I Hated You Yesterday

"What the hell?' I snapped, wasn't sure of myself where I was going with this. I slid off Kasper's lap and stormed into the bathroom, starting the shower. I needed something to relax my tense muscles.

What was I thinking...?

Kasper and me together? Impossible. He was one of the biggest players in our school, unlike Jayson, he used girls for flirting and lip service until he got bored. I refused simply to become another one of those girls.

Then again, Kasper was acting more.. sweet, or honest for a lack of a better description of his affection towards me. Life was a bitch, and I wished it wasn't so damn complicated.

I wanted to observe the world for a moment,and feel relieved that my problems weren't as bad compared to others. Too bad I couldn't; why couldn't I have a decent life? Jasey lived it, and I wanted it, there was envy every time I saw her. Her parents were happily still together as a family unlike mine, my family ties were severed in many places. She had a boyfriend, and the best guy she could have asked her. My older brother was top notch boyfriend material when he wanted a girl friend, he was a good hookup guy too according to all those skanks, but nonetheless my brother always cared for all his girl friends.

My love life on the other hand was on big jumbled and mushed together mess. Ugh.

The warm water helped my rigid muscles loosen up but it sped up my thought process. I cursed myself, chastised, scolded; why did it have to be Kasper? Why was it when I saw Kasper I couldn't help but to feel happy, or why his hugs made butterflies swarm into my stomach?

I. Couldn't. Ignore. It.

But I wanted to, and willed my self to; it was a lost cause.

I got out of the shower and changed into my clean outfit. It clung to my still damp skin, but I didn't care, I tackled my hair next, blow drying and brushing it out. When I was all set and done, makeup and all I braced myself for whatever Kasper might have decided to say.

I padded down the hall and into my room, a startled shock slipped passed my lips when I found Kasper sitting on my bed. He had my All Time Low hat on (which wasn't even technically mine, I stole it from Nate). He looked at me shyly, which was a surprise normally those ice blue eyes would have been challenging mine. Normally there would have been countless insults hurled at each other by now.

This wasn't like normal anymore. It was far from it.

"I'm sorry about everything," Kasper said, and smiled like a guilty child who stole a cookie.

"Go fall down a well," I muttered, and tossed my makeup bag onto my desk. I turned to leave, but felt two arms snake around my waist. "You moved way too fast."

"Princess, I'm really sorry. I like you, Princess, and that means your gonna have to deal with my childishness for a while now," Kasper said, his faced pressed to the top of my head, just resting in my hair. I sighed, why was he making this much more difficult.

The pheromones were enough from a distance, but now that he was standing right besides me, holding me in his warm secure embrace, it was completely muddling up my mind. This was Kasper for crying out loud.

And I liked this Kasper more than I should.

As much as I didn't want to and still tried to deny it after today I couldn't.

I liked Kasper Gates.

Oh joy.

"I wish you were more brains that good looks, and a smooth tongue, Kasper" I said, just standing still. My face emotionless, stoic, and just as monotone as my voice.

"I could let you feel my smooth tongue again," Kasper said, a teasing tone to his voice. I couldn't kicked him, should have. Instead I didn't but release a long exasperated sigh.

"I meant as in a smooth talker, you really don't think. My heart is all just a game to you isn't it?" So we barely were anything until a few days ago, but it already felt like months of this constant off and on shit. We were burning hot one moment and another simply plummeting cold.

"Princess, don't be this way," Kasper said, his warm breath tickling the back of my neck, causing the little wisps to stand.

"Then prove it to me Kasper, I'm not all just fun and games. Prove it that your actually capable of being in a relationship because I already went through this bullshit with Kyle, and I wish I would have backed out before I fell," I said, and pushed out of his arms. I faced him and met eye to eye. I crossed my arms, and slightly hugged myself. My life was really falling down before my eyes and I didn't want Kasper to cause anymore collateral damage.

His face turned serious, and his eyes gazed into mine. Then like something was turned on that had been off for a long time flickered in them. Brightening those blue blue eyes. Kasper flipped his hair out of his eyes, and he stared at me for a good moment. Instead of just reaching for mine, he offered an open palm, which I took with a sigh.

"Jamie Mills, I feel honestly inspired around you, and as uncomfortable this is for me to say, I want you to be my princess. I can't promise I won't hurt you, but you have to believe in me, I never want to," Kasper said, his tone a little to serious. I probably lose every right of masculinity I had just then, but no one else needs to know." He chuckled right then, and I was rendered speechless. I never knew Kasper was capable of feelings.

I smiled slightly, it wasn't even enough to be called a smile but it was beginning to rise like the chuckle growing in my throat. His blue eyes never left mine, but I could barely concentrate, my heart was pounding against my ribcage so hard it should have hurt.

"Jamie, will you please give me a chance?" Kasper said, and squeezed my hand gently. I parted my lips to speak but no words came out. I had to trust him on this one because besides the everyday bickering between us, he was always there to jump to my rescue just like Nate. I never realized it until now, and to be honest I felt kind of guilty. I always had accused Kasper of being the problem of everything wrong in my life, when he was really the person who would understand the most.

I really needed to get my bipolar feelings under a firm hand. Seriously Jamie.

"Sure," I said simply and smiled softly. Kasper beamed with a goofy smile, mirroring the same one Nate gives Jasey all the time. That genuine goofy smile, the real one.

"Sweet, now let's go catch that movie shall we?" Kasper caught me in a hug, a warm, cozy hug. I was falling harder and harder now, and I had completely pushed away my insecurities, doubts, and denials.

I trusted him on this one. I completely trusted him with my whole on this one.

What was wrong with me?

Nothing at all, I liked Kasper Gates, short and simple.