Knives and Pens
Knives And Pens
ALONE AT LAST WE CAN SIT AND FIGHT
Their calls haunted my thoughts and terrorized my brain. The relentless teasing that I endured all through out my school years, was now back. They always ask what's the price of fame? This is. After I dropped out of high school I surrounded myself with only people who were like me, or at least understood me.
Fame though has earned me a new place in the hell that I once thought I had gotten out of. I built this band, to show others the same home I found. And now the very walls of that kingdom were being threaten to be torn down.
AND I'VE LOST ALL FATE IN THIS BLURRY LIGHT
Humanity it's self is very cruel, constantly bring others down. I always asked my mom, why was I born this way? I was everything you could hate. I looked and dressed different, had long hair, was in a 'screamo' band, never the proper weight, an atheist (I had lost all faith in god many years ago) and to top it all off gay.
"Faggot!"
"Emo!"
"Freak!" the calls pounded my brain as I walked along the sidewalk by our venue. I couldn't break down, and I couldn't cry. I had to fight back.
STAY RIGHT HERE WE CAN CHANGE OUR PLIGHT
The only thing I had control over was myself, and I was begging to lose that. I clenched my fist and closed my eyes.
'Don't let them break you down Andy' I reminded myself. Fuck that.
STORMING THROUGH THIS DESPITE WHAT'S RIGHT
One of the boys was now standing in my face blocking my way. He was about my height, but I'd say 50 lbs. larger. He bore a shaved head with a camouflage hat with the John Deer logo on it. Complete with a matching camo jumpsuit. Typical small town red neck.
"Hey fag I'm talking to you"
"Get. Out. Of. My. Face. Now." I said through clenched teeth. He pushed my frail body up against the building.
ONE FINAL FIGHT FOR THIS TONIGHT
"Touch me one more fucking time!"
"Ohhhh, looks like someone's being a bitch today, what's wrong get fucked up the ass to much?"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I screamed punching him square in the nose.
WHOA WHOA WHOA WITH KNIVES AND PENS....
He backed up blood dripping from his broken nose.
"I told you to leave me alone" His buddies all started to back up and finally broke into a run. I smiled at that.
WE'VE MADE OUR PLIGHT
My knuckles were red with blood. I may have won the fight but he'd won the war. His words repeated themselves in my head, like a broken record. I dropped the cigarette that I didn't even light and walked back to the tour bus.
LAY YOUR HEART DOWN THE ENDS IN SIGHT
No one was in the bus, no doubt getting the stage ready for tonight's show. I made my way to the small bathroom in the back and locked the door. The cracked mirror showed the reflection of the broken being I'd become.
"AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" I screamed as loud as I could. I hated that I did it. I know it's bad, but it's the only thing I could do. I opened my eyes looking at the man again.
"You should have never been born"
CONSCIENCE BEGS FOR YOU TO DO WHAT'S RIGHT
I reached into the medicine cabinet and pulled out the glistening object. I brought it down to my wrist applying pressure.
EVERYDAY IT'S STILL THE SAME DULL KNIFE
The blood trickled down my pale wrist and onto the sink.
STAB IT THROUGH AND JUSTIFY YOUR PRIDE
I laughed like a man possessed. As I watched the crimson liquid wash away my pain. I guess I didn't notice him come in.
The pain was astonishing.
"Ahhh" I screamed feeling the cut as if it were on fire.
ONE FINAL FIGHT FOR THIS TONIGHT
"Why are you doing this?" his sweet but masculine voice asked, still pressing the alcohol pad down on my wrist. I didn't answer him, I didn't have to. He knew why.
WHOA, WHOA WHOA
"Ashley..."
"If you do this, you're just proving that they won"
"They have" he spun me around.
"They NEVER will Andy"
WITH KNIVES AND PENS WE MADE OUR PLIGHT
His soft lips meet mine. He was my life line. And I loved him.
AND I CAN'T GO ON WITH OUT YOUR LOVE
He could slit my throat, and with my last dying breath I'd apologize for bleeding on his shirt. I didn't want to make him angry with me.
"I'm sorry" I sobbed into his shoulder.
YOU LOST YOU NEVER HELD ON!
"I know baby" he said holding me in his strong arms.
WE TRIED OUR BEST.....
I wouldn't give up the battle.
TURN OFF THE LIGHTS!
