Almost Easy

'I need a man' I announced as I lazed back on my brother's couch staring intently at Val who sat on the other side of the room with a laptop placed on her lap, she raised her eyebrows and then went back to what she was doing...I took this opportunity to continue speaking 'I need a boy...a hunny...a human with a pe-'

'Shush' She scolded her eyebrows laced together in a frown before she started chuckling 'So tell me young Kyler, why is it that you all the sudden need a man? I thought we were still doing the silently heartbroken waiting for that bitch to go away so I can get my soul mate back plan?'

'It's clearly not working Valary' I snapped back at her, the mention of Leana making my skin crawl with anger 'I need a new plan of attack...'

Again Val looked up from the laptop with a confused look on her face 'With what aim?'

I stared at her as she went back to doing whatever it was she was doing on her computer, she wasn't fully listening to what we were talking about and it was starting to get irritating, I needed her to help me. I threw my legs over the back of the white leather couch and sat like that with my head hanging off the side feeling all the blood rush to my head as I let out a dramatic sigh 'The same end result as before, but I don't want to feel so miserable and look desperate and like I cant live a good happy life on my own...I feel like a fool' I mumbled the last bit looking down at the chipped blue nail polish on my right hand.

'You seem weirdly happy and upbeat today...are you high or something? I haven't seen you so not depressed for so long...I'm kind of worried, should I be worried? Have you been drinking? Please don't tell me you drank and then drove here...Oh my god! You are just like your brother! Kyler! What is wrong with you!?' All of this tumbled from Val's mouth in about a tenth of a second and I was left sitting there giving her a look of utter disgust.

'Valary...really? I'm trying to find a way to pull myself from this ache that's in my heart and you accuse me of being on something, what the actual of fucks? I'm trying to fix myself...were you even listening to me at all?!' I sat up quickly placing a hand on my hip, but the blood that had pooled in my head made my head spin and I fell forward onto the coffee table smacking my eye as I did so 'Oh great' I muttered.

I sat up and looked towards my sister in law once again and she started giggling loudly 'You have a real nice little black eye forming, and I was listening I just cant work out this change of heart my dear'

'Now I'm gonna look 20x more bad ass' I winked but my tone changed when I went back to my situation 'I want to pretend to be happy, so maybe he might just...I dont know...I at least want to try and be happy for my baby'

She smiled sympathetically, but then her face brightened again 'Hey what about like...we just start dressing you super attractive, bring out the old Kyler'

My mind pondered this for a second before I nodded vigorously 'Fuck yeah! that could work!'

'I know. So get your shit, lets go to the mall'

-

We quickly piled into my car, I fiddled with the radio for a while waiting for it to show me a station that caught my fancy, I settled with some pop song and put my foot on the gas and we sped off in the direction of the mall. After a ten minute drive we arrive, and I abruptly swung my car into the first parking spot I saw, screeching to a halt. I pulled the key out before I eventually turned to look at Val, her face was pale and she was glaring through the dark shades on her face 'You will kill me one day' was all she said before she threw herself from my car, shutting the door loudly behind her.

'I AM A GREAT DRIVER!' I cried loudly before following her lead into the large sliding glass doors that led into the mall, I glanced around at the busy shopping center, giving it a once over before I spoke again 'Where too first master?'

'You need some day time outfits...so we need to go there!' She pointed at some boutique, I wasn't even sure what was in there but shrugged and followed the little blonds lead through the front of the shop.

She picked out a few pairs of ridiculously tight jeans, just my kind of jeans. Those types of jeans that hug your curves and look unbelievably good, I grinned in approval as she held up a pair of black skinny jean's with rips all up the legs, and she quickly threw them over her arm.

A hour or so later we had gathered a large amount of clothing and accessories, and a few pairs of shoes. I'd spent way more then I should of and I felt slightly guilty, but on second thought I hadn't brought anything for myself in a very long time...maybe I deserved it...does this make me a bad mother? I don't know.

