Slip Me That Love Potion, I Dare You, George Arthur Weasley

They drive me absolutely mad, completely and utterly mental, I tell you. I’ll be driven to the edge of the cliff of sanity, forced over by the endless piles of Skiving Snackboxes and Decoy Detonators. As if that weren’t enough, seeing as I’m their personal assistant or whatever name you prefer, I’m constantly being poked and prodded by other young, troublemaking students for some free Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes merchandise. Oh, I have a nice example of an incident that happened just this morning, actually.
It all started at breakfast in the Great Hall. The announcements had just ended, letting us all know we could finally eat. Damn I was starving. Fred and George were already stuffing their faces with bacon and eggs. I grabbed some rolls and orange juice, about to dig into what I knew would be an enjoyable breakfast, when I was tapped on the shoulder. With a sigh, I turned around, coming face to face with a short girl, Ravenclaw, her curly blonde hair pulled into a high ponytail. She couldn’t have been older than 13.
She was smiling at Fred, George and I in a way that told me she wanted something from us. The twins looked up, their mouths full of food. They swallowed in unison, and before I could shoo the girl away, they said simultaneously, ‘’how can we help you?’’
I was practically pushed off my seat as she squeezed between George and I, her ponytail hitting me in the face as she tried to explain to them her so called ‘’problem’’ at hand.
‘’Well, you see,’’ she began, letting out an overdramatic sigh, ‘’I’m only twelve,’’ I knew it, ‘’and I was wondering…if maybe…since I have no money…couldIgetafreelovepotion?’’ she said the last part rather fast. The twins and I looked at each other, blinking, a tad bit confused.
‘’Um…not to be rude or anything,’’ Fred started, ‘’but why the hell would you need a love potion?
‘’That’s for me to know, and for you to remain unknown,’’ she said matter-of-factly. I could’ve sworn I saw her wink at George.
‘’Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but I’m afraid we can’t do that,’’ I said, at least trying to sound sorry. What a second year would need a love potion for is beyond me. That is, unless the second year was trying to get Snape or someone of the likes to fall in love with them. In that case, I’d be highly concerned about their mental health.
‘’Oh,’’ she said solemnly, looking to my best friends for help. They shook their heads, confirming what I just said.
‘’Tell you what,’’ George chimed in, patting the girl on the back, ‘’we can give it to you for about 5 galleons. You can bring us the money whenever you get it.’’ That seemed to brighten her spirits.
‘’Brilliant, thanks!’’ she grinned, jumping up and skipping off to Ravenclaw’s table.
In the process of that, she’d knocked over my orange juice into my lap. While I focused on counting to ten and tried not to cast a full body-bind curse on blondie, the twins were laughing and high-fiving each other.
‘’I hate you both,’’ I muttered, casting a spell to dry off my clothes, and nibbled silently on my roll for the rest of breakfast. Fred was telling George about how he’d slipped Eric Lisfer, a cocky, snobby, 7th year Slytherin boy, four Puking Pastiles during last night’s dinner. Apparently, Madame Pomfrey in the infirmary was still trying to figure out how to get him to stop vomiting everywhere.
‘’What’s crawled into your panties?’’ George asked finally, realizing I hadn’t said anything for a good twenty minutes. Usually I’m like their triplet; loud, spontaneous, fun, that’s just me practically every day. But today I happened to be experiencing some excruciatingly painful cramps in my…er…lower region. But of course, I wasn’t about to announce this wonderful event to two immature sixteen year old boys.
They’d probably ask all sorts of disturbing questions, questions that I was most certainly not in the mood to answer at that particular moment. I just shrugged in response to George’s question. ‘’Stomach pains.’’ They left me alone after that, probably sensing that if they continued asking questions, both boys would wake up with none of that shoulder-length gingery hair that attracts girls to them like Hagrid to illegal, dangerous creatures.
