Never Letting Go

Taking a walk, Phoebe needed time to herself. She had left with Michelle to help her pack the rest of her stuff up and send back to Pittsburgh. After her talk with Deryk, she didn't have too much time to really think about what she and Deryk had discussed about their future. She knew that sometimes change could be good, she saw how happy Michelle was with how her life with Kris was moving into another direction, but that wasn't what she wanted. More than anything she wanted things to stay how they had been.

Letting out a long sigh, Phoebe kept walking along the chain link fence with her fingers running across the chains. Knowing that she had to make a decision about something so important, it made for sleepless nights. Sleeping in Michelle's former guest room while she was up most of the night packing her small things away, Phoebe found no rest.

Noticing the sun was starting to set, which meant Michelle would be back from Staples Center soon, Phoebe turned back around and was surprised to see the man that plagued her thoughts every day he had left her apartment. “Deryk...”

“Chelle said I could find you here.”

“I went for a walk, I was just heading back to Chelle's place.”

“Her and Tanger are showing Clifford around the place and showing him what is staying and what not. I wanted to talk to you.”

“You did?” Phoebe asked, looking into his eyes.

“I miss you Phoebe.”

“I've missed you too,” she said running a hand through her hair. “I didn't expect to see you here.”

“I know and I thought about calling, but I didn't want to take the chance that you wouldn't answer the phone. After all, you did leave and didn't tell anyone.”

“I thought Kris told me that Chelle needed help getting of the last of the apartment packed and ready for it to be moved. Well shipped to Pittsburgh after the holidays.”

“He loves her, ya know?” Deryk said. “He can't wait for that baby to come and I don't blame him.”

“I'm not the same girl as Chelle and I never will be. We are two different people and yeah, we are friends, but that's it. I love her like she's my sister, but we are very different.”

“I know,” Deryk said, giving a shy smile. “Do you think they'll get married?”

“Tanger and Chelle?” Phoebe asked as she looked at him. “I do. Maybe right away or they just might wait until they feel it to be right.”

“So have you thought about what we talked about?”

“Only everyday since we started talking about it. Deryk, I tried my best not to fall in love with you. I really did because I didn't want to take the chance that you would be just like...”

“Pheebs....” Deryk sighed as he cupped her face into his hands. “I'm not your ex and I will never be him. I can see how amazing you are and I know how lucky I am that you even gave me a chance.”

“I don't want you to think-”

“Think what?” Deryk asked, curiously with a bit of a laugh. “That you want me for my money? If that were so, you'd be living with me already and you would have said yes to when I asked you to marry me the first time.”

“I'm not ready for that kind of commitment and if you want me to be totally honest, I don't know if I ever will be. I love you, but I'm not the wife type. That's what Chelle wants and it fits her personality, but not me. I'll be happy to be Aunt Pheebs, but I don't think I even want to have my own kids.”

“Do you still want me?”

“Deryk, you could get traded to some other team and I will always love you.”

“Even the Flyers?”

“I won't move there until hockey season is over and then we can go see some Phillies games, but you know as well as I do that the Penguins are the team in my heart. Can you live with knowing that?” Phoebe asked, placing her hands over his that were still on her face.

“I think we can work out just fine if I stop thinking that our relationship should be like Tanger's relationship with Chelle. It just isn't the same,” Deryk said. “And I don't think I would want it to be either.”

Phoebe smiled at him as he kissed her forehead. “Maybe one day marriage could be an option. But not now, not anytime soon.”

“I agree.”

“And you better hope you don't go to the Flyers, because you know I won't put that jersey on.”

“I actually prefer you without a jersey on.”

“Do you now?” Phoebe smiled as he dropped his hands from her face.

“I do,” Deryk smiled. “I love when you wear nothing at all. Especially at my apartment.”

“You mean like the time where you hid my clothes after we had sex and I was asleep?”

“It didn't seem to bother you then.”

Wrapping her arms around his neck, Phoebe looked up at him with a smile that she couldn't wipe off her face. Deryk's hands were on her back as she leaned up and kissed him. It was just like every other kiss she had shared with him. Kissing Deryk left nothing to the imagination, you could tell exactly what it was that he wanted by kissing him and Phoebe loved every minute of it. As he broke the kiss, she looked at him knowing what she wanted to tell him.

“I think we should go in a different direction with our relationship.”

Biting down on her lip as she let her words sink into his head, but as he went to ask her what she had meant, she placed her fingers over his lips. “I think I want to take you up on that offer you made right at Chelle's birthday party right before Halloween. We should move in together and see how everything goes.”

“It will be amazing,” Deryk told her, smiling as he placed a kiss on her neck. “I know it.”

“How do you know it won't coming crashing down around us and we end up splitting and I have to go live with Tanger and Chelle because I am so heart broken that I can't look at you?”

“That will never happen.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I'm never letting go.”

No more words were needed. Phoebe leaned back up and kissed him again, like she had never been kissed before.