Wake up Under the Sun

One little group of kids.

Probably 70 of them.

They managed to make my life a living hell.

I wasn’t even sure which city I was in when the kiss happened but it haunted me. I couldn’t go to the bathroom without a girl glaring at me. I was suddenly thrown under the microscope. They were waiting for me to screw up somehow, to take the wrong step or say something they could use against me.

They didn’t know me and they didn’t trust me with their precious JohnO.

I had started a blog at the beginning of Warped Tour – just a little blurb here and there, maybe a picture or two – to remember the summer by and somehow these girls had found it and spread it like wildfire. I wasn’t sure what they wanted from it, or me. Most of the time I was complaining about the heat and lack of showers, sometimes I’d vent a little about how upset I still was over the fact that Kaden refused to speak to me. But it wasn’t until after I posted a picture of John and I at the beach during sunset that I realized what they were after.

If they couldn’t tear me apart, they would fake their way into a friendship with me. I’d see compliments on the pictures and I’d get messages saying how cute he and I are together. While some were genuine, I knew most of it was fake and being said in hopes of somehow getting close to John. I answered a few messages that contained nice things or innocent questions about the guys. But then I started to get hate messages, and not just attacking me or my relationship. When I saw the spiteful message about Kaden from someone who clearly doesn’t know him, or me for that matter, I gave it up for a while.

I guess they didn’t like that and started rumors. The latest, the one I heard just before lunch, was that we had broken up and that’s why I had stopped blogging. Sighing, I trudged back to the merch tent and plopped down beside Vito.

“Why the dramatic entrance?” he questioned.

“I use my blog, the fans hate me. I don’t use my blog, the fans hate me,” I sighed. “I don’t even know what I did to piss them off in the first place.”

Vito eyed me curiously. “Didn’t we talk about this already?”

“They’re just going to hate my guts for as long as I’m dating John, just because I’m dating him?” I asked incredulously.

He sighed softly. “Unfortunately, yes.”

I groaned, covering my face with my hands. “I hate humanity.”

We didn’t talk much about it after that. He and I both knew that the fans weren’t going to let up until I ceased to exist in John’s life, so what was the point in beating the subject to death? All I needed to do was wait it out. They’d move on eventually.

But they didn’t move on. If anything, they multiplied rapidly in number. It’s like they created an Anti-Laney following. And John had no idea.

***

John sighed contently, leaning back to fully enjoy the last bit of sunlight against his face. I shifted in the lawn chair and sighed shortly. He lazily rolled his head, staring at me through his sunglasses.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, reaching over to place his hand on my thigh.

There were so many things I could have thrown out there, but instead I went with the simplest answer. “I just need a drink.”

He laughed warmly and the sound of his little chuckle calmed me down. “You’ll have plenty tonight.”

Minutes after the words escaped his lips, I had a red solo cup thrust into my hands. Max winked at me before wandering off to find the others. John and I tapped glasses before we each took a long gulp.

In typical Warped Tour fashion, cups were refilled once they were half empty, to ensure everyone got drunk quicker. The sun had set hours ago and finally, one by one, the boys had all come back to the van.

We were sitting in a circle on the cooling asphalt beside the van, laughing about something stupid one of them had done earlier in the day, when Max shouted that it would be a great time to play spin the bottle.

“Noo, no, guys. No, I’m the only girl!” I shouted over their agreements.

“It’ll make it so much more interesting, come on, Lane,” Max laughed, downed the rest of his beer and spun the bottle in the middle of the circle before anything else could be said.

Max’s spin landed on Vito and there was a brief pause. “On the lips?” Vito questioned with hazy eyes and a slight hitch in his voice.

“Come ’ere, bro,” Max said, smirking.

Max kissed Vito on the lips – short and sweet. Then it was Pat’s turn. He had to kiss Chris, one of their techs. Vito spun and landed on Max again – getting a lot of hoots from the circle about how “made for each other” the two were becoming. Then Garrett spun and the bottle pointed directly at me.

“Oooo, Laney’s turn to pucker up!” Jared teased, nudging me.