TURN OFF THE LIGHTS.
Their calls haunted my thoughts and terrorized my brain. The relentless teasing that I endured all through out my school years, was now back. They always ask what's the price of fame? This is. After I dropped out of high school I surrounded myself with only people who were like me, or at least understood me.
Fame though has earned me a new place in the hell that I once thought I had gotten out of. I built this band, to show others the same home I found. And now the very walls of that kingdom were being threaten to be torn down.
AND I'VE LOST ALL FATE IN THIS BLURRY LIGHT
Humanity it's self is very cruel, constantly bring others down. I always asked my mom, why was I born this way? I was everything you could hate. I looked and dressed different, had long hair, was in a 'screamo' band, never the proper weight, an atheist (I had lost all faith in god many years ago) and to top it all off gay.
"Faggot!"
"Emo!"
"Freak!" the calls pounded my brain as I walked along the sidewalk by our venue. I couldn't break down, and I couldn't cry. I had to fight back.
STAY RIGHT HERE WE CAN CHANGE OUR PLIGHT
The only thing I had control over was myself, and I was begging to lose that. I clenched my fist and closed my eyes.
'Don't let them break you down Andy' I reminded myself. Fuck that.
STORMING THROUGH THIS DESPITE WHAT'S RIGHT
One of the boys was now standing in my face blocking my way. He was about my height, but I'd say 50 lbs. larger. He bore a shaved head with a camouflage hat with the John Deer logo on it. Complete with a matching camo jumpsuit. Typical small town red neck.
"Hey fag I'm talking to you"
"Get. Out. Of. My. Face. Now." I said through clenched teeth. He pushed my frail body up against the building.
ONE FINAL FIGHT FOR THIS TONIGHT
"Touch me one more fucking time!"
"Ohhhh, looks like someone's being a bitch today, what's wrong get fucked up the ass to much?"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I screamed punching him square in the nose.
WHOA WHOA WHOA WITH KNIVES AND PENS....
He backed up blood dripping from his broken nose.
"I told you to leave me alone" His buddies all started to back up and finally broke into a run. I smiled at that.
WE'VE MADE OUR PLIGHT
My knuckles were red with blood. I may have won the fight but he'd won the war. His words repeated themselves in my head, like a broken record. I dropped the cigarette that I didn't even light and walked back to the tour bus.
LAY YOUR HEART DOWN THE ENDS IN SIGHT
No one was in the bus, no doubt getting the stage ready for tonight's show. I made my way to the small bathroom in the back and locked the door. The cracked mirror showed the reflection of the broken being I'd become.
"AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" I screamed as loud as I could. I hated that I did it. I know it's bad, but it's the only thing I could do. I opened my eyes looking at the man again.
"You should have never been born"
CONSCIENCE BEGS FOR YOU TO DO WHAT'S RIGHT
I reached into the medicine cabinet and pulled out the glistening object. I brought it down to my wrist applying pressure.
EVERYDAY IT'S STILL THE SAME DULL KNIFE
The blood trickled down my pale wrist and onto the sink.
STAB IT THROUGH AND JUSTIFY YOUR PRIDE
I laughed like a man possessed. As I watched the crimson liquid wash away my pain. I guess I didn't notice him come in.
The pain was astonishing.
"Ahhh" I screamed feeling the cut as if it were on fire.
ONE FINAL FIGHT FOR THIS TONIGHT
"Why are you doing this?" his sweet but masculine voice asked, still pressing the alcohol pad down on my wrist. I didn't answer him, I didn't have to. He knew why.
WHOA, WHOA WHOA
"Ashley..."
"If you do this, you're just proving that they won"
"They have" he spun me around.
"They NEVER will Andy"
WITH KNIVES AND PENS WE MADE OUR PLIGHT
His soft lips meet mine. He was my life line. And I loved him.
AND I CAN'T GO ON WITH OUT YOUR LOVE
He could slit my throat, and with my last dying breath I'd apologize for bleeding on his shirt. I didn't want to make him angry with me.
"I'm sorry" I sobbed into his shoulder.
YOU LOST YOU NEVER HELD ON!
"I know baby" he said holding me in his strong arms.
WE TRIED OUR BEST.....
I wouldn't give up the battle.
TURN OFF THE LIGHTS!
TURN OFF THE LIGHTS.