Wake up Under the Sun

Two weeks had gone by. John had been gone for two whole weeks. He called during the day for a few minutes here and there but we’d spend hours talking at night while his band was on the road to their next destination. It felt weird without him being here and it felt weird to have that longing for him to be at my side.

I was sleeping a lot more now that John was keeping me awake at night. So much into the day, in fact, that I had been missing lunches with Kaden. But I had been so consumed with myself and the fact that John was gone that I didn’t think twice about not seeing Kaden – until dad called to remind me just how much I meant to him.

At first, when I came by without John, Kaden didn’t understand. His eyes looked sad and he desperately searched the front yard for John. When I told him about what John does, how he had to travel a lot because he’s a musician, he gave a sad little nod. After a few days, though, he realized that I missed John as much as he did, and he wasn’t moping as much anymore.

It was a few days into July and the heat outside definitely proved it. It amazed me that Kaden wanted to play outside all the time. I think he did it on purpose. I would groan every time he motioned to the back yard or down the street to the playground, and he’d get this little half smile that told me he knew I’d rather stay in and play with his little Hot Wheels cars but he wasn’t going to give in.

We were on our way to the playground for the fourth time this week. The ladies there had taken an interest in me. They were cautious at first, until one of them approached me with a warm smile and a burning question.

“You’re the Leblanc daughter, right?” she asked.

I watched Kaden for a moment longer before I engaged with this woman. I wasn’t sure how much anyone knew about the whole situation or how much I should even divulge. But she looked nice enough. “My name is Delaney.”

“Oh, honey, I know your name,” she laughed, swatting at hand at me for effect. “I just had to be sure it was you. It’s so nice that you’re spending time with your brother now that you’re back.”

From then on, I sat with them every day at the same time. They asked about John and they commented on how cute we were the day they first saw us with Kaden. They mentioned how thrilled Kaden was and they made sure I knew it was because of me being around for him. They told me about their children, how they’d love for me to stop by to their parties and whatnot whenever I could, and we talked about everything you’d talk about with your best friends.

Every day the women would slowly leave before me, one by one, until Kaden was the only one left on the playground. He’d play by himself for a while then he’d saunter over to me when he was ready to leave. I took him out shopping with me, and mom even agreed to let me take him to dinner with Lex one night.

Even though he didn’t speak, he made a good little sidekick. We’d go clothes shopping and if he didn’t like something I tried on, he’d scrunch his nose and purse his lips, all while viciously shaking his head ‘no.’ If he did like something, his eyes sparkled and he’d smile, nodding ‘yes’ and biting down on his tongue slightly.

After a particularly good shopping day, we stopped at McDonald’s in the food court for a quick lunch. While we were eating, my phone started to ring and I could have sworn it would be our parents checking in on us – but I was wrong.

“Hey,” I said happily, picking up another fry. I dunked it in my McFlurry and ate it.

“God, I miss you,” John sighed.

I smiled at the sound of his voice. “What’re you boys up to today?”

I listened intently as he told me all about the past few days, how they traveled over night from state to state and it was overly exhausting but the kids they talked to every day made it worthwhile. He said there were times when he’d stop and think about dropping everything and coming home – at which point I interrupted him and told him I’d kick his butt if he did – and he laughed, saying he knew he couldn’t come home yet but he couldn’t help the thought from crossing his mind.

Kaden and I threw our garbage out and he latched onto my free hand, dragging me around the rest of the mall while I continued my conversation with John. I was pulled into a toy store and over to a tower of Lego box sets. Kaden let go of me so he could explore his options, and as I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, I caught sight of the music store across the way.

“Have you thought more about the college thing?” John asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

“I’m going to do it,” I told him. “I’ve been spending a lot of time with Kaden and I still can’t get a hold on why he won’t talk.”

“Lane, don’t do it just because he won’t talk,” John said and I could hear the disapproval in his voice.

“Well, I mean, that’s just how I worded it. But I have no idea what I want to do with my life, so why not give this a chance?” I offered. I heard him exhale softly and I could picture him tilting his head in thought. “What?”

“Just.. Be sure it’s what you really want to do,” he said.

Kaden bumped into a shopping bag, then grabbed onto my hand. He looked up at me expectantly.

“I’m not sure what I want to do,” I told John as I led Kaden, empty-handed, out of the toy store. We walked into the music store and Kaden looked confused. “I don’t know what I want to do with my life and maybe, I dunno – maybe this might be it.”

John laughed softly. “I guess it’s just harder for me to understand what you mean because I’ve never really had that kind of thing going on. I kind of always knew where I wanted to go, even if I didn’t know that I’d be able to do it.”

“Well, you went to college, right?” I asked, and held my phone with my shoulder so I could have a free hand to sift through CDs.

“Lane, I dropped out,” he chuckled. “There’s a reason I didn’t finish.”

“What was the reason?” I asked, picking a CD case out of the pile. I then headed for the checkout counter.

“The band,” he said simply. “We thought we had something and I wanted to really focus on it.”

I fished in my bag for my wallet, swiped my debit card, then dropped my wallet back into the mess. I skipped on the bag, taking the case from the guy, and thanked him before leaving the store, prying off the plastic. “Well, it’s kind of similar with me,” I said. “I’m not sure if it’ll work but I’ve got to at least try.”

He made a noise – a disapproving one – and I could picture him bobbing his head back and forth. I smiled to myself. He changed the subject, informing me that the guys were about to head to lunch.

“Well, before you go, wanna talk to Kaden?” I asked him. “He misses you as much as I do.”

After John agreed to tell Kaden some funny tour stories, I handed the phone to Kaden. He listened, a bright smile on his face, and I smiled at the sight. I had no idea how to get the kid to talk but it was definitely not hard to get him smiling. I held his hand tighter when we started walking through the parking lot. He was still on the phone with John and I could hear John’s voice as I helped Kaden into my car.

“Boy, he’s telling you a lot, huh kid?” I laughed, settling into the driver’s seat. Kaden grinned at me. Moments later, he handed me the phone again.

“I’ll be home soon, Laney,” John said before I could even ask if he was still on the line. “I have to go now but we should have a Skype date, the three of us. I’ll let you know when we have a decent internet hookup so we can plan it.”

I laughed. “Okay. Call me whenever you can.”

We said goodbye and I turned my car on. Kaden looked at me, his smile a permanent fixture on his face. “So I bought you this,” I said to him, opening the CD case. I gently pushed the CD into the slot and waited for the first song to start up before handing him the case. He looked at it, confused, then looked at me for further explanation. “It’s John and his band. Remember I told you John sings in a band?”

Kaden nodded, eyes back on the case. I smiled, reversing out of the spot. The drive home was short, only three songs worth, and Kaden excitedly pressed the eject button and replaced the CD in the case. When we got inside, he stood in front of the entertainment center, waving the case up toward the stereo. I figured since our parents weren’t home, what harm could it do to put it on and make it a little loud? Kaden seemed to really enjoy the music.

Kaden and I both danced around the living room to the songs, laughing and giggling with each other. As the CD progressed he became more and more tired, and by track eight he was lying on the couch, out of breath. After turning the volume down a little, I slouched in the recliner, just as worn out as he was. He looked at me, his lower lip between his teeth, and I could see in his eyes that he was thanking me for the gift.

“You’re welcome, bud,” I said softly to him as his eyes closed and he finally slipped away into his afternoon nap. I closed my eyes as John’s voice filled my senses. Only two more months and an odd amount of days until he returned. It was possible. It had to be.