Friends With Benefits

I received a call from Will later that afternoon that he had given Fletch a stern talking to and dispatched him home. He offer to come over, but I just wasn’t in the mood to see anyone. He even suggested we go to the party he had refused to take me too earlier, but I rebuffed that as well. Sara came over for a little bit on Sunday at Will’s behest, though she only stayed for thirty minutes or so. I refused to talk about anything Fletch or Will related and the fact that I was in a general sour mood didn’t encourage her to stay very long. I was still horribly mad at Fletch and I hadn’t answered or returned to any of his phone calls.

I asked Will specifically if he would be kind enough to take me to and from school indefinitely, making it sound as though I actually had some intention of getting back on good terms with Fletch. He tried to talk me into forgiving Fletch, but when he realized I was ready and willing to hitch a ride with Eric, Sara, even put up with Chuck Fink rather than see Fletch, Will relented and agreed to drive me. I knew Will hated it when Fletch and I fought since he was always stuck in the middle of our brawls. I couldn’t explain to him exactly why I was so mad at Fletch. I just told him that Fletch took things too far and I couldn’t handle being around him. Will was able to accept that, though I was afraid he would push for more details and Fletch would be more than willing to oblige him.

I was glad to have the ride to school with Will to ease my nerves. We rocked out to music, joked around, and I couldn’t help but focus on everything I loved about him. He was sweet, funny, and smart. He could hold a serious, meaningful conversation, but at the same time, he still new how to have fun and make me laugh. His car pulled in to the parking lot and we got out together. I noticed several girls were giving me the stink eye because I was with Will Swain and honestly, he made it even worse by slinging his arm around my shoulder in a friendly gesture. I knew Will didn’t mean anything by it, but I could help but feel the butterflies in my stomach as he pulled me closer to him, perhaps closer than friends should be.

Fletch had been waiting for the two of us to arrive, leaning up against a pole that held up the overhang that wrapped around the outside of the school building. However, once he saw Will tighten his arm around my shoulders, Fletch gave a disgusted look at the both of us and completely stormed off. If Will saw Fletch, he certainly didn’t act like it as we walked into the building together, laughing and cutting up like old times. We continued to draw stares and glares as we made our way to homeroom and more than a couple of raised eyebrows from our circle of friends. Sara wasted no time in berating me as soon as the two of us got into the safety of our homeroom.

“What is going on, Lenny?” Sara demanded to know. “Why was Will all over you like that? The two of you didn’t hook up or something, did you?”

“No,” I said sadly, “but I’m glad to have Will back as my friend again. He’s been really supportive since Fletch turned into a total ass at the party Friday night and has been harassing me ever since.”

“What do you mean?” Sara frowned.

I explained to her all about Fletch’s drunken antics, kidnapping me the following morning, doing everything in his power to keep Will and I apart, and then, after I mustered up the courage not to cry, his painful comments about me being sloppy seconds for any and every guy on the planet. Sara was dumbfounded, to say the least, and she looked every bit as pissed at Fletch as I had felt. I smiled inwardly, knowing Sara was coming to the same realization about Fletch I had a long time ago. He might be good for a quick hook up to forget your trouble, but Fletcher Murphy was under no circumstances boyfriend material. He was a sleazy jerkwad who tormented you once he figured out he wasn’t getting into your pants.

“That doesn’t sound like Fletch,” Sara said finally.

“You can ask anyone at the party the other night how he was acting and you can ask Will if you don’t believe me,” I snorted. “He’s an ass.”

“It’s just… so out of character for him,” Sara shook her head.

“No, it’s exactly in character for him,” I replied. “This is exactly how he’s behaved to me ever since we were in the fifth grade. And now… now it’s just escalating. I don’t think I’m leading him on like you think I am, Sara. Although, I think I might need to cut Fletch out of my life entirely, for my own sanity and mental well-being if nothing else.”

“But you guys have been friends for…” Sara began.

“Fletch and I have never been friends,” I argued. “I just put up with him because he’s buddies with will. Just like you put up with Chuck because Eric and he are friends.”

“How can you say you aren’t friends with Fletch?” Sara scoffed. “You’ve known him for six years now and you spend just about all of your time with him when Will isn’t around. Even when Will is there, you’re with Fletch an awful lot.”

“Not by choice,” I snorted.

“You had him drive you around all summer,” Sara said. “And as I recall, you spent quite a bit of time at his place doing stuff…”

“..that shall not be mentioned,” I finished for her with a glare. “And those exact same reasons are why I can’t stand him. I don’t get what’s with you now, Sara. First, you were telling me to break things off with Fletch and now that I’m actually going to do it, you’re deadest against the idea. What’s up with you?”

