Right Through Me
Flashback -My Mai Valentine
“Joyce! You fuckin’ bitch get back here!” my father hollered as his face was beet red from the anger he was showing. His grey eyes were dilated portraying that he was drunk out of his mind again, I saw my mother face tighten in anger.
I quivered when I saw my mother telling my father off grabbing a beer bottle to toss it at his head, I ran to my room to escape from the mini war that they were ensuing. Covering my ears as I heard crashes and cursing filtering the house.
Knowing that it was too dangerous to walk out of the house through the front door, I climbed out of the window of my bedroom. There was a wall of vines that were attached to a metal pole, grabbing onto it I slid down with ease like I have done many times before.
Once my feet landed on the ground, I ran for it. Bursting into an unnatural speed I never knew I had as tears streamed down my face. I had to get out of there; I knew that my father would come into my room to beat me again if I didn’t.
Running to the one place where I could forget all my problems as I felt my feet pound onto the ground from how hard I was pushing myself. Turning a corner as I ran to the familiar house that I call my home. I rapidly knocked on the door waiting for someone to answer.
Finally the bright blue eyed boy looked at me with a grin on his face but soon disappeared when he saw my tear stained face. He let me in, as he said “Again?” I nodded meekly as I quickly wiped the tears that were still plastered on my face.
“That’s the third time this week, Kit” he said worriedly “Maybe you should just live over here-“
“No” I cut in. “I just need a place to crash for today. Don’t worry about me Noah. I will be fine.” I forced a smile on my face. Feeling the strain that I put on my face as he raised a brow and nodded at my answer.
Without saying anything I grabbed his hand as he silently followed me like a lost puppy. Walking up the stairs he knew where this was going and never rejected me for it. I knew I was heading down the wrong road but I didn’t give a damn.
It helped me forget about everything that I was going through at the moment with my violent parents. Turning around quickly once we reached the room, I smashed my lips with his as we frantically tore each other’s clothes off.
The ache in my stomach grew wanting to feel the intimate contact that I needed for the past few hours. He pushed my body onto the bed as I looked into the beautiful blue eyed boy that turned my life around, helped me through the tough times. I was grateful.
Once the school bell rang I bounced off of my seat as I bolted out of the school. My eyes scanned through the parking lot as I found the car that belonged to Noah as he leaned on it with a smirk on his face.
Running towards him, I kissed his lips as my hands crawled up his chest. Hungry for him since the beginning of the school day. We parted as I murmured “I need you right now.”
He nodded and ran to the driver’s seat as I quickly opened the passenger’s side of the car as he quickly sped of school grounds as I giggled at his anticipation.
Soon after he had me begging to have sex with him. He knew I wanted him every single day and that the fights in my household were getting worse. Whenever I would go over his house he would want something else out of me.
He wanted to try things without using protection, he was sick of using condoms because he didn’t feel as close to me. I didn’t understand but he made me get on birth control so I won’t get pregnant, I knew that using just one contraception isn’t enough to protect me from unwanted pregnancy.
But I needed him, wanted him and he was the only one who was willing to have sex with me and feel comfortable he won’t take advantage of me.
I lurched out of bed one day as I felt something crawl up my throat. I hurled in the toilet seeing all the contents that I had in my stomach, I grimaced at the sight as I pressed my forehead to the cold seat.
This has been happening for almost two months, I knew the worse was coming true. I could be pregnant. To make sure I was, I walked to the corner store that was a five minute walk from my house as I meekly walked in.
Scanning down the aisles to see where the pregnancy tests were. Once I saw the aisle I walked in as I saw an older woman look at me with disappointment. She shook her head when she saw me taking some of the tests in my hands.
I rolled my eyes as I bought them and walked right back home. I took a bottle of soda from the kitchen as I walked up the stairs. For once I was happy that my parents weren’t home and had to work late tonight. Once I felt it, I took the test and waited for them to show the results.
I paced back and forth until I heard my phone beep signaling that the time was up. Taking a deep breath I peeked at the results as my breath hitched. I was pregnant. With Noah’s child.
The next day my parents fights began again as they fought over the fact that my father slept with another woman. Hearing my mother roar at my father and him roaring back I immediately climbed down the pipe and ran to Noah’s house again.
He opened the door and the same routine happened again. When he rolled off of me as his chest went up and down from the activity we just did. I called out to him as he answered back asking me what I wanted.
He smirked when I didn’t answer as he rolled on top of me again “Wanna go again?” before he could press his lips on mine I blurted out “I’m pregnant.” He froze as he jumped off the bed yelling at me “You can’t be pregnant! You better get an abortion Kit! I’m not raising a damn baby.”
He stormed out of the room, I started to cry as I grabbed a fist full of hair in frustration. Pulling the covers over myself as I cried myself to sleep and Noah didn’t come back into the room until I left the next morning.
