Wake up Under the Sun

After almost two and a half weeks in Oklahoma, I was ready to go home. I took a redeye and was crashing in my bed by the early hours of New Year’s Eve. When I woke up, I sleepily dialed my phone and waited as it rang.

“Aw, babe, you ready to be picked up?” Austin crooned.

“You’re too late,” I laughed. “I’m already in my bed.”

He, too, laughed. “Hey, that doesn’t sound like I’m too late. I can be over in five minutes.”

I rolled my eyes and shook my head, trying to hide my smile. “I need your help.”

“Like I said, I can be there in five minutes to help you get that bra undone-”

I laughed loudly, bewildered by his forwardness. “Austin, stop! I’m serious.”

He sighed heavily, defeated. “What’s up, buttercup?”

“Seeing as you’re John’s best friend, I know that you know the parties he plans on going to tonight. I need you to make sure we meet up at the one he’ll be at when 12 o’clock comes around,” I explained.

Austin hummed. “What’s in it for me?”

I groaned and rolled over. “Do you really need to get something out of this?”

“I’m just saying, John’s a tough guy to keep in one spot,” he said and I could easily picture him shrugging his shoulders as he said this.

I sighed loudly and dramatically so he would get the hint that I wasn’t pleased with his bargaining route. “I’ll kiss you at midnight if this all works out. Deal?”

The grin was evident in his voice now, “Deal. What’s the plan, babydoll?”

**
I gulped down my sixth rum and coke. Austin stood at my side, chatting up a petite blonde across the counter. I was feeling the alcohol coursing through my system, making my legs loose and fingers tingle. My cheeks were burning, head spinning. John hadn’t shown up yet and it was getting close to 11:30.

“He’ll be here,” Austin promised once the blonde had walked away. “He texted saying they’re on their way. Or, at least that’s what I think he said. Hard to tell, he’s been drinking.”

I nodded shortly, glancing around the room. There were couples everywhere. And boy did I mean everywhere; they were on the tables, giggling together in chairs, on the couches, lying on the carpet, dancing in the middle of the room.

Another fifteen minutes went by without any trace of John or the other boys. I looked to Austin, the look in my eyes daring him to come up with an excuse for their lack of presence. He dug in his pocket for his phone and quickly whipped it out.

“Oh,” he said under his breath.

“Oh?” I repeated. “Oh?! Austin, seriously!”

He held his hands up in defense before he read the text messages. “They’re going to Garrett’s to have a little bonfire and chill. They’re tired of all the parties.”

“You realize Garrett lives 25 minutes away from here, right?” I seethed, snatched his hand and dragged him through the house. “I swear to God, Austin, if you ruined this-”

“Calm down, baby, I got this. Let me drive.”

Before I could protest, he had taken the keys from my fingertips and was climbing into the driver’s seat. I reluctantly got into the passenger seat. Even with him speeding through residential streets and taking a detour on the freeway, we showed up after midnight.

“You are so not getting kissed tonight,” I grumbled to him as we got out of the car. He made pathetic little whining noises while we trudged through the wet grass and made our way into Garrett’s backyard.

“Look who’s finally here,” Kennedy yelled when he saw Austin step through the gate leading into the backyard. I followed in close behind him, and Kennedy smiled, picking up another beer before walking over to us. He handed one to Austin, who then made his way toward our friends by the fire.

“Happy New Year’s, Lane,” Kenny whispered in my ear, hugging me. He twisted the cap off the beer and handed it to me. “He’s been a downer all night, so good luck.”

I nodded, took a big gulp of the beer, and handed the bottle back to Kennedy. I inhaled and squared my shoulders, preparing myself to approach John. He was lying in a lawn chair, staring up at the stars; his hands were resting on his stomach, loosely holding onto a half-empty bottle of beer.

I walked with a purpose, even when my heels started to sink into the grass with each step I took. I stood at his chair for no more than half a second before I spoke.

“Marry me.”

He tilted his head to look at me and sat up when he realized who I was. His beer rolled off his stomach and fell to the ground. “What? Lane, we already had this conversation-”

“This isn’t a question,” I stated. “I’m not asking you to marry me.”

He stood up now, towering over me. “You’re telling me I have to.”

I shook my head. “I’m saying.. I’m saying it’s what I need. I need to have that title, okay. I need it. I feel lost without you. And I may have had to kiss a few frogs to realize this, but you’re my prince charming. No offence, Kenny. Or Halvo, for that matter. And maybe Austin, too, if this all works out.”

“Wait – Austin? What?” John asked, confused. He looked over my shoulder at the other boys, who were surely looking on in awe and disbelief.

I shook my head, though, and continued. “Just listen, okay? I’m so not ready to take on your world. And I think we both know they’re not ready for me, either. But I need you, John. You are the air I breathe. You make waking up on Monday mornings worthwhile. I used to think love was something made