Friends With Benefits

Halloween rolled around and as she did every year, Kelly Montauk threw her super slutty invite-only Halloween party. Every year, Kelly’s parents gave her their house, decked out with all sorts of creep decorations, and let her have around fifty to a hundred of her closest friends over to celebrate. If you were a girl, the entire point of the evening was wearing the skimpiest costume possible. If you were a guy, the point was to ogle the girls and attempt to take off their slutty outfits. Each year, Kelly handed out black envelops containing the invitations out at school. Starting around September, the school wannabes would flock to Kelly, buttering her up in the hopes of an invite. When the week before Halloween rolled around, Kelly would strut into school and people would flock to her, begging for an invite.

Naturally, I had not been invited to Kelly’s party this year, just like I hadn’t been invited every year since her first party back in fifth grade. Sara, Eric, Chuck, and Fletch hadn’t kissed up to Kelly enough to receive an invitation either, though Will was always on the guest list. At first, it was because Kelly was trying to get Will alone to flirt with him, but after their breakup, it became more about showing off her latest beau or the tiniest sliver of hope she had Will would get drunk and hook up with her again.

The whole week leading up to Halloween, Will had debated going to the party back and forth with me and Fletch. The downside was Kelly and basically every girl he had dated and dumped would be there, dressing as slutty as possible. Of course, Will couldn’t help put look on the bright side of things: that there would be tons of scantily clad, drunk girls just vying for his attention. I desperately hoped, at least for this one year, Will would opt out of the party and drunkenly hooking up with some idiot girl who would end up stalking him until Thanksgiving. I was talking with Will after study hall Friday afternoon when Lucas Garretson approached us, his stupid grin broad across his face.

“So, what are going as to Kelly’s party?” Luke asked curiously. “I’ve got this whole Tarzan thing nailed down and I gotta make sure they’re aren’t any copycats…”

“I dunno about going,” Will shrugged, “but I do have a leather jacket, some jeans, and hair gel just in case. I was thinking James Dean or something.”

“Bad boy,” Luke grinned. “The ladies love the bad boys, don’t they Swain?”

“You bet,” Will laughed. Luke turned to me, eying my body up and down. I cringed as he let out a slurp and gave me a wink.

“What about you Iverson?” Luke asked me with a grin. “I think you’d make a delicious little French maid… or a very wicked witch…”

“Watch it, Garretson,” Will warned him.

“I’m not invited anyway,” I shrugged. “Kelly would probably throw me out, even if I came as someone’s plus one.”

“I don’t know why she never liked you,” Will frowned.

“Maybe because she’s insanely jealous and a bit psychotic?” I mentioned, causing Luke to laugh.

“So, what are you doing for Halloween?” Luke asked me pointedly.

“Probably helping my parents hand out candy,” I shrugged. “Fletch and Eric were also talking about some sort of horror movie marathon at one of their places, so I might end up at that.”

“Iverson,” Luke said, stretching his arm around me, “I think you need some excitement in your life…”

“Ailee doesn’t need anything you have to offer,” Will insisted, forcefully shoving Luke’s arm away from mine.

“Cool it man,” Luke rolled his eyes. “Anyway, Iverson, if you want to actually do something fun tonight, you know where to find me…” Luke winked at me again and then trotted off.

“The nerve of that ass…” Will muttered.

“What ass?” Fletch asked, coming up to us. He had held after study hall for a few minutes by Mrs. Kastner the librarian for a lecture on why handstands are not permitted between the rows of bookshelves.

“Garretson,” Will replied.

“What’d he do now?” Fletch grumbled.

“Looking at Ailee like she’s a piece of meat,” Will said, annoyed.

“What’s his problem?” Fletch agreed.

“So, there has to be something inherently wrong with a guy if he thinks I’m hot?” I glowered at Fletch.

“No offense, Ailee,” Will said, “but Luke will bang anything remotely female. It doesn’t even have to be warm. I’ve seen him put the moves on people’s grandma’s before.”

“So, have you made your mind up about movies tonight?” Fletch asked Will. “We’re supposed to be at my place at five. I’m getting pizzas and drinks, but you guys have to get other stuff.”

“I’ll see,” Will shrugged. “I don’t know how busy I’m going to be tonight. Anyway, coach is calling a lame team meeting in a few minutes. Hope you don’t mind Fletch taking you home, Ailee.”

“I can hang out,” I replied.

“I don’t want you to hang out if Garretson’s still snooping around the school,” Will shrugged.

“I gotta make a pit stop at the store,” Fletch told me. “You know, to get the drinks. I pay for your stuff with my employee discount and then you can pay me back afterward…”

“Okay,” I sighed.

Fletch sped all the way to the grocery store, muttering about how Mrs. Kastner has a permanent stick up her ass, not to mention a personal vendetta against him. Once in the store, he wondered off to get the drinks while I mulled through the various chips and dip. We both selected our purchases and Fletch directed me to one of the empty check out counters. He checked both of us out with his discount, though I had a feeling the chips were a bit more expensive than he told me they were. I decided to keep my conscience clear by not asking him if he had embezzled our purchases in anyway.

“I wonder what Will is bringing,” I said thoughtfully as Fletch and I returned to his car.

“He’s not coming tonight, Lenny,” Fletch shook his head.

“But he said his plans were set in stone…” I began.

“That’s Will’s polite way of saying he’s ditching us so he can have sex with a random stranger at Kelly’s party tonight,” Will snorted. “Come on, Lenny. There are going to be dozens of hot, available chicks wearing next to nothing and parading around in front of him, just asking for it. That’s Will’s version of heaven. There’s no way he’s going to choose watching my parents’ DVD set of Hitchcock movies over that.”

