Status: brand new
Almost Easy
Number Twenty Three
Six Months Later..
Trying to close my eyes tightly and force the feeling of depression away from my body never seemed to work. I'd end up laying in my bathroom for hours crying trying to not wake up Isaiah.
Sad isn’t it? I went from top of the world, living in a big house with a fiancé and my baby to living in a tiny one bedroom apartment with my baby and a million stresses sitting on my shoulders. Life is not fair I guess yadda yadda yadda. I felt sorry for myself that’s about the gist of it.
Sitting on my small couch in my small living area I rocked gently, listening to the quiet voices on the TV and the sound of Isaiah suckling away on his bottle as his eyes slowly started to drupe, every now and then his blue orbs would open wide again and he would start to fuss, it was just past one and I still couldn’t get him to sleep. Jimmy used to help with this, he'd sing to him, and he'd be out faster than you could say 'broken'
Eventually I could hear soft snores coming from my arms, and I looked down to what could of been Jimmy's sleeping face in my arms, Isaiah's hair had started to lighten to a auburn colour and he'd began to get very tall for a one year old, but still had his baby features due to his long locks that I refused to cut.
Eventually his breathing became very even and heavy, I looked down and smiled at his peaceful features muttering a quick 'Finally' under my breath I took him into our room and laid him in the middle of the bed, pushing two pillows either side to stop him from rolling off. Silently as I could I went to the kitchen pulling out the bottle of Vodka I had brought home from work with me, I'd been working irregular hours at a local club to support myself, not something I was proud of.
Flicking through the channels I eventually fell on 'Anastasia' playing on one of the movie channels, I felt my features pull into a genuine grin as I snuggled more so into the couch, watching the characters of my favourite movie dance around the screen. I hummed to myself, getting an amazing feeling of joy as I remembered being 12 years old and watching it with my mother, brother and his friends who had all been piled into our living room keeping an eye on my mother.
'Journey to the Past' started and I squealed inwardly as I took a large gulp from my bottle, singing along with the music, hoping not to wake my son up but all at the same time feeling insanely close to my mother once again, strange how that works.
The movie progressed and as it did so I got more drunk, I leaned over and picked up the cordless home phone and dialling Matt's number excitedly. He picked up at the third ring sounding insanely tired and grumpy 'What?' He spat into the phone
'MATT!' I whispered loudly into the phone, before bursting into a fit of giggles 'You will never believe what movie is on right now!'
'Are you fucking drunk Kyler? Where is Isaiah?' He sounded more awake now, and it annoyed me that he didn’t answer my question, so I ignored his.
'Anastasia!' I cried happily, before long real tears were filling my eyes and I started to sob loudly 'I can’t do this anymore Matthew, I need him'
'Jesus Christ ' He muttered under his breath before sighing loudly 'You don't, now please go to bed Ky'
-
I don't remember going to bed, or the rest of the conversation that went on between Matt and myself. It was safe to say I was ashamed of how my life has turned out at only 21 years of age, most people were out partying and having a good time, not me, I was at home with a kid, not that I didn't love him dearly.
'Mamma?' Isaiah spoke as he sat up next to me in our bed 'Noms?'
I smiled widely at my little blue eyed boy and his messy hair that sat on his head in a birds nest 'Baby boy! You hungry? You know Mischief you're nearly a big 1 year old next week, can you say breakfast like a big boy?'
He shook his head before pointing a finger at me and squealing 'Noms' and throwing himself at me, making a thump when he landed on my chest, I quickly grabbed him and pretended to bite his little hands as he squealed and giggled.
My phone rang loudly on the bedside table and I gently pushed Mischief off before leaning over and picking it up 'Yes Michi?'
'Good morning my little Kyler, How're you?' Her loud voice came through the speakers making me wince a little and Mischief start speaking baby gibberish trying to obtain the phone out of my grasp at the sound of his aunt’s voice
'Alright I suppose, Mischief says hey' I paused putting the phone to his ear as he again started speaking baby talk for a minute, he loved the phone and he loved Michelle put those two things together and you have one happy toddler 'What can we do for you?'
