We Stitch These Wounds
We Stitch These Wounds
I really did try to forget what had been done. I loved him so much, and to tell you the truth I still did. About a week ago, through sources that will remain unnamed I found out that my "perfect" boyfriend, had been a little less then perfect.
He swore he'd never hurt me. He promised me, he told me that he loved me. Then he cheated on me. With some guy at one of our concerts. He had been talking with this fan, who couldn't have been older then 18 and at first I didn't think anything of it. Ashley has a reputation of being a bit of a flirt.
To tell the truth the boy did make me jealous. He was gorgeous. Beautiful emerald green eyes that sparkled in the light, shoulder length honey blond hair that cut across his pale face. Thin pink lips that bore a set of silver snake bites, and a nice little body as well.
YOU KISS THE LIPS OF EVIL
Without my knowledge apparently when we were cleaning up the venue he had taken the boy back to our bus and had sex with him in the back. Sure I noticed that Ashley wasn't there, but I mean he's lazy and usually skips out on clean up duty. So I figured he had retreated to the bus to hide and catch up on some much needed sleep.
TWO MONTHS IT'S ALL THE SAME
Was I not good enough for him? Was I not pretty enough for him? Was I getting to fat? I looked at my reflection in the mirror. My black hair fell past my skinny shoulders and my blue eyes were stained with tears. I lifted my thin black shirt, that hid my exposed ribs.
I BEG FOR THIS MAN'S APPROVAL
Why would he do this to me? I had tried to forget and forgive. To put it past us, as just a minor slip in our relationship. But at last I couldn't. Every time I touched him, I remembered what he had done.
PRAY TO DIE IN VAIN
Tonight would be especially hard. Normally we all slept in one room. CC on the pull out, Jinxx and Jake on one bed and Ashley and I on the other. But tonight we got two rooms. Something about reward cards for staying in the same branch of hotels our tour manager Jon had said. Jinxx, Jake and CC took one room, which left me and Ashley to the other.
SIT DOWN WITH THOUGHTS ALONE NOW
I walked out of the hotel bathroom into the dark bedroom area. In the middle of the king bed sat Ashley, his soft face lite up by the glow of his phone. I took a deep breath, before sitting down at the end of the bed.
WITH BLOOD THESE LYRICS CAME
I looked at my wrist. Fresh rubby red cuts lined them. I hadn't cut in over two years, but once I had heard about what HE did to me, I couldn't stay strong. I pulled my long sleeves over them hiding my shame.
YOUR WORDS COULD EAT RIGHT THROUGH ME
"What are you moping about?" he commented, not looking up from his phone. He had been bitter lately. Was he even committed to saving this relationship anymore?
DEAD COULD HEAR MY SHAME
"Nothing, you'd care about" I said coldly back.
"Try me" he replied setting his phone down on the bed side table.
THOSE TEARS WE'VE CRIED
"I think you know why"
"Not this again" he groaned.
"What do you mean not this again?"
THIS LOVE HAS DIED
"I mean I thought you got over this, I told you I messed up, I'm sorry"
"Ashley how could you cheat on me?"
"It was an accident"
"Really?"
"Yes, he was coming on to me, and I was drunk, I wasn't thinking"
YOU'RE BY YOURSELF WITH ME TONIGHT
There was no one else in the room but me and him. I couldn't get out of talking to him, nor could he to me.
"I thought you loved me" I sobbed, letting the tears fall.
"Baby, I do love you"
IT'S WHAT WE HIDE WITH EVERY LIE
"Then why didn't you tell me right away?"
"Because I didn't want you to be mad at me!"
"So you'd rather me find out from Jake in the middle of a restaurant when he was drunk?"
I remembered the incident. We had decided to go out to this bar/restaurant a week ago. It was actually quite nice. But knowing Jake he'd had a little too many. I don't know how the subject came up. But I think it had something to do with the way Jinxx was looking at the waitress.
"Dude, you have a girlfriend" Ashley commented.
"That didn't stop you" Jake had slurred. My heart skipped a beat, hoping he was just being stupid. But the look on Ashley's face said it all.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Well Andy..."
"Jake shut your mouth"
"No, Ashley I want to hear what he has to say"
"Well, you remember that dude Ashley was talking to at the concert, yeah man he may be with you but that didn't stop him from ramming that kid into the mattress" he said smiling. My mouth hung open in disbelief.
"Andy please" Ashley called as I stormed out of the restaurant, humiliated, for Jake was a rather loud person even sober.
AND STITCH THESE WOUNDS WITH ME TONIGHT
"Andy?" Ashley asked, snapping me out of my flash back.
"What?"
"You know I love you"
"Do I?"
I THINK OF IT EVERY TIME I TOUCH YOU
He put a hand on my shoulder.
"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!" I screamed at him.
"What are talking about?"
"Don't touch me with the same hand you touched him with"
OR EVERY TIME I HEAR HIS NAME
"Andy, baby please don't do this" he begged. I felt my world falling apart again. I loved him, I really did. Call me stupid for loving someone who could cheat on me, then lie to my face about it. But I can't help it.
THESE WALLS WILL NEVER CRUMBLE
"Ashley, how could you?"