I rolled my eyes. “Please. Gar’s got a girlfriend at home and my boyfriend is beside me. The kiss means nothing.”

Garrett and I leaned across the circle and when his lips met mine, I couldn’t help but laugh into the kiss. It felt so wrong and awkward. We pulled apart after a few seconds and I ruffled his hair.

“See? Harmless,” I laughed. “Your turn, babe.”

John smiled, lacing his hand with mine. “My turn, huh?”

His spin landed on Tim. The two kissed and I couldn’t help but giggle at how uncomfortable Tim looked at the whole idea of this game. I spun and landed on Vito, who I gladly gave a kiss to. After all, he’d put up with my complaining about the crazy fans for weeks now without a single remark. Jared landed on Pat, Kennedy landed on Garrett, and then we came full circle.

When it was my turn again, I hesitated on grabbing the bottle. I had kissed almost everyone in the circle now and I was getting a bit worried that maybe my luck was running out. John gave me a quick kiss on the cheek as reassurance, causing my cheeks to burn. I inhaled and held it tight in my chest, then gave the bottle a quick, hard spin.

It slowed at an agonizing, teasing pace. It went so slow I was sure it was going to stop on me, which would mean I’d have to spin again. But it kept going, past me and then past Jared. When it stopped, I felt my heart stop along with it and I choked on the breath I had been holding.

His hazel eyes stared at me through his messy, matted hair. I sensed John tense up beside me, but I didn’t know what to do. Could I declare I was done playing, even after kissing everyone else? I glanced around quickly, gauging everyone’s reactions. They were too drunk to realize what was happening.

“Come on, Lane,” Vito egged on. “While we’re still young.”

I locked eyes with Kennedy and I felt my stomach flip. “O-Okay.”

Kennedy was shocked, to say the least, but when I moved across the circle, he moved to meet me halfway. I closed my eyes tightly, our lips meeting briefly. I was about to pull away when I felt his hands tangle into my hair, holding me close. His lips were so soft and delicate, moving in synch against mine.

I pulled away when I heard John mumble “fuck this” and felt his warmth leave my side. I wiped at my lips, trying to get rid of Kennedy’s sweet taste, as I stumbled after John. He was walking a lot faster than I could have imagined him to in his drunken state, but his long legs apparently knew how to handle the alcohol better than my shorter ones.

“John!” I called out to him, following him into the darkness of the parking lot.

He didn’t turn around but he did reach a fence that stopped him in his tracks. He leaned into it and his body language then made me stop and stare. He looked defeated. He ran his hands through his hair anxiously and tugged at the ends of it before grabbing onto the fence and resting his head against it. He kicked it twice and turned to face me.

“You want to kiss Kennedy like that? Go ahead, Delaney, I’m not going to stop you,” he said angrily.

“Fuck you,” I scoffed.

“Seriously, Lane, I wasn’t born yesterday. I know you two spend all night, every night talking once I’m asleep. I get it. He hasn’t stopped liking you,” John explained. “He’s probably in love with you just like I am. So you can choose.”

“What are you even saying?” I shouted at him, frustrated and helpless. “I’m friends with Kennedy and that’s it. I love you, John, and maybe that’s a mistake on my part. But I’m fucking- fuck, I love you. Everything about you, even this angry, paranoid, drunk John I’m seeing right now.”

His eyes softened when my words fully hit him. “So- So what was that? With Ken?”

“I dunno,” I sighed. “What do you want me to say? It’s awkward that it even had to happen in the first place.”

John chewed his lip for a moment. I wasn’t sure what that kiss meant with Kennedy. There were so many questions, and I had no answers. John knew this as well as I did, but it didn’t stop either of us from wondering.

His lips ghosted against mine, sweetly, and his rough fingers grazed against the back of my neck, tickling my hairline. And just like that, we momentarily forgot about the stupid game and the stupid Kennedy-kiss. I put everything to the back of my mind and completely focused on his lips on mine, his breath against my nose. I stepped closer to him, leaning into his body to deepen the kiss.

If I wasn’t so drunk and sun-exhausted, I’d say that kiss with Kennedy brought John and I a little bit closer.

Just a little bit. Maybe.