“But he said…” I protested.

“You really have too much faith in him, Lenny,” Fletch shook his head. I pouted, unwilling to believe Will would ditch us yet again. Fletch sighed as he put our purchases into his trunk. “How about you come over and help me set things up? If nothing else, you can keep Kristy out of my hair…”

“Beats listening to my mother talk about the new tuna loaf recipe she’s going to try out,” I sighed.

Setting up at Fletch’s place hardly took any time at all. Honestly, all we did was prepare a place in the TV room for snacks to be set out and then make sure the DVDs were near the player. Fletch’s Dad would be taking Kristy trick-or-treating while his mom would be downstairs handing out candy to any trick-or-treaters that may come to the house. His parents were okay with Fletch having a few friends over and probably wouldn’t disturb us. From what I had learned from Fletch’s mother, Fletch didn’t have really any friends before they moved when he was ten and so his parents were always accommodating whenever he had someone over that wouldn’t punch him in his nerd glasses.

“So, what do you wanna do now?” Fletch asked, looking around the room. I frowned, knowing what Fletch was probably visualizing us doing until everyone else arrived.

“I dunno,” I frowned, not really wanting to end up in another compromising situation. “You wanna talk or something?”

“Talking’s okay,” Fletch nodded, motioning for me to sit next to him on the couch. I nervously took a seat next to him, knowing how often just sitting on this couch had inexplicably lead to us kissing for hours. “So, what do you wanna talk about?”

“Um… I don’t know…” I frowned. “What do you wanna talk about?”

“You’re the one who wants to talk,” Fletch shrugged.

“This is going nowhere fast,” I grimaced.

“You wanted to talk,” Fletch said.

“What did you want to do?” I asked. Fletch muttered something under his breath and I knew it would be no use getting him to repeat it to me. Since Fletch wasn’t going to initiate a conversation, I decided to start it on my own. “So, why do you think Will’s not going to come tonight? I mean, he’s supposed to be our friend. He’s supposed to choose us over… slutty girls…”

“No hot-blooded male would turn down slutty girls to watch movies,” Fletch shook his head.

“The why aren’t you going to the party?” I asked Fletch pointedly.

“Wasn’t invited and would get beat up by the football team if I even tried to crash it,” Fletch shrugged.

“I’m sure there are plenty of parties tonight filled with slutty girls that would be willing to let you in,” I replied sarcastically.

“Shut up, Lenny. It’s not like you’ve got lines of guys waiting to take you out,” Fletch snorted. “You probably wouldn’t even be able to land a guy, even if you dressed up in some French maid outfit or something.”

“You’re an asshole,” I hissed at him.

“Well, Will’s not the only fish who isn’t biting your line, you know,” Fletch shrugged. I was about ready to strangle him when he added with ha shrug: “Just saying…”

“You are the biggest dick on the face of the planet!” I glowered, hitting him with a pillow.

“If my dick’s so big, why’d you say I can’t get a date?” Fletch snorted.

I hit him again and he jumped on top of me, attempting to take the pillow from me. Remembering what happened the last time we started wrestling for something, I let him take the pillow and shoved him off of me. Fletch fell over, banging his arm into the coffee table. I glowered at him from where I was still safely situated on the sofa while he looked up me in a mixture of pain and annoyance.

“I think you broke it,” Fletch said, rubbing his elbow.

“I think you painfully over exaggerate everything,” I snorted.

“Painful is right,” Fletch grimaced.

“Painful is what you deserve after that wisecrack,” I glowered at him. “Besides, Luke Garretson seemed interested in me this afternoon. He suggested I dress up like a slutty French maid before you did and asked if Will was bringing me along so I could be properly ogled.”

“That proves nothing,” Fletch snorted. “Garretson would fuck anything with a hole. It doesn’t even have to be a large whole. I understand he’s got a pencil dick from all those steroids he takes…”

“You’re just jealous,” I snorted.

“On the contrary,” Fletch replied. “I pity anyone Garretson has his eye on. Anyone or anything.” I opened my mouth for a retort, but the sounds of Chuck, Eric, and Sara arriving downstairs interrupted me.

Even though I was among my friends, I felt completely alone. I spent the majority of the evening glancing at the clock on the wall, wondering if Will was going to show up. I wasn’t even remotely scared by any of the movies because I wasn’t focusing on them enough to figure out what was going on. When I wasn’t looking at the clock, I was glancing down at my phone, waiting for a text or call from Will saying he would be on his way. Around midnight, we had finished our third movie and everyone was looking to take a short break. I glanced up at the clock again and then down at my phone, sending a quick text to Will asking him what he was up to. It was just Fletch and I in the room since Eric and Sara went to get more snacks while Chuck was “dropping the kids off at the pool.”

“He’s not coming, Lenny,” Fletch said, sliding over next to me. “He’s at Kelly’s party. Or he’s left with someone by now.”

“Shut up,” I hissed at him.

“You’re really missing out on a good time, wondering and worrying about Will,” Fletch pointed out. “You shouldn’t let someone control your life like that…”

“I love him, Fletch,” I whispered, shaking my head. “That’s not something you can just turn on and off like a light switch. I can’t just ignore it. No matter how much it hurts.”

“I know,” Fletch sighed

“Why does it have to hurt so much?” I asked him, my voice breaking. “When you love someone, you’re supposed to be happy. It’s not supposed to be this painful.”

“I know, Lenny,” Fletch nodded.

He gave me a quick and much needed hug before we heard the others coming up the stairs and split from each other, not wanting to be discovered. When the next movie started up, I laid my phone aside and decided not to watch the clock any more. It was still a struggle to not glance at my phone every so often, but even if I had looked, all I would have known was that Will didn’t text me back.