"Baby listen to me" he said backing me up against the wall. With a hand on either side of me, I couldn't get away. I looked into his eyes which were filled with sincerity and remorse.
"You don't know how seeing you like this kills, me when I think of what I put you through I want to kill myself"
HERE'S OUR CAUSE TO BLAME
"Then why did you?"
"Cause I wasn't thinking" he repeated.
"To think that I hurt someone I loved so much, and so beautiful"
"I still can't believe you haven't left me"
SIT DOWN WITH THOUGHTS ALONE NOW
His eyes begged me, but I couldn't bring myself to say that it was okay, and that I forgave him. I was still to hurt, the wounds were still gaping and I was losing blood fast. My needle and thread had betrayed me.
WITH BLOOD THESE LYRICS CAME
"I'm. So. Sorry"
YOU'RE WORDS COULD EAT RIGHT THROUGH ME
"I know, and I'm sorry too"
"For what?"
"For loving you, for trusting you, for believing those lies"
"THEY WEREN'T LIES!"
DEAD COULD HEAR MY SHAME
"Do you not know, that I've never loved anyone, but you" his bottom lip quivered.
THOSE TEARS WE CRIED
Ashley never cried. Ever. In all the years I'd known him he'd never cried, not even at funerals. Unlike me he was strong. But tonight was different. He lowered his head and I saw a single tear slid down his cheek.
THIS LOVE HAS DIED
I was shocked at first. Was he really crying? But he was, he was crying for me. I took a pale finger and whipped the single tears away. His glassy eyes looked up at me.
YOU'RE BY YOURSELF WITH ME TONIGHT
"Please forgive me" he whispered.
IT'S WHAT WE HIDE WITH EVERY LIE AND STITCH THESE WOUNDS WITH ME TONIGHT
I don't know if it was the right thing to do, but I still did it. I brought our lips together, and let myself fall apart in his strong arms.
"I forgive you" I sobbed.
"I forgive you"
LIAR, LIAR, LIAR!!
"Baby I love you so much" he said kissing the top of my head. I just clung to his shirt and listen to his heart beat.
THOSE TEARS WE CRIED THIS LOVE HAS DIED
"I love you too"
YOU'RE BY YOURSELF WITH ME TONIGHT, IT'S WHAT WE HIDE WITH EVERY LIE
Our relationship we flawed I know, but the result was still the same, two people who really and truly did love each other.
AND STITCH THESE WOUNDS WITH ME TONIGHT
We both knew that this wasn't over, the process of healing was just beginning. But stitch by stitch we'd stitch these wounds. One thing was clear though, we'd stitch them together.
LIAR LIAR LIAR
SAY GOOD BYE!!!!
He swore he'd never hurt me. He promised me, he told me that he loved me. Then he cheated on me. With some guy at one of our concerts. He had been talking with this fan, who couldn't have been older then 18 and at first I didn't think anything of it. Ashley has a reputation of being a bit of a flirt.
To tell the truth the boy did make me jealous. He was gorgeous. Beautiful emerald green eyes that sparkled in the light, shoulder length honey blond hair that cut across his pale face. Thin pink lips that bore a set of silver snake bites, and a nice little body as well.
YOU KISS THE LIPS OF EVIL
Without my knowledge apparently when we were cleaning up the venue he had taken the boy back to our bus and had sex with him in the back. Sure I noticed that Ashley wasn't there, but I mean he's lazy and usually skips out on clean up duty. So I figured he had retreated to the bus to hide and catch up on some much needed sleep.
TWO MONTHS IT'S ALL THE SAME
Was I not good enough for him? Was I not pretty enough for him? Was I getting to fat? I looked at my reflection in the mirror. My black hair fell past my skinny shoulders and my blue eyes were stained with tears. I lifted my thin black shirt, that hid my exposed ribs.
I BEG FOR THIS MAN'S APPROVAL
Why would he do this to me? I had tried to forget and forgive. To put it past us, as just a minor slip in our relationship. But at last I couldn't. Every time I touched him, I remembered what he had done.
PRAY TO DIE IN VAIN
Tonight would be especially hard. Normally we all slept in one room. CC on the pull out, Jinxx and Jake on one bed and Ashley and I on the other. But tonight we got two rooms. Something about reward cards for staying in the same branch of hotels our tour manager Jon had said. Jinxx, Jake and CC took one room, which left me and Ashley to the other.
SIT DOWN WITH THOUGHTS ALONE NOW
I walked out of the hotel bathroom into the dark bedroom area. In the middle of the king bed sat Ashley, his soft face lite up by the glow of his phone. I took a deep breath, before sitting down at the end of the bed.
WITH BLOOD THESE LYRICS CAME
I looked at my wrist. Fresh rubby red cuts lined them. I hadn't cut in over two years, but once I had heard about what HE did to me, I couldn't stay strong. I pulled my long sleeves over them hiding my shame.
YOUR WORDS COULD EAT RIGHT THROUGH ME
"What are you moping about?" he commented, not looking up from his phone. He had been bitter lately. Was he even committed to saving this relationship anymore?