'Bring my handsome little man and yourself around for a barbeque lunch and swimming in the pool'
Glancing to the clock on my left I noted it was 10am before I replied 'We'd love to! I'll just get him fed and dressed and around we shall come'
We said our goodbyes and hung up before I undressed the boy in front of me and carried him into the bathroom to run him a bath, which we both got in and mucked around with the bath toys as I casually washed him and then myself before pulling him out of the once warm water that was now only luke warm.
He grunted and whined about me putting clothes on his little body but eventually stopped and went with the flow. After dressing him I placed him on the floor and went to dress myself, putting on a white bikini I stopped and looked at myself in the full length mirror.
I was developing a little pot belly, and I groaned out loud at it 'Mamma looks hideous Is'
'Baby?' He wondered over pointing up at my belly with a crooked grin that showed a few small teeth
'What? Who taught you to say that?!' I nearly choked on my own saliva
'Dad dad dad' He mumbled as he spotted a toy on the floor and got distracted.
-
Walking up to the front door juggling a baby, and all the things that come along with that come along with him was an art form I had yet to master even after nearly a year of practice. I nearly let out a groan of relief when Syn pulled the door open with a grin on his face 'Ay fuckers!' He cried happily leaning forward to relieve me of some of the huge load in my arms.
'Man, what have I told you about swearing around him? He's starting to copy you guys!' I leaned forward with my now free hand and pinched his arm gently
'Yeah but what can ya do?' He winked and gestured for me to follow him into the house, the cool air inside was a welcome change to the sticky air outside as I walked in, Syn following behind singing about our arrival.
'Down!' Mischief demanded from my hip as he spotted Pinkly run past into the kitchen, laughing I placed him down on the floor and watched him run into the kitchen after the small fluffy dog.
A pair of tattooed arms staked around my upper body and Syn's voice spoke softly in my ear 'I know it’s hard for you right now to be around Jim, but he's my best friend Ky so I invited him...if you ever at all today find it uncomfortable you're welcome to use mine and Michi's room as an escape'
I smiled sadly and patted his arm, muttering thanks. Syn had always been good to me, since the first day I met him and for that alone I always gave him respect, unlike the other guys whom I made earn my respect.
Walking into the kitchen I was greeted with a sea of familiar faces and few unfamiliar ones but I gave them all my best grin, I noticed Isaiah had found Jimmy and was currently in his lap, but his blue eyes still watched Pinkly carefully. 'Hey guys' I waved as I put down all of the bags in my arms next to the fridge before Val engulfed me in a hug.
'Good to see you bitch!' She laughed pushing her now dark locks out of her eyes 'Finally you're being social! Hallelujah!'
'Shut up' Slapping her arm playfully I went around the room saying hello to everyone, even mustering a small smile at my ex who looked away, ass.
The boys soon filed out of the room to go play pool but left Isaiah, and an unfamiliar girl in the room in their wake. I sat at the counter and watched Michelle make a salad as we caught up, eventually I turned to the new girl with a smile and introduced myself 'Hi, I noticed everyone's rude and didn't introduce me, but I'm Kyler and that's Isaiah' I jerked my head in the direction he sat on the floor eating away at a carrot Michi had given him.
'I'm Leana, Jimmy's girlfriend' The minute those words fell out of her mouth everyone in the room's eyes were to me, Val bit her lip and Gena looked like she was going to say something but then thought better of it.
I stared at the tiny Latina in front of me, she was beautiful there is no denying that, but her sweet face just turned into something ugly to me 'Oh' I stated nodding to myself.
'WHO IS READY TO GO SWIMMING?' Lacey called loudly, I looked over to see her already stripped out of the shirt she had on to reveal the pink bikini underneath, I smiled at her thankfully before scooping Isaiah up and pulling his little shirt off before we followed behind.
