Friends With Benefits

When I awoke, my backside was fairly cold but the odd thing was the other side was strangely warm. My eyes fluttered opened and I took in my surroundings, surprised to find that I was in the old tree house in our backyard. I was cuddled up with several of the old sleeping bags we always kept up there and, frighteningly, I wasn’t the only person cuddled up in them. My mouth fell slightly open to see Fletch with his arms wrapped around me, snoring slightly and sleeping peacefully. I didn’t have to look to know that he and I were both completely unclothed.

The memories of the night before came rushing back to me. First, it was the two of us drinking the various alcohols Will had people bring to his party. Then it was the two of us laughing and giggling, stumbling across from Will’s backyard to mine, Fletch supporting me as I attempted to drunkenly climb up the ladder to the tree house. The two of us laughed, talked, looked at the stars through the windows, and then things really started to unravel.

One thing had led to another and my next memory was of clothing being haphazardly discarded. I remembered then Fletch telling me about the strip of condoms he kept in his wallet that his annoying older cousin had given him as a mean-spirited gift for his last birthday. Next thing I knew, Fletch was inside me and it was increasingly painful. When I voiced this, Fletch seemed absolutely horrified at himself and would only go on with my insistence. I don’t know why I prompted him to continue, but I did. Again and again and again. By the time it was over, the pain had lessened but had never fully gone away.

When it was all over, the two of us were still giggly drunk, even though the pain from my first time had dulled some of the high feeling I had gotten from the wine coolers and various vodkas. It hurt a lot more than it was supposed to and I was about to give a lot of crap to all the people who were going on about how good it was supposed to feel and how great having sex was. I wondered why anyone would ever be so stupid to want to do something that was painful and honestly a little boring.

After taking a moment to recover, I found myself wrapped up in Fletch’s arms again and he was trailing kisses all over my body. I laughed as each kiss made a bubbly feeling rise in my stomach until his lips were again on mine. The second time he slipped on the little plastic sheath and slipped inside me, there wasn’t much pain. Within a few movements, I suddenly realized why people were always going on about this whole sex thing. Even though the first time had been rough and painful, Fletch was gentle and caring with his movements, caressing and kissing me as he went. Every motion Fletch made exuded love and passion, as if he felt something more than physical between us.

I closed my eyes and try to shake the memories away, but I knew it was impossible. I was furious with myself for letting things get this far. I knew I should have listened to Sara and broken things off long before. Now things had gone too far. I had lost my virginity to Fletch and I could barely remember any of it. This was not how I wanted my first time to happen. I had spectacularly ruined everything and I was afraid it was now too late to easily break things off with Fletch.

When I opened my eyes, I saw Fletch staring down at me, his arms still tightly secured around my torso under the sleeping bags. He was looking at me in the most peculiar way, as if he was seeing for the very first time. I opened my mouth slightly, wanting to say something but not knowing what to really do or say. Within a few seconds, Fletch’s lips were pressed against mine and, even though my brain was telling me I should know better, I couldn’t help but kiss him back, my hands moving upward to run my fingers through his hair. Fletch gently pulled away from me and I whimpered, the hormonal urges building within my body wanting more.

“Morning,” Fletch whispered hoarsely.

“Morning,” I replied so lowly, I wondered if he could hear me. Fletch grinned, curling a loose lock of hair around my ear.

“When are your parents coming back?” Fletch asked.

“Noon,” I replied, my voice cracking a bit.

“You wanna go get some breakfast somewhere?” Fletch asked, making sure his body fit against mine as tightly as possible.

“I guess…” I said nervously. “I should probably shower… and change…”

“Okay,” Fletch nodded. I frowned for a moment then looked back at him.

“Do you need…clothes or anything?” I asked.

“I have a spare change in my car,” he replied. Neither of us made any attempt at moving, still warmly cuddled up in the pile of sleeping bags around us.

“I guess we should get moving…” I said quietly. Fletch nodded and kissed me hungrily before he pulled away from me, flung the covers back and patted around to find his glasses.

The two of us awkwardly dressed, taking care not to look at each other’s nude bodies, despite the fact that we had sex twice the night before. We each slithered off out of the tree house and I crept through the back door of my house, leaving it open for Fletch to come in once he had collected his clothes from the car. I was in the process of picking clean clothes from my dresser when Fletch came into the room with his clothes. When I headed toward the bathroom with my clothes, I was surprised to find Fletch was following me.

“You have enough soap and shampoo for us both?” Fletch asked, concerned. I nodded.

Part of me wanted to tell him I didn’t want him to see me in the shower, but, then again, he had seen me completely naked the night before, not to mention we had shared one of the most intimate experiences of our lives together. I was surprised that Fletch didn’t try to pull anything when we were in the shower together. I tried to avert my eyes from looking at him, though I ended up being too tempted. Fletch, however, had the odd habit of showering with his eyes closed, opening them only to make sure he had enough shampoo to spread through his hair.