DEAD COULD HEAR MY SHAME
"Nothing, you'd care about" I said coldly back.
"Try me" he replied setting his phone down on the bed side table.
THOSE TEARS WE'VE CRIED
"I think you know why"
"Not this again" he groaned.
"What do you mean not this again?"
THIS LOVE HAS DIED
"I mean I thought you got over this, I told you I messed up, I'm sorry"
"Ashley how could you cheat on me?"
"It was an accident"
"Really?"
"Yes, he was coming on to me, and I was drunk, I wasn't thinking"
YOU'RE BY YOURSELF WITH ME TONIGHT
There was no one else in the room but me and him. I couldn't get out of talking to him, nor could he to me.
"I thought you loved me" I sobbed, letting the tears fall.
"Baby, I do love you"
IT'S WHAT WE HIDE WITH EVERY LIE
"Then why didn't you tell me right away?"
"Because I didn't want you to be mad at me!"
"So you'd rather me find out from Jake in the middle of a restaurant when he was drunk?"
I remembered the incident. We had decided to go out to this bar/restaurant a week ago. It was actually quite nice. But knowing Jake he'd had a little too many. I don't know how the subject came up. But I think it had something to do with the way Jinxx was looking at the waitress.
"Dude, you have a girlfriend" Ashley commented.
"That didn't stop you" Jake had slurred. My heart skipped a beat, hoping he was just being stupid. But the look on Ashley's face said it all.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Well Andy..."
"Jake shut your mouth"
"No, Ashley I want to hear what he has to say"
"Well, you remember that dude Ashley was talking to at the concert, yeah man he may be with you but that didn't stop him from ramming that kid into the mattress" he said smiling. My mouth hung open in disbelief.
"Andy please" Ashley called as I stormed out of the restaurant, humiliated, for Jake was a rather loud person even sober.
AND STITCH THESE WOUNDS WITH ME TONIGHT
"Andy?" Ashley asked, snapping me out of my flash back.
"What?"
"You know I love you"
"Do I?"
I THINK OF IT EVERY TIME I TOUCH YOU
He put a hand on my shoulder.
"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!" I screamed at him.
"What are talking about?"
"Don't touch me with the same hand you touched him with"
OR EVERY TIME I HEAR HIS NAME
"Andy, baby please don't do this" he begged. I felt my world falling apart again. I loved him, I really did. Call me stupid for loving someone who could cheat on me, then lie to my face about it. But I can't help it.
THESE WALLS WILL NEVER CRUMBLE
"Ashley, how could you?"
"Baby listen to me" he said backing me up against the wall. With a hand on either side of me, I couldn't get away. I looked into his eyes which were filled with sincerity and remorse.
"You don't know how seeing you like this kills, me when I think of what I put you through I want to kill myself"
HERE'S OUR CAUSE TO BLAME
"Then why did you?"
"Cause I wasn't thinking" he repeated.
"To think that I hurt someone I loved so much, and so beautiful"
"I still can't believe you haven't left me"
SIT DOWN WITH THOUGHTS ALONE NOW
His eyes begged me, but I couldn't bring myself to say that it was okay, and that I forgave him. I was still to hurt, the wounds were still gaping and I was losing blood fast. My needle and thread had betrayed me.
WITH BLOOD THESE LYRICS CAME
"I'm. So. Sorry"
YOU'RE WORDS COULD EAT RIGHT THROUGH ME
"I know, and I'm sorry too"
"For what?"
"For loving you, for trusting you, for believing those lies"
"THEY WEREN'T LIES!"
DEAD COULD HEAR MY SHAME
"Do you not know, that I've never loved anyone, but you" his bottom lip quivered.
THOSE TEARS WE CRIED
Ashley never cried. Ever. In all the years I'd known him he'd never cried, not even at funerals. Unlike me he was strong. But tonight was different. He lowered his head and I saw a single tear slid down his cheek.
THIS LOVE HAS DIED
I was shocked at first. Was he really crying? But he was, he was crying for me. I took a pale finger and whipped the single tears away. His glassy eyes looked up at me.
YOU'RE BY YOURSELF WITH ME TONIGHT
"Please forgive me" he whispered.
IT'S WHAT WE HIDE WITH EVERY LIE AND STITCH THESE WOUNDS WITH ME TONIGHT
I don't know if it was the right thing to do, but I still did it. I brought our lips together, and let myself fall apart in his strong arms.
"I forgive you" I sobbed.
"I forgive you"
LIAR, LIAR, LIAR!!
"Baby I love you so much" he said kissing the top of my head. I just clung to his shirt and listen to his heart beat.
THOSE TEARS WE CRIED THIS LOVE HAS DIED
"I love you too"
YOU'RE BY YOURSELF WITH ME TONIGHT, IT'S WHAT WE HIDE WITH EVERY LIE
Our relationship we flawed I know, but the result was still the same, two people who really and truly did love each other.
AND STITCH THESE WOUNDS WITH ME TONIGHT
We both knew that this wasn't over, the process of healing was just beginning. But stitch by stitch we'd stitch these wounds. One thing was clear though, we'd stitch them together.
LIAR LIAR LIAR
SAY GOOD BYE!!!!