Depression: My Life Story
Deadly Pills
I sat at my desk holding the bottle that contained the diphenhydramine pills. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I wrote the letters to my family and friends. I know I didn’t want to commit suicide. I was writing just in case. In the pill bottle contained around 26 pills. I took about five pills before I got on facebook and AIM to speak to my friends. It was another “just in case” moment for me. I talked to three friends, but only told two. I was home alone at the time except for my clueless little brother and my dog. Shane and Tyler were the two that I told. Shane immediately told me to call the ambulance, but I told him I was fine. When I told Tyler he began panicking. I took five more pills.
“I’m sorry,” I said while putting three more pills in my mouth.
“I love you,” Tyler replied. One more pill found its way into my mouth. I never thought this plan through. The thought just hit me just hours before while I was cramming for my biology test.
“I love you.” Pop. Sniffle. “I love you.” Pop. Sniffle. Seemed to be my pattern.
“Listen, Kristen, please hang in there for me. I’m on my way over,” Tyler said.
“Please hurry,” I cried while popping two more pills. At first I begged him not to come over. If I were to die I didn’t want it to be in his hands. He already lost one of his friends. I also didn’t want to die in my younger brother’s arms. I downed two more pills and by then I was shaking and trembling. I felt dizzy. I tried standing up to walk, but fell back down. I sat there for what seemed to be a minute, and then Tyler showed up. He began lightly slapping my face.
I was never the depressed type. I was always smiling and laughing. I mean, I had my moments of severe depression, but doesn’t everyone? I believe that I have been unknowingly depressed on and off for about two or three years, though the symptoms never showed. I thought I was just sad. I think it all began when we moved out of my grandma’s house and into my new one. Now that I look back, I always felt weak and most of the time I felt tired. I slept most of the time. Even my mother noticed.
“Kristen, please stay awake. I’m not going to let you fall asleep.” Tyler was still here. At that moment I thought I was dying. I could feel my heart beat racing, but slowing down at the same time. I tired grasping for air, but it seemed like nothing was coming in. I don’t know how long Tyler was there. I was out of it most of the time. I kept hearing things, seeing things, and saying things that I wouldn’t normally say. There were 26 pills in that sleeping aid bottle. I took each and everyone of them, however, those weren’t the only pills. I took 18 fever reducing pills as well. A total of 44 pills.
Moments later my friend Wally came in my house with his mom. Seconds after, my mom walked in...
“I’m sorry,” I said while putting three more pills in my mouth.
“I love you,” Tyler replied. One more pill found its way into my mouth. I never thought this plan through. The thought just hit me just hours before while I was cramming for my biology test.
“I love you.” Pop. Sniffle. “I love you.” Pop. Sniffle. Seemed to be my pattern.
“Listen, Kristen, please hang in there for me. I’m on my way over,” Tyler said.
“Please hurry,” I cried while popping two more pills. At first I begged him not to come over. If I were to die I didn’t want it to be in his hands. He already lost one of his friends. I also didn’t want to die in my younger brother’s arms. I downed two more pills and by then I was shaking and trembling. I felt dizzy. I tried standing up to walk, but fell back down. I sat there for what seemed to be a minute, and then Tyler showed up. He began lightly slapping my face.
I was never the depressed type. I was always smiling and laughing. I mean, I had my moments of severe depression, but doesn’t everyone? I believe that I have been unknowingly depressed on and off for about two or three years, though the symptoms never showed. I thought I was just sad. I think it all began when we moved out of my grandma’s house and into my new one. Now that I look back, I always felt weak and most of the time I felt tired. I slept most of the time. Even my mother noticed.
“Kristen, please stay awake. I’m not going to let you fall asleep.” Tyler was still here. At that moment I thought I was dying. I could feel my heart beat racing, but slowing down at the same time. I tired grasping for air, but it seemed like nothing was coming in. I don’t know how long Tyler was there. I was out of it most of the time. I kept hearing things, seeing things, and saying things that I wouldn’t normally say. There were 26 pills in that sleeping aid bottle. I took each and everyone of them, however, those weren’t the only pills. I took 18 fever reducing pills as well. A total of 44 pills.
Moments later my friend Wally came in my house with his mom. Seconds after, my mom walked in...