I inhaled sharply when I looked at the clinic, putting a hand on my stomach as I went inside. Filling out a form and waiting for my name to be called. I looked around to see some women who were holding their babies some who had joy in their eyes and some just look annoyed at the sweet little baby.
“Kit Neverline.”
I turned to see a nurse who beckoned me to come in as I followed right behind her. I sat on the table as the doctor came in asking me what I wanted. Picking at my jeans I muttered “I want an abortion.”
The doctor raised an eyebrow as she turned to me fully telling me that abortion can be one option that I have. I can either do that, have it and raise it myself or give it up for adoption which she highly recommended.
She convinced me to give it up for adoption when she heard about my situation, she wasn’t a huge believer of abortion but one thing stuck in my head that won me over. “If you don’t want the baby you can always give it to someone else who can provide everything you aren’t capable of. Don’t take your child’s life just because you weren’t responsible enough.” She lectured.
I nodded as I left the clinic with a hand on my stomach, determined to find a loving home for this baby. Months after I found it was going to be a girl I picked out a name when I found the perfect couple who would take care of her.
They were shocked when I told them that I wanted a closed adoption explaining to them that this is their child and didn’t want her to know what kind of person I was. They nodded in understanding as they continued to talk about what they needed for the baby.
Sweat covered my face as it trickled down in beads as my eyes glossed over in pride to see my baby girl looking up at me. Her grey eyes were prominent, the only thing she inherited from me as everything else was from Noah.
I held onto her tightly as I cried, rocking her side to side as the couple came in peering down at the baby girl in my hands. Carrie gave me a warm smile as she asked “What’s her name?” I smiled back as I gave a watery response “Mai Valentine”
Giving Mai to her new mother as I saw how Carrie’s eyes glowed with happiness as her husband Brett smiled widely. Turning my head as tears started to slip out of my eyes again as they thanked me as walking out of my room.
Feeling empty as I raised my arms over my eyes as sobs racked my body from the sadness I never knew I would get when I gave her up. Honestly, I changed my mind. I wanted her back. I wanted to raise her and take care of her myself but I knew I was far from capable from doing that myself.
It wasn’t about what I wanted, it was about what’s best for my daughter and the best thing for her was Carrie and Brett who will be the best parents she could ever have. No bickering parents who were violent towards each other or crying out of fright. Just safety and security a family should show a child.
I quivered when I saw my mother telling my father off grabbing a beer bottle to toss it at his head, I ran to my room to escape from the mini war that they were ensuing. Covering my ears as I heard crashes and cursing filtering the house.
Knowing that it was too dangerous to walk out of the house through the front door, I climbed out of the window of my bedroom. There was a wall of vines that were attached to a metal pole, grabbing onto it I slid down with ease like I have done many times before.
Once my feet landed on the ground, I ran for it. Bursting into an unnatural speed I never knew I had as tears streamed down my face. I had to get out of there; I knew that my father would come into my room to beat me again if I didn’t.
Running to the one place where I could forget all my problems as I felt my feet pound onto the ground from how hard I was pushing myself. Turning a corner as I ran to the familiar house that I call my home. I rapidly knocked on the door waiting for someone to answer.
Finally the bright blue eyed boy looked at me with a grin on his face but soon disappeared when he saw my tear stained face. He let me in, as he said “Again?” I nodded meekly as I quickly wiped the tears that were still plastered on my face.
“That’s the third time this week, Kit” he said worriedly “Maybe you should just live over here-“
“No” I cut in. “I just need a place to crash for today. Don’t worry about me Noah. I will be fine.” I forced a smile on my face. Feeling the strain that I put on my face as he raised a brow and nodded at my answer.
Without saying anything I grabbed his hand as he silently followed me like a lost puppy. Walking up the stairs he knew where this was going and never rejected me for it. I knew I was heading down the wrong road but I didn’t give a damn.
It helped me forget about everything that I was going through at the moment with my violent parents. Turning around quickly once we reached the room, I smashed my lips with his as we frantically tore each other’s clothes off.
The ache in my stomach grew wanting to feel the intimate contact that I needed for the past few hours. He pushed my body onto the bed as I looked into the beautiful blue eyed boy that turned my life around, helped me through the tough times. I was grateful.
Once the school bell rang I bounced off of my seat as I bolted out of the school. My eyes scanned through the parking lot as I found the car that belonged to Noah as he leaned on it with a smirk on his face.
Running towards him, I kissed his lips as my hands crawled up his chest. Hungry for him since the beginning of the school day. We parted as I murmured “I need you right now.”
He nodded and ran to the driver’s seat as I quickly opened the passenger’s side of the car as he quickly sped of school grounds as I giggled at his anticipation.