So, that was a fairly interesting morning, I think. I silently did my own little victory dance; I’d just finished the last of my Transfiguration homework (three feet of it, mind you. You’d think McGonagall would cut us fellow Gryffindors a little slack) and now I was free to relax for the evening. I grabbed the warmest blanket I could find and wrapped it around myself, sitting down in front of the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room. I was exhausted from having to deal with my…problem, so I dozed off easily, completely deaf to everyone else who was busy coming and going.
Not too long after I’d dozed off, I found myself awake again, much to my displeasure. I opened my eyes slowly, only to find myself face-to-face with a small fluffy purple ball…with eyes…and legs…nubbly legs…I blinked a few times to make sure I hadn’t accidentally inhaled something toxic when I was asleep, but alas, I was pretty sure I hadn’t. The odd purple puffball jumped up and down like a rubber ball.
‘’It’s our newest invention-the Pygmy Puff!’’ The twins said together, coming out of nowhere, which naturally startled me, and I jumped a bit. Puffy squeaked and darted behind the couch I’d been leaning on.
I looked up at their amused faces with a raised eyebrow. ‘’It looks like a miniature Puffskein.’’
‘’Which is exactly what it is!’’ Fred grinned, bending down and picking up the Pygmy Puff, ‘’brilliant, eh?’’
I had to admit, it seemed pretty lovable and sweet looking, nuzzling Fred’s hand happily. ‘’It is brilliant. Can I hold it?’’
‘’But of course, my fair lady,’’ he replied, leaning down and placing the purple ball of fluff in my hands. I held it up level with my face, watching it roll around in my palms.
I think I’m in love.
‘’Just so you know,’’ I said, keeping my eyes glued to the Pygmy Puff, ‘’you’re not getting this one back.’’
‘’Figures,’’ George laughed, sitting next to me on the floor, Fred on my opposite side, ‘’which is why we’ve made a good twelve dozen more. Girls who have a soft spot for balls of fluff with eyes are going to end up buying these things in droves.’’
‘’Which reminds me,’’ Fred piped up, ‘’we need to hide them from Ginny.’’
Ginny, the youngest of the Weasley’s, was a third year Gryffindor, sporting the famous red Weasley hair like the rest of them. Out of the seven children Arthur and Molly Weasley had produced, she was the only girl. Honestly, I’m surprised the girl is still living, having these two for siblings. Merlin knows I would’ve checked into St. Mungo’s hospital a long time ago.
‘’Dear God,’’ George mumbled, petting the Pygmy Puff’s head, ‘’she’ll end up stealing them all and creating a shrine or something.’’ Fred and I stared at him as if he’d declared he wanted to marry Dumbledore. Even the Pigmy Puff had stopped jumping around to look at him, its small eyes staring at the twin curiously.
‘’What? It’s just a theory,’’ he defended, stretching his arms and stealing my blanket, wrapping himself in it like a cocoon.
‘’I need to name it,’’ I though aloud, looking down at my new pet who’d fallen asleep in my hands.
‘’You should call it Alec,’’ Fred inquired, yawning at the end of his sentence. Hm, I like that name.
‘’Alec the Pygmy Puff, it’s so cute, I said quietly, trying not to wake it. Eventually Fred got up, said goodnight, and headed to the boy’s dormitory. I looked over at George, who’d long since passed out, his head resting on my leg and snoring quietly.
I smiled, slowly pulling myself out from under him so he wouldn’t wake up. I pulled out my wand and pointed it at the sleeping George.
‘’Mobilicorpus,’’ I whispered, watching as his body started levitating, not disturbing his slumber. I aimed my wand towards the staircase that led to the boy’s dormitory, and off he went, floating up the stairs and hopefully into his bed. I waited for a few seconds, lowering my arm, and heading to bed, bringing Alec with me.
As odd as they may be sometimes, I wouldn’t trade those two for the sword of Gryffindor itself. And while I lay in bed that night, enclosed in my four-poster bed, I promised myself I’d always stick by Fred and George Weasley, no matter how many of their creations they’d want me to test out or how many scars I get resulting from them.
Despite my ongoing cramps I still felt, I fell asleep with a smile on my face that night.