Right Through Me

I woke up the next morning with blood shot eyes from all the crying that I have done last night. It was the biggest fight we had and I hate to say that Yolanda was right. Grabbing onto the pillow tightly as I heard movement downstairs.

In confusion, I walked out of our room and down the hall. I cautiously walked down the stairs to see Fernando sitting on the couch with a photo in his hands. Sitting right next to him, glancing down at the photo he was holding.

It was the first picture that we took when we first got together, we were so young then, naive in a way not knowing what was going to happen in the next four years. My hair was a bit darker back then since I have come from a sunny country, now it's lighter since of the lack of sun.

My gray eyes sparkled, as I was cuddled near Fernando with a huge grin on my face looking at the camera. While Fernando was looking at me with such love in his eyes, having blond hair back then. If you told me that Fernando and I were going to be on the rocks in the future I would have laughed in your face.

"What happened to us?" he whispered, bringing me out of my trance. His voice was filled with pain and uncertainty, he looked so broken when his honey eyes gazed down at me. I shrugged lightly as I muttered "I don't know, what do you think happened?"

I wanted him to tell me what changed in our relationship, it use to be so smooth well for us anyways. I have always accused him of cheating or some other form but he always saw through me and pointed out my lies.

He looked back at the picture as he stroked the picture of me, "Something happened to you, I don't know. Maybe it's from your past or something that happened while we were together. I have seen that your moods are so inconsistent and jump to conclusions all the time."

His gaze grew hard and cold as he stared back at me, "You use to want to have kids, get married. We talked about it all the time our first year together, but now you don't want any of it. I honestly do want to work this out but we need to compromise."

While he was admitted his thoughts to me, his face went from hard to soft by the end of his speech. He leaned his forehead towards me "I want the girl that I fell in love with. The real Kit Neverline."

I stood up straight, "I am the real Kit. What are you talking about?" offended that he would say something like this. He sighed, slamming the picture down on the table "There you go, lying again. When are you going to find out that I can see through you! We both know that you have changed for the worst and it's affecting us."

Fernando stood up in the process coming closer to me as he was yelling with a red face. His Spanish temper was getting the best of him, but I don't care because I have a temper just as bad as his and if he wants to be like this, then so be it.

"Clearly you can't see through me because this is the real me! My attitude isn't the thing that is affecting our relationship, it's you. Always talking about marriage and babies, it's getting on my nerves. If you know me so well then you should know it's irritating me and I don't want to hear it any more!" I yelled.

My blood boiled by just looking at the Spaniard as my hands slapped my sides. Massaging my temples "I am so sick of fighting with you, instead of talking like adults you always want to bring up things that get me riled up. Do you do that on purpose? So it would be easier to break up with me?"

I was feeling paranoid again and I realized what I said might be true. He's the kind of guy who would feel awkward to break up with his girlfriend of almost four years and try to start a fight to end it. Easier for him to move on.

Rubbing his face, "I deal with you because I love you. Always have. I don't want to break up with you but your making this hard." he walked down the hall, as I stood there hearing more movement.

My stormy gray eyes widened as I saw bags that he was carrying, he dropped his items. "Until you figure out whatever your going through, we need to take a break from one another. To think about if we want to stay together because this is too much strain and pressure for the both of us." he explained.

My eyes watered as my head shook, I meekly walked towards him. Begging "Please don't leave. I will figure it out but that doesn't mean you have to go." I followed him out of the house as I choked back a sob when he turned around.

"You do need space and so do I. We need to think things through, what you want and I want are completely different. Something that we can't look past because those things are so important to me and they use to be important to you too." he said softly.

He got in the car as I walked fast when he started to back out of the driveway, "Nando, please." I pleaded, he sent me a apologetic look and drove away. Covering my mouth as I felt my body tremble from the shock that I have received.

I turned around to walk back to my driveway when I saw Pepe standing on his porch looking at me sympathetically. He motioned me to come over there and I simply obliged wanting someone to be with me at this time.

No words were exchanged immediately as he embraced me, letting me cry as long as I wanted. My heart breaking just a little bit more since Fernando basically walked out on me, feeling abandoned and alone in this cold bitter world that we call home.

Rocking me from side to side, "Fernando left." I said simply, I heard his response as he hugged me tightly. "Do you want to tell me what happened?" he whispered. I sniffled and started to explain the fights that Fernando and I had.

He was quiet the whole time, absorbing what I just said as we stared at the heavy rain that pelted down. "I think Fernando is right" I looked up, he quickly explained "You both need some time apart to think things over, do you really mean what you said Kit. Or are you hiding something and it's put fear into what you really want?"

Turning my head back toward the rain once again as I contemplated "I hate it when your serious." I mumbled "You always make good points."

He chuckled in response and he brushed imaginary dust off his shoulder "I know, I'm cool like that." I laughed softly, he always knows how to make me laugh in serious situations and I hugged him tighter.

"Thanks Pepe, your the best." I muttered into his sweater. He stood up with a twinkle in his eyes "No problem, let's go play some FIFA. Feel like kicking your ass today." I rolled my eyes as I scoffed.

Pepe pulled me up and lead me inside the warm house, he always knew what to say. The whole time I was playing I couldn't help but think what Fernando would be at or what he was doing. Slowly Pepe distracted me enough to forget about my current problems and just have fun for a little while longer.