Soon after he had me begging to have sex with him. He knew I wanted him every single day and that the fights in my household were getting worse. Whenever I would go over his house he would want something else out of me.
He wanted to try things without using protection, he was sick of using condoms because he didn’t feel as close to me. I didn’t understand but he made me get on birth control so I won’t get pregnant, I knew that using just one contraception isn’t enough to protect me from unwanted pregnancy.
But I needed him, wanted him and he was the only one who was willing to have sex with me and feel comfortable he won’t take advantage of me.
I lurched out of bed one day as I felt something crawl up my throat. I hurled in the toilet seeing all the contents that I had in my stomach, I grimaced at the sight as I pressed my forehead to the cold seat.
This has been happening for almost two months, I knew the worse was coming true. I could be pregnant. To make sure I was, I walked to the corner store that was a five minute walk from my house as I meekly walked in.
Scanning down the aisles to see where the pregnancy tests were. Once I saw the aisle I walked in as I saw an older woman look at me with disappointment. She shook her head when she saw me taking some of the tests in my hands.
I rolled my eyes as I bought them and walked right back home. I took a bottle of soda from the kitchen as I walked up the stairs. For once I was happy that my parents weren’t home and had to work late tonight. Once I felt it, I took the test and waited for them to show the results.
I paced back and forth until I heard my phone beep signaling that the time was up. Taking a deep breath I peeked at the results as my breath hitched. I was pregnant. With Noah’s child.
The next day my parents fights began again as they fought over the fact that my father slept with another woman. Hearing my mother roar at my father and him roaring back I immediately climbed down the pipe and ran to Noah’s house again.
He opened the door and the same routine happened again. When he rolled off of me as his chest went up and down from the activity we just did. I called out to him as he answered back asking me what I wanted.
He smirked when I didn’t answer as he rolled on top of me again “Wanna go again?” before he could press his lips on mine I blurted out “I’m pregnant.” He froze as he jumped off the bed yelling at me “You can’t be pregnant! You better get an abortion Kit! I’m not raising a damn baby.”
He stormed out of the room, I started to cry as I grabbed a fist full of hair in frustration. Pulling the covers over myself as I cried myself to sleep and Noah didn’t come back into the room until I left the next morning.
I inhaled sharply when I looked at the clinic, putting a hand on my stomach as I went inside. Filling out a form and waiting for my name to be called. I looked around to see some women who were holding their babies some who had joy in their eyes and some just look annoyed at the sweet little baby.
“Kit Neverline.”
I turned to see a nurse who beckoned me to come in as I followed right behind her. I sat on the table as the doctor came in asking me what I wanted. Picking at my jeans I muttered “I want an abortion.”
The doctor raised an eyebrow as she turned to me fully telling me that abortion can be one option that I have. I can either do that, have it and raise it myself or give it up for adoption which she highly recommended.
She convinced me to give it up for adoption when she heard about my situation, she wasn’t a huge believer of abortion but one thing stuck in my head that won me over. “If you don’t want the baby you can always give it to someone else who can provide everything you aren’t capable of. Don’t take your child’s life just because you weren’t responsible enough.” She lectured.
I nodded as I left the clinic with a hand on my stomach, determined to find a loving home for this baby. Months after I found it was going to be a girl I picked out a name when I found the perfect couple who would take care of her.
They were shocked when I told them that I wanted a closed adoption explaining to them that this is their child and didn’t want her to know what kind of person I was. They nodded in understanding as they continued to talk about what they needed for the baby.
Sweat covered my face as it trickled down in beads as my eyes glossed over in pride to see my baby girl looking up at me. Her grey eyes were prominent, the only thing she inherited from me as everything else was from Noah.
I held onto her tightly as I cried, rocking her side to side as the couple came in peering down at the baby girl in my hands. Carrie gave me a warm smile as she asked “What’s her name?” I smiled back as I gave a watery response “Mai Valentine”
Giving Mai to her new mother as I saw how Carrie’s eyes glowed with happiness as her husband Brett smiled widely. Turning my head as tears started to slip out of my eyes again as they thanked me as walking out of my room.
Feeling empty as I raised my arms over my eyes as sobs racked my body from the sadness I never knew I would get when I gave her up. Honestly, I changed my mind. I wanted her back. I wanted to raise her and take care of her myself but I knew I was far from capable from doing that myself.
It wasn’t about what I wanted, it was about what’s best for my daughter and the best thing for her was Carrie and Brett who will be the best parents she could ever have. No bickering parents who were violent towards each other or crying out of fright. Just safety and security a family should show a child.
♠ ♠ ♠
Okay I felt like before we continued that you should know how her life was before I continue on. Did anyone catch that Kit picked up the throwing habit from her mother? Anyways thanks for the comments and please subscribe. :)