Almost Easy

I ran as fast as I could manage through a Forrest, the trees large and think around me as it felt the darkness was closing in quickly around the small circle of light that seemed to shine through the trees, moving with me. Loolong behind I couldn't see exactly was I was running from but with every backward glance I felt cold and loneliness approaching.

And just as quick as the scene had been in my head it all changed, I was seventeen again laying in Jim's arms, breathing in his scent and absorbing his warmness an listening to him breathe. The feeling of anxiousness had been subdued, I was safe and protected where I was right now. The fears had all been erased.

I glanced up hoping to see those blue eyes and that smile that would again show me that I really was safe but his face wasn't Jimmy's, it was that of a monster and before I could let out a noise the dream was ripped from me

My eyes shot opened, my breath came in pants as I glanced around the empty bedroom, my instinct making me slightly frantic when I noticed Mischief was not beside me, before my mind reminded me he was with Jimmy. The thought of my former lover filled my chest with a sharp pain, I curled myself up into a ball trying to rid myself pf the aching in my chest as my eyes started to fill with tears and I felt defenseless and alone.

The dreams had become a regular occurrence for myself lately, places and happier times always filled them before they were eventually rippe from my grasp and I was left aching for what had once been my life, and my haven.

Reaching for my cell phone on the nightstand I opened a blank message and stared into the bright lift being projected from the tiny screen as I addressed the message to Jimmy but couldn't bring myself to write how I felt and how much I missed him. A sign of weakness.

Every night I cry and feel like I die a little bit more inside, memories being my only friends. I felt weak and alone, I didn't want to bring up to any of the girls or guys how much so it really did hurt me just because I felt maybe they'd see me in a different light.

Straining my eyes I managed to will my fingers to type the text but they wouldn't, with one final sigh I threw my phone off the bed and buried my head into the duvet.

I needed a plan.