“I just think… I think you’ve gotten too in over your head already,” Sara sighed. “You should have broken things off with Fletch long ago. Honestly, you shouldn’t have even let things start. But now, there’s that connection between the two of you. I mean, you can’t just stop making out with someone all of a sudden without someone getting hurt. The whole ‘no strings attached’ thing doesn’t work. There are already strings.”

“I’m not going to talk to you about this anymore,” I glared at her. “I’m not going to just stop being in love with Will and decide to get all romantic with Fletch. Why do you even want that for me? Fletch is a complete ass and you know how long I’ve wanted to be with Will, how deeply I feel for him.”

“I’m just playing Devil’s Advocate, Lenny,” Sara said quietly.

“I don’t want you to be Devil’s Advocate. I want you to be my friend like you’re supposed to be and actually side with me rather than siding with Fletch or siding with Will,” I hissed at her. “You’re supposed to be on my side, Sara. You’re supposed to support me, even if what you think I’m doing is stupid or wrong.”

“Maybe I can’t do that,” Sara said back at me, angrily.

“Well, if you can’t be the friend I need you to be, maybe you didn’t need to be my friend at all,” I glowered at her.

“Fine,” Sara frowned.

“Fine,” I shot back.

Honestly, it was the first fight Sara and I had ever had in the few years we had been friends. It was very uncomfortable for me and I instantly regretted getting angry at her. Instead of blaming myself or blaming Sara, I blamed Fletch. He had already ruined my whole day and we hadn’t even said anything to each other. In fact, I had only seen him for a grand total of five seconds that entire day. I ignored Sara completely as I headed to my next period, grumbling under my breath since I knew I would be sharing the class with Fletch. He came into the class right before the bell rang, slumped down into the seat next to mine, and thankfully ignored me just as much I ignored him the entire period.

I headed into chemistry next, trying not to look behind me. I could feel Fletch’s eyes glowering, as if they were trying to make my head spontaneously combust¸ as he walked directly behind me to class. We split up into our lab partner groups to do a worksheet and I couldn’t help but notice Eric was glowering at me just as evilly as Fletch was whenever my absent-minded gaze happened to wander in their direction. I turned back to Will, who was eyeing me uneasily, as if I had some yet to be diagnosed disease and he was wondering if I was contagious or not.

“Eric said you and Sara got into a fight,” Will mentioned.

“Yeah,” I grimaced.

“She wouldn’t tell him what it was about,” Will said.

“Stuff,” I grimaced. Will looked at me oddly. “Girl stuff,” I emphasized. Will looked away briefly. I smirked inwardly knowing that guys shook at the mere mention of girl stuff. Will was probably now afraid Sara and I had fought about periods and tampons and emotions and all of that stuff about girls that guys get creeped out by.

“Well, she was pretty upset,” I informed me.

“I’m pretty upset,” I snorted. “Anyway, she started it.”

“How?” Will asked. I bit the inside of my lip.
“Sara just isn’t being supportive of me at all. She’s not acting like my friend,” I sighed. “And she keeps making me out to be this bad person whenever I tell her about anything I’ve done. I’m just sick of it.”

“I’m not following,” Will admitted. I sighed, deciding I couldn’t completely lie to Will.

“Sara thinks Fletch and I should go out,” I replied. “And I can’t seem to convince her it’s the most god awful idea every thought of.”

“Yeah,” Will laughed. “You guys would kill each other.”

“Not to mention I’m not even remotely attracted to any part of him,” I snorted. “I mean, you kind of have to like someone to date them. And he’s annoying… If I had a checklist of things I wanted in a boyfriend, Fletch would probably only get a checkmark for being male. And sometimes, I’m not so sure about that.”

“Look, I’ll talk to Eric and see if he can’t talk to Sara, okay?” Will said. “I know you have me, but it’s good sometimes to have a friend of your own gender. I mean, I’m sure you’re as uncomfortable talking to me about ‘girl stuff’ as I am listening to it. Just like I doubt you want to hear about the ginormous log I shit out this morning.”

“No,” I said, scrunching up my nose. “I seriously didn’t need to know that.”

“That’s why I have Fletch,” Will nodded.

“To talk about disgusting bodily functions that shouldn’t be mentioned in public?” I snorted.

“No, to talk about ‘guy stuff,’ albeit gross bodily functions do fall into that category,” Will laughed.

