Wake up Under the Sun

I was sitting in the dressing room, a rather large Greek salad sitting in my lap. I was lost in the book I had found at Goodwill a few days ago, mindlessly taking bites of the salad and sipping tea. Carter sat next to me, strumming an acoustic guitar in preparation for that night’s show. It was quiet, the perfect time to slip into oblivion and absorb the text in front of my eyes.

Carter stopped playing and left the room some time later, once my salad had all gone and my tea bottle was empty and I was halfway through the novel. I almost wanted to set the book down and take in the silence, but I was too caught up in the intensity of the plot to take a break that didn’t include a trip to the bathroom.

“Lane,” I heard from the hallway outside the dressing room. I didn’t stop reading as the voice got closer and the door opened. “Laney, you need to see this.”

“Lex,” I barely whispered, setting my book down in my lap. She didn’t catch on that I didn’t want to see what she had found and, on a mission, didn’t falter in her steps; she fell onto the couch space next to me, where Carter once sat, and shoved her laptop at me.

I knew the website well. I had used it often and I once loved it. With the crappy internet service on the bus I was never able to use it anymore, though, and I had sort of forgotten about it. But the familiar blue screen hit me and the memories came back instantly. I was going to ask what she was showing me but then I saw it. I saw the dozens of girls celebrating, spilling my worst moment all over their blog as if I had no feelings. As if I didn’t really exist, I was only a robot or a pawn in this silly little game called life.

“How-”

“I dunno,” Lex mumbled.

I couldn’t believe it. They had found out. They had taken one of the most painful moments of my life and were having a field day with it not even 24 hours after the argument. Some were saying how sorry they felt for me; others how glad they were that he’s single again. And some were even saying they couldn’t imagine how awkward the rest of this tour would be.

I logged into my account and saw the hundreds of messages. Most of them were asking if it were true, if we were really broken up, but some were anonymous hate, saying he deserves better than me. I felt the tears stinging my eyes, the embarrassment creeping onto my cheeks and burning them bright red.

“Aw, Laney,” Lex said sadly, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. “When I find out who did this, I’m going to make sure they get what they deserve, okay?”

“Delaney,” I heard from the hall. Lex hadn’t closed the door and oh how I wish she had. I wish she had pushed a chair under the doorknob as a makeshift lock so no one could enter until I was ready to face them. But she hadn’t and two shadows came into view from around the corner and the door was pushed open farther. “Lane. I’m so sorry.”

Who he saw in me now was not the Delaney he once loved. I was no longer his cute, carefree little Laney. I was hurt and scared and alone. All because of some cheap whiskey and a long, cold night.