Right Through Me

My heart beat fast in my chest as my eyes frantically checked around the little playground to see where my daughter was. This was it; after the long process of the paperwork it was official as of today that Fernando and I were her parents. Adopted in Fernando’s case.

Fernando grabbed my hand as he pointed across the yard where she was sitting by the tree as always with a book in her hands unlike the other time we saw her. I wanted to walk over there but Lily wanted to talk to her before we could take her home. Seeing the woman kneeling down in front of my, no, our daughter her lips moved as Mai just shyly looked up at her before nodding slowly.

Lily pointed across the yard towards us and when her grey little eyes followed her finger to us my heart started to race in nervousness. Fernando squeezed my hand in reassurance knowing that I was having a mini panic attack on the inside.

“Let’s go talk to her” pulling my hand towards him we started to walk and I dragged my heavy feet across the yard dodging all the little kids running around towards Mai. Lily got up from where she was kneeling as she faced the both of us “She’s all yours” giving us a smile she walked away with a sense of satisfaction that she reunited mother and daughter.

My grey eyes met identical ones as I bent down to meet her eye to eye “Hi Mai” I felt Fernando kneel down next to me as she whispered a greeting holding her book closer to her. Licking my lips “Remember when I said that we will be able to take you home after a while?”

Mai nodded her brunette head as she glanced at Fernando and me “We are going to take you home today…is that okay?” even though it was a stupid question to ask I had no control over my mouth seeing that her doe eyes lit up for a second as she nodded.

Before I could say anything else she muttered “Is that my new daddy?”

I glanced at my boyfriend seeing if he was going to answer but since the question was directed to me I smiled “Yeah and I’ll tell you a secret” beckoning her to come closer to me her tiny feet padded closer to me as she leaned an inch forward before I whispered “He’s really nice guy so give him a chance okay?”

It was weird saying these thing since she barely knew me but having her once again in my grasp I felt like I have been around her for years instead of days. Mai didn’t question me as she waved at Fernando before tucking her hand back on her book again.

“You ready to go?” Fernando finally spoke up stretching out his hand for her to take biting her lip she wearingly took his hand not letting go of the book that she had. We stood up and started to walk across the field back to the entry way; this was surreal seeing Mai here with me and Fernando.

It was overwhelming but I wouldn’t have it any other way; getting her into the car I told her to buckle up hearing the little click I sat back on my seat as Fernando drove us home. The whole ride was silent no matter what we said Mai always kept a tight lip and didn’t say anything other than a few words.

I was getting worried how shy she really was but I had to remember that to her we were strangers and needed to gain her trust and it will take time before she got comfortable around us. As we got out of the car Mai cuddle her book in front of her as she followed us to the large house.

I almost chuckled seeing her little eyes grew big at the sheer size at the house and whispered “Wow” and when we got inside the house I led her to her room “We didn’t know what you liked so we left it a little bland” opening the door to reveal the room that was painted yellow “We found out your favorite color is yellow so hope you like the color of your room and we can go shopping for other things for your room later this week if you want so we can fill it up more”

I was ranting; I knew this but having a child all of a sudden was getting me nervous. Mai mumbled “Okay” she bit her lip before she looked at the both of us “Can we get books too?” she looked so scared when she asked us.

I nodded my head as I heard Fernando speak up “Of course. Anything you want we will get for your room.” The brunette smoothed out her head in comfort giving her a warm smile that made her smile a little bit as she blushed lightly.

“Thank you”

“You’re very welcome. Are you hungry?”

I shook my head when I saw that Fernando was trying to entertain the four year old by making the cooking experience fun by making faces with the ingredients he had on the counter. He thought making our own pizza would make Mai open up as we let her decorate her own pizza.

“I can put whatever I want on it?” she tilted her up looking at Fernando through her eyelashes.

He nodded “Yes” he chuckled when he saw that the chef’s hat that he got for her was falling over her eyes, moving it back so she can see she shifted on the stool she was standing on as she started to make little patterns with the pepperoni on her small pizza.

I smiled when Fernando poked her nose with tomato sauce and she giggled for the first time; I was glad that it took so little time for her to warm up to us. Mai looked identical to Noah with physical features but when it came to personality she had mine and luckily I haven’t witnessed her tantrum if she ever had mine then it would be bad.

But from where I was standing and witnessing with my very own eyes was that Mai had something that she didn’t get from either Noah or me; she was very open and loving the instant you meet her sure she was shy but after a while she was like an open book.

So likable.

So lovable.

It was the trait that I saw in Carrie and Garrett when they adopted Mai from me and I was glad that they took her in and raised her right. Mai’s little hands moved her hat from her eyes since it kept moving out of its place I walked up to her with bobby pins “Here let me help”

She stayed in place wondering what I was doing as I put the hat on a certain place before sliding in the pins to attach the hat to her hair “Now the hat won’t move”

Mai touched the pins that were in her curly hair before she beamed up at me “Thank you”

Patting her back “You’re welcome”

As Fernando and Mai put the pizzas in the oven for them to cook we went to the living room where the little girl went straight to the DVD section peering at the movies. “You don’t have any Disney movies?” she turned to look at us.

“I think we have a couple from when we babysat Lexi and Lilly-Ella that I packed by accident.” Fernando muttered before telling us that he will be right back. Walking up the steps it took him a few minutes before he came down stairs with a few movies in his hands giving them to Mai as she looked through them herself.

“Let’s see this one!” holding out Pocahontas in one hand she opened the DVD handing it to Fernando who sat next to her before plopping next to me as he put in the disk. Once the television was on he turned on switched channels as the previews started.

I was wondering why this movie was in DVD form but remembered that Lexi and Lilly-Ella loved the movie so much they ruined the cassette but before anything could happen to it Alex burned the movie to DVD so they can watch it as many times as they want.

As the movie started Mai sat comfortably between the two of us as her eyes were glued to the television mumbling along with the songs that came up throughout the movie; a few minutes later the oven beeped letting us know that the pizza was done.

Fernando sneaked out to get the pizza and prepare the food before he came back with plates filled with pizza slices handing it to Mai on the coffee table where she could eat. As he came back with glasses of water and one plastic cup with a lid on it she took the small cup after saying thank you. I swear this little girl was more polite than I was at the age of four.

Throughout the whole movie I was looking at the small child that was in our house and I couldn’t be happier seeing her giggle at certain parts and sing along with the songs that she probably memorized by watching it so many times. During the end of the movie I saw her head lean on the table and when the credits started to roll I got up from my seat to see if she was asleep.

Her slow even breaths told me she was and Fernando whispered to me “I’ll put her to bed” taking her little body off the table and carried her slowly up the stairs as I cleaned up the area around us. A smile crept on my lips seeing as this day was the greatest day that I have ever had.