Trying to close my eyes tightly and force the feeling of depression away from my body never seemed to work. I'd end up laying in my bathroom for hours crying trying to not wake up Isaiah.
Sad isn’t it? I went from top of the world, living in a big house with a fiancé and my baby to living in a tiny one bedroom apartment with my baby and a million stresses sitting on my shoulders. Life is not fair I guess yadda yadda yadda. I felt sorry for myself that’s about the gist of it.
Sitting on my small couch in my small living area I rocked gently, listening to the quiet voices on the TV and the sound of Isaiah suckling away on his bottle as his eyes slowly started to drupe, every now and then his blue orbs would open wide again and he would start to fuss, it was just past one and I still couldn’t get him to sleep. Jimmy used to help with this, he'd sing to him, and he'd be out faster than you could say 'broken'
Eventually I could hear soft snores coming from my arms, and I looked down to what could of been Jimmy's sleeping face in my arms, Isaiah's hair had started to lighten to a auburn colour and he'd began to get very tall for a one year old, but still had his baby features due to his long locks that I refused to cut.
Eventually his breathing became very even and heavy, I looked down and smiled at his peaceful features muttering a quick 'Finally' under my breath I took him into our room and laid him in the middle of the bed, pushing two pillows either side to stop him from rolling off. Silently as I could I went to the kitchen pulling out the bottle of Vodka I had brought home from work with me, I'd been working irregular hours at a local club to support myself, not something I was proud of.
Flicking through the channels I eventually fell on 'Anastasia' playing on one of the movie channels, I felt my features pull into a genuine grin as I snuggled more so into the couch, watching the characters of my favourite movie dance around the screen. I hummed to myself, getting an amazing feeling of joy as I remembered being 12 years old and watching it with my mother, brother and his friends who had all been piled into our living room keeping an eye on my mother.
'Journey to the Past' started and I squealed inwardly as I took a large gulp from my bottle, singing along with the music, hoping not to wake my son up but all at the same time feeling insanely close to my mother once again, strange how that works.
The movie progressed and as it did so I got more drunk, I leaned over and picked up the cordless home phone and dialling Matt's number excitedly. He picked up at the third ring sounding insanely tired and grumpy 'What?' He spat into the phone
'MATT!' I whispered loudly into the phone, before bursting into a fit of giggles 'You will never believe what movie is on right now!'
'Are you fucking drunk Kyler? Where is Isaiah?' He sounded more awake now, and it annoyed me that he didn’t answer my question, so I ignored his.
'Anastasia!' I cried happily, before long real tears were filling my eyes and I started to sob loudly 'I can’t do this anymore Matthew, I need him'
'Jesus Christ ' He muttered under his breath before sighing loudly 'You don't, now please go to bed Ky'
-
I don't remember going to bed, or the rest of the conversation that went on between Matt and myself. It was safe to say I was ashamed of how my life has turned out at only 21 years of age, most people were out partying and having a good time, not me, I was at home with a kid, not that I didn't love him dearly.
'Mamma?' Isaiah spoke as he sat up next to me in our bed 'Noms?'
I smiled widely at my little blue eyed boy and his messy hair that sat on his head in a birds nest 'Baby boy! You hungry? You know Mischief you're nearly a big 1 year old next week, can you say breakfast like a big boy?'
He shook his head before pointing a finger at me and squealing 'Noms' and throwing himself at me, making a thump when he landed on my chest, I quickly grabbed him and pretended to bite his little hands as he squealed and giggled.
My phone rang loudly on the bedside table and I gently pushed Mischief off before leaning over and picking it up 'Yes Michi?'
'Good morning my little Kyler, How're you?' Her loud voice came through the speakers making me wince a little and Mischief start speaking baby gibberish trying to obtain the phone out of my grasp at the sound of his aunt’s voice
'Alright I suppose, Mischief says hey' I paused putting the phone to his ear as he again started speaking baby talk for a minute, he loved the phone and he loved Michelle put those two things together and you have one happy toddler 'What can we do for you?'
