’s staying at the foster care home until everything is settled. Don’t worry she is in good hands”

I furrowed my eyebrows at the statement; she was staying at the foster home? Then why was Noah taking her out and about? “Are we good here?” I jumped hearing Noah’s voice as his icy glare gazed into mine.

“…..Thank you” I whispered looking into his eyes.

He didn’t say anything but turn around and walked away, I knew that this might be the last time we see him. There was some good in him after all; since he has been taking Mai out a few times since her stay at the foster home.

Saying goodbye to Mai was the hardest thing, Lily beckoned her to come along with her to the foster home and her tiny body turned around in confusion. I knelt down to her height with a smile “Don’t worry. You will be staying with us very soon…okay?”

I already for an attachment to this girl as she shyly nodded as tears pricked her eyes following the woman to her car. My eyes followed the car until it turned a corner as I felt the warm hands of my boyfriend on my shoulders.

“I want to adopt her”

I swiftly turned around in shock, “R-Really? You don’t have to, she is my daughter-”

Fernando shook his head, “I already love her as my own, and if she’s a part of your life then she is a part of mine”

The pit of my stomach grew warm and fuzzy as I grinned from ear to ear happy that he wanted to adopt her just as much as I do. Bouncing on my feet I couldn’t wait until all the paper work was done and she was in my arms.