I wasn’t looking forward to going to my next class. The only people I knew in there were Eric, Sara, Fletch, and Chuck and the latter was the only one not absolutely furious with me at the moment. I sighed, knowing I would have to do my best to ignore them all, especially Chuck. I knew he would be making up for the fact that no one else was talking to me by flirting like crazy with me. Mr. Greene was discussing the establishment of the electoral college and Chuck kept saying things to me like “I’d like to vote on your machine, if you know what I mean” or “I’d like to do some redistricting with you, if you know what I mean.” It was a little much and most of his pathetic attempts at come-ons made zero sense. By the time class was halfway over, I just wanted to crawl up in a ball and die. After Chuck asked me if I wanted to pair up with him for a winning campaign ticket, someone finally snapped and it wasn’t me.

“My God, Fink,” Fletch hissed at him. “Can’t you just shut the fuck up for one second? There is absolutely no lifeform, male or female, within a fifty mile radius even remotely interested in you. You’re not suave. You’re annoying everyone. And we all know you’re going home to play with your right hand tonight, so don’t even act like whatever lame ass attempt at seduction you’re making could have remotely worked in any alternate dimension…”

Chuck’s face went completely white and the guy looked like he was about to step out of the room and kill himself or something. I had been wanting someone to make Chuck shut up, but Fletch didn’t have to do it in such a way that made Chuck feel like he was lower than dirt. Fletch had definitely gone too far and instead of being grateful to him for shutting Chuck up, I glared at him before turning to Fletch, who seriously looked like he was about to cry.

“Ignore him,” I whispered to Chuck. “He’s got man PMS. Besides, I think Laurel McDermott has been checking you out all class period.” Chuck swiveled around to eye the sophomore who flirtatiously winked at him and then started giggling with all of the girls in the classroom.

Chuck ignored me for the rest of the period, focusing instead on his across the room flirting with Laurel. Eric, who had overheard Fletch’s rant at his best friend Chuck, now seemed furious at Fletch. Eric had given me a thankful smile for bringing back Chuck’s good mood before he went to blasting Fletch’s behavior in whispers. Sara seemed to be less angry toward me as well for what I had done. I hoped this little episode would show her Fletch’s true colors. Sure, I had probably condemned Laurel to being asked out by Chuck and consequently going on the grossest date of her life, but at least he the guy didn’t look terminally depressed. I didn’t particularly like Chuck, but I didn’t wish him any particular harm either.

The bell rang and all of us darted out of class for lunch. Chuck ended up walking out of the room with Laurel and I was sure I caught the two of them exchanging numbers as they stopped at her locker. I went to get my lunch out of my own locker, but I was confronted by Sara on my way there. She had a purely apologetic look across her face and I tried not to seem smug. She seemed to realize what I had known all along about Fletch and, even though I knew I couldn’t gloat, I also couldn’t help but feel delighted that I was right.

“Thanks for what you did for Chuck,” Sara said to me quietly. “Eric really appreciated it since people are always giving Chuck a hard time. Fletch was… way out of line with what he said. I mean, I can’t believe he’d actually say something like that…”

“Fletch isn’t the guy you think he is,” I offered. “He’s a jerk like that all of the time, Sara. Seriously. How could you want me to go out with a guy like that?”

“I think Fletch is just a little off today,” Sara said defensively. “Eric and Will both said he’s been acting really weird. Man PMS, like you said, I guess.”

“Well, I don’t know what crawled up Fletch’s ass and died, but it doesn’t mean he has to be a complete jackass to anyone and everyone who happens to get in his path,” I replied.

“You’re right,” Sara admitted. “Look, I’m sorry about earlier… It’s just… you’re my friend, Lenny. And I don’t want you to get hurt, but between Will and Fletch… you getting hurt seems to be all that can happen…”

“I’m a big girl, Sara. I can talk care of myself,” I assured her.

“I know,” Sara sighed, “but I’m just doing what I’d want you to do for me if I were in the same situation. You were right that Fletch isn’t exactly perfect, but you’ve got to believe me when I tell you Will isn’t all you think he is either.”

“I know,” I frowned, “but… I can’t explain it… I mean, you love Eric even though he’s a total goofball and has a few flaws, right? I mean, no one is perfect…”

“No,” Sara nodded. She sighed and linked arms with mine as I pulled my lunch out of my locker. “Okay, let’s stop being all soap opera-y and go have some lunch…”

“Sounds great to me,” I smiled.