'Bring my handsome little man and yourself around for a barbeque lunch and swimming in the pool'
Glancing to the clock on my left I noted it was 10am before I replied 'We'd love to! I'll just get him fed and dressed and around we shall come'
We said our goodbyes and hung up before I undressed the boy in front of me and carried him into the bathroom to run him a bath, which we both got in and mucked around with the bath toys as I casually washed him and then myself before pulling him out of the once warm water that was now only luke warm.
He grunted and whined about me putting clothes on his little body but eventually stopped and went with the flow. After dressing him I placed him on the floor and went to dress myself, putting on a white bikini I stopped and looked at myself in the full length mirror.
I was developing a little pot belly, and I groaned out loud at it 'Mamma looks hideous Is'
'Baby?' He wondered over pointing up at my belly with a crooked grin that showed a few small teeth
'What? Who taught you to say that?!' I nearly choked on my own saliva
'Dad dad dad' He mumbled as he spotted a toy on the floor and got distracted.
-
Walking up to the front door juggling a baby, and all the things that come along with that come along with him was an art form I had yet to master even after nearly a year of practice. I nearly let out a groan of relief when Syn pulled the door open with a grin on his face 'Ay fuckers!' He cried happily leaning forward to relieve me of some of the huge load in my arms.
'Man, what have I told you about swearing around him? He's starting to copy you guys!' I leaned forward with my now free hand and pinched his arm gently
'Yeah but what can ya do?' He winked and gestured for me to follow him into the house, the cool air inside was a welcome change to the sticky air outside as I walked in, Syn following behind singing about our arrival.
'Down!' Mischief demanded from my hip as he spotted Pinkly run past into the kitchen, laughing I placed him down on the floor and watched him run into the kitchen after the small fluffy dog.
A pair of tattooed arms staked around my upper body and Syn's voice spoke softly in my ear 'I know it’s hard for you right now to be around Jim, but he's my best friend Ky so I invited him...if you ever at all today find it uncomfortable you're welcome to use mine and Michi's room as an escape'
I smiled sadly and patted his arm, muttering thanks. Syn had always been good to me, since the first day I met him and for that alone I always gave him respect, unlike the other guys whom I made earn my respect.
Walking into the kitchen I was greeted with a sea of familiar faces and few unfamiliar ones but I gave them all my best grin, I noticed Isaiah had found Jimmy and was currently in his lap, but his blue eyes still watched Pinkly carefully. 'Hey guys' I waved as I put down all of the bags in my arms next to the fridge before Val engulfed me in a hug.
'Good to see you bitch!' She laughed pushing her now dark locks out of her eyes 'Finally you're being social! Hallelujah!'
'Shut up' Slapping her arm playfully I went around the room saying hello to everyone, even mustering a small smile at my ex who looked away, ass.
The boys soon filed out of the room to go play pool but left Isaiah, and an unfamiliar girl in the room in their wake. I sat at the counter and watched Michelle make a salad as we caught up, eventually I turned to the new girl with a smile and introduced myself 'Hi, I noticed everyone's rude and didn't introduce me, but I'm Kyler and that's Isaiah' I jerked my head in the direction he sat on the floor eating away at a carrot Michi had given him.
'I'm Leana, Jimmy's girlfriend' The minute those words fell out of her mouth everyone in the room's eyes were to me, Val bit her lip and Gena looked like she was going to say something but then thought better of it.
I stared at the tiny Latina in front of me, she was beautiful there is no denying that, but her sweet face just turned into something ugly to me 'Oh' I stated nodding to myself.
'WHO IS READY TO GO SWIMMING?' Lacey called loudly, I looked over to see her already stripped out of the shirt she had on to reveal the pink bikini underneath, I smiled at her thankfully before scooping Isaiah up and pulling his little shirt off before we followed behind.