When we both exited, Fletch quickly dried himself off and dressed while I went through the routine of blowing dry my hair and putting on make up along with my clothes. When I was finished, Fletch was waiting for me, reclining on my bed in my room. He smiled up at me when I entered, getting up and walking over to place a light kiss on my lips. He put his hand in mine, a weird gesture that made me nearly back away from him. Being that Fletch and I weren’t dating, we had never held hands or really done anything that could really be constituted as romantic. Lustful, sure, but romance wasn’t our thing. However, the night before had changed things and I wasn’t sure where to go from there.

“You ready?” Fletch beamed at me. I nodded and allowed him to pull me downstairs with him, holding my hand firmly as we headed toward his car.

“Where are we going?” I asked him quietly.

“Where do you want to go?” Fletch asked me.

“Any where’s fine,” I shrugged as Fletch opened up the car door for me.

He had never done anything like that before and it unnerved me a little that he was being so gentlemanly. He rounded the car, seeming to skip as he went along, and then slid into the driver’s seat. I tried to ignore Fletch’s happy “I just got laid” look as he put the car in gear. I was starting to realize why people treated guys like they had “got some” while girls were made to feel like the had “given it up.” I felt like I had given something a way, something extremely special and important, and I had given it to someone I could barely stay in the same room with for five minutes without a fight. It made me feel disgusting and sick to my stomach.

“You okay?” Fletch asked me, his hand creeping over from the steering wheel to caress and then rest on top of my own.

“You don’t have to take me out to breakfast because of what happened last night, you know,” I said quietly, my head turned out the window. I wasn’t sure I could continue to face him without burst into tears. “It’s not like you owe me anything or need to pay me back or something…”

“I’m not trying to pay you back. I just want to take you out…” Fletch said, his face contorting into a frown. “I just want to spend time with you… what’s so wrong with that?”

“Never mind,” I sighed, not really wanting to explain myself to Fletch.

Though he continued to frown slightly, Fletch kept his hand covering mine and curled his fingers so they were intertwined with my own, occasionally rubbing his thumb over the top of my hand, the rest of the way there. I momentarily thought about wrestling my hands away from him, but I didn’t want to cause any unnecessary drama between the two of us after what I had just happened. I sat back in my seat, trying to figure out how I had messed things up so badly, almost forgetting Fletch had his hand in mine until the car came to a stop outside the restaurant.

We ate in relative silence, though Fletch kept intentionally bumping legs with me, rubbing his feet up against mine, or attempting to hold my hand on top of the table. I had always heard that girls became more clingy and obsessive after sex, but it seemed to be the opposite with the two of us. I wanted to withdraw and get on with my life like nothing had happened whereas Fletch wanted to bring us closer together, to show public signs of affection that had been completely off limits to either of us. I ate in silence as Fletch suggested various ways we could spend the day together: having a picnic, watching movies at his place, or maybe hanging out on some of the local hiking trails around the lake.

“Lenny, what are you thinking about?” Fletch asked me adoringly. I was jarred from my thoughts and I knew I couldn’t really tell him about what I was honestly thinking about: how to gently explain to him the previous night had been a mistake and we both needed to get over it and move on.

“Um… the party… I didn’t really look at the yard when we left or anything,” I frowned. “I hope it isn’t too big a mess. I mean, my parents aren’t completely dumb. They would see if Will’s yard was a mess or if the cops had been called next door or something and then put two and two together. I don’t want to get in trouble because Will decided to throw a stupid party…”

“Well, you could just tell your parents you weren’t involved because you were with me the whole time,” Fletch shrugged.

“Yeah, I don’t think being alone with a teenage boy for twenty-four hours straight would be better than my parents thinking I helped host an out of control party,” I replied. Fletch smiled, thinking over exactly what he knew my parents would assume we had been doing.

“I’m sure Will has the cleaning up handled,” Fletch said. “They won’t suspect a thing.”

“I really hope not,” I frowned.

“You wanna go by and check how it’s coming?” Fletch asked, seeming a little disheartened that I wanted to hang out with Will so soon. I mentally debated it back and forth, wondering what I should do.

“Maybe it would do Will some good to get caught,” I said. “I mean, we could just say we had nothing to do with it… Even though you sort of helped him start the whole thing…”

“Yeah, well do you really think Kristy would let me throw a party if our parents left?” Fletch snorted.

“Only if it was a science party,” I laughed.

“So, what do you want to do?” Fletch asked me, continuing to rub his thumb over my hand as if he had done so a thousand times before.

“I dunno,” I shrugged. “What is there really to do on a Sunday afternoon?”

“Not much,” Fletch admitted with a smile.

“Well, I guess your parents are still expecting you to be over at Will’s place after what they probably assumed was a late night of playing video games and drinking Code Red until you passed out from a sugar high…” I said thoughtfully. “and I don’t know how my parents would feel if they came home and found you lounging around our living room like you owned the place…”

“Yeah, that would be pretty bad,” Fletch conceded with a laugh.

“How about we just drive around for a while… figure out something to do…” I suggested.

“Okay, babe,” Fletch smiled at me. I tried not to balk at what he had called me as he called for the check, paid, and then led me out of the room, his hand in mine.