Right Through Me

I kept looking at Li and Fernando back and forth waiting for someone to answer. They stayed silent as Li stood there awkwardly, she looked at Fernando in question as he finally nodded. She started to walk across the room and grabbed an empty suitcase.

My blood froze when she unzipped the bag as she walked towards the drawers sorting through the clothes and packing them in the suitcase. I couldn’t take it as I marched over to her and snatched her hand tightly when she was about to grab another piece of clothing.

“What the hell are you doing?” I hissed dangerously. Li’s dark eyes widened at my sudden appearance by her side as she meekly said, “Helping Nando pack his stuff.”

My grip on the girl tightened when I heard her say Fernando’s nickname like they were so close of friends. I have never met her before, if they were so close then how come I have never met her? Questions just flooded my mind as I heard Fernando behind me.

“Kit, let go of her.” He demanded sternly.

I kept my grip on her until he asked again with more intensity as he asked me to go into the other room with him. My grey eyes darkened at his suggestion but glanced back at the Asian women before I trailed behind the Spaniard.

Stepping out into the hallway and into a few rooms down to give us some privacy in the least. I held in all my anger until we entered the room that he was chosen to talk to me in. Inhaling through my nostrils soothing my boiling blood.

Fernando spun around with angered eyes, “What is your problem Kit? Why did you have to treat Li like that, she has done nothing to you.” His lips were in a tight line, clearly frustrated on what I did to his precious friend.

Narrowing my eyes, “She has no right to start packing your clothes like you were going to leave! So please explain to me why she is packing your clothes? Why is she with you?”

“She’s helping me pack because I decided that I am going to move to Chelsea, they already have confirmed it and I was able to find a house in a matter of days.” He explained.

Placing my hands on my hips I fired another question, “Is she a close friend of yours?”

He nodded “How come I have never met her?” he licked his lips as he ran a hand through his hair, it only does this when he’s either nervous or frustrated. I didn’t know which one is was but I couldn’t take it anymore.

I couldn’t bear the brief silence that was surrounding us as my mind decided to come to a conclusion on it’s own. “Is she the other woman?” I said softly.

A lump formed in my throat at the thought of Fernando kissing her, holding her, even making love to her sickened my thoughts. I didn’t want him to leave me for another woman, it would break my heart if he did so.

He was the only one who understood me completely and tolerate all my baggage that I had. I cast my eyes downward pondering these thoughts until I heard him scoff.

“Kit, por favor. Don’t jump into conclusions again. She’s a friend of mine. The reason why you haven’t met her is because she lives in London. Whenever we go over there she’s always busy that is why you haven’t met her before.”

I crossed my arms, “Busy with what?” tapping my foot as I felt like this civil conversation was about to turn ugly. I could feel it in my soul that it was going to turn into something else. That everything was about to be out in the open.

“She’s a doctor Kitty. Busy almost 24 hours a day. She is taking the week off to take a break.” His tall stature towered over me, pushing my hair back off my shoulder. His chocolate honey brown eyes looked into my soul like they always do.

Only one sentence was swirling in my mind. I wanted it to keep it to myself but I couldn’t help myself. Those simple words just fell out of my mouth like it was the easiest thing to do, “I don’t believe you.”

He honestly did look hurt when I told him that I didn’t believe a single word he said. I just couldn’t. How could I have not met this woman before hand? Fernando is a gorgeous man, she’s a gorgeous woman. I am average.

You do the math. My stringy blonde hair that framed my oval face that with dark gray eyes that I inherited from my father which I absolutely detested. My plump pink lips were the only thing on my face that I actually liked.

My curvy figure that stood at 5’5”, medium sized chest with thick legs and wide hips that I hated with all my heart. Li was the opposite, her dark eyes and hair fit perfectly with her face. Her face was alluring in every single way while mine was not.

Her figure stood at the amazing height of 5’10” which overtook me a good five inches, her body was to die for and every man would break their necks looking at her. I couldn’t help but assume the worst and conclude that he was seeing her.

“Kit, you actually think I’m seeing her?” he asked in a high pitched voice. I stiffly nodded quickly and retracted from him when he tried to touch me. I didn’t let him touch me, I knew that I would cave and melt into him if he did.

I didn’t want to fall into his tricks, every man was the same. “How could I not assume? She’s perfect Nando! She’s everything a man wants and yet you say you’re not cheating on me. Just confess Fernando! Say it to my face!” I yelled.

Heat rose to my face in anger, jaw locked tight as I felt tears springing into my eyes from the frustration I was feeling throughout my whole body. Fernando threw his hands in the air saying things in his native tongue.

“Kit I am not cheating on you! What is it going to take for you to believe me?” he begged.

He looked desperate for me to take his word and have this fight over and done with. But no, my mind wouldn’t let me, those voices in the back of my head kept telling me he was lying, that he was cheating on me, worst of all he doesn’t love me anymore.

“Just say it Fernando. Tell me the truth.” I strained.

He sighed “Kit, I am sick and tired of you doing this. Every single time you assume I am cheating on you gets frustrating. Clearly this break that we had isn’t working.”

My grey eyes lightened as my lips parted a bit asking him what he meant. I hope deeply that he didn’t know what he meant what he said. That just said that out of anger.

But he just looked at me, “All these years that we spent with one another, we haven’t gotten anywhere. We have been stuck in the same rut for two years. It’s not working out. I have been talking to Li since she knows what our situation is, convinced me actually to come here and talk to you.” He trailed off.

“She convinced me to talk out our problems, to find a middle ground. Obviously we haven’t found it, don’t think we ever will.” He continued “You can stay in this house and I will pay for the house for you to live here or move out like I am. It’s all up to you. Let me know your decision.”

All that said I just stood there with a hurt expression as I saw Fernando walking out the door. I forced myself to follow him as I saw Li walking down with a bag to put in the car that they drove over here. She stood frozen still when she saw me.

She walked over “I’m so sorry that this is happening. I thought you guys would fix your problems, I could talk to him if you want. I honestly think he just needs to calm down and he will realize that what he did was a mistake.”

“No. Don’t talk to him. He’s all yours now.” I spat. She flinched back and retreated back to the car with the bag in tow. I stood next to the door way as Fernando walked towards me with the last bag that he had in his hand.

I avoided his gaze when he stopped in front of me, “I’m sorry it has to be this way Kit. I truly am.” I bit my lip as the warmth that was near me soon vanished. I closed the door with my back, sliding down as I whimpered.

Tilting my head up, I felt the tears sliding down my cheeks slowly before they started to fall even more quickly than ever before. What was left of my damaged heart was gone. Everything that was keeping my fragile heart together were demolished.

I had no heart anymore, numbness spread throughout my body as I felt the ache that my heart was bleeding. The only thing I could feel at the moment and I couldn’t help but wanting Fernando to hold me like he use to do. I wish that I kept my mouth shut and not let my paranoid mind take over.

It was too late.

He was gone.