I watched as Val quickly ushered me into the change rooms with my few bags filled with my new things, and she shoved me in and threw the white crop top with a skull print on the front at my chest 'Get changed, we gotta stop by and pick the baby up on the way home...You need to look good'

I shrugged, shimmying into the new jeans and the shirt, before sliding on the black high tops we had brought, and adding the few accessories. I glanced in the mirror and smirked at my reflection.

I hadn't looked my age like this in a while, I always forgot I was only 20...well very nearly 21, but I looked it now. My body had gone back to its natural slender form not too long after Isaiah had started crawling. My skin had a soft brown glow to it from spending a lot of time outside, and my hair sat in lose waves on my shoulders. I felt good for the first time in a long time.

'Lets go'

-

I knocked on the door with a quick three taps, and then stood back from the large wooden door. My eyes caught light of something glimmering from one of the pot plants that sat next to the door, I lent closer and noticed a beer bottle stashed under the leaves of the plant. I shook my head standing back up straight and waiting patiently for a couple more seconds before I gave up and booted the door as hard I could before twisting the handle and letting myself in.

'Tha' fuck is your door not locked for?!' I spoke loudly before I shut it, listening for a second before setting off in the direction of the living room which seemed to be the source of the quiet sounds of the TV. The scene I found was the cutest thing I think I've ever seen in my 20 years of life, Jimmy lay on the couch his eyes closed and mouth slightly ajar, with Mischief laid on his chest snoring lightly.

I wanted to kick my shoes off and sit on the other couch and wait till they woke up, but I had Val sitting in the car waiting and she'd kick my ass if I left her there any longer than needed. So with a heavy heart I made my way towards them, my heart clenching up as I got close enough to get a waft of Jim's Cologne, I stopped for a second squeezing my eyes shut muttering to myself 'I can do this, I'm strong...'

I reached out and let my hand caress Jimmy's sleeping face, I smiled sadly before bringing my hand down gently and slapping him 'Wake up!'

'I'm awake!' He sat up quickly with one arm around Isaiah's sleeping form, he glanced around for a minute before stopping to look at me, glancing me up and down raising his eyebrows before he spoke 'Oh its you...'

'Nice to see you too James' I muttered quietly all of my confidence had escaped and I suddenly felt tiny again 'Hand me the child so I can let you be'

His blue eyes faltered for a second, I couldn't work out the emotion behind it but I shook it off quickly...my brain must just be being silly. He stood up and slipped my little boy into my waiting arms, I shifted him so he was laying with his head against my shoulder and his legs were around my hips, before I grabbed his overnight bag from the floor. 'Is that a black eye?!' Jimmy exclaimed reaching out to touch it, I winced slightly as his finger came into contact with it 'Who roughed you up Sanders?'

'...I fell and hit my head on the coffee table' I quickly put my head down embarrassed of my own clumsiness, before making my way towards the door 'Thanks for having him'

'He is half mine too you know?' He paused for a second before starting to talk again 'Do I not get a goodbye?'

I shook my head before moving forward and into his open arms, I scrunched my face up as that familiar smell grew stronger, the scent of his skin filling my head and ripping at my heart, his long arms clasped around my hips and he held tightly for a few moments, in that few moments I felt like my stomach was trying to climb up out of my throat and my body started to ache again, I knew I needed to pull away but I couldn't bring myself to make the first move. I swear I felt his lips on top of my hair but the minute I thought I felt it, they were gone again.

'I think we need to spend some time together, as a family...' He spoke quietly and moved back slightly, my bodies automatic response was to move closer, but I resisted.

'S-sure' I stuttered, I instantly scolded myself biting my tongue.

His hands rested on my hips a little longer than necessary before he removed them and took two steps back 'Cool, I'll come over tomorrow night'

I nodded quickly, stumbling slightly as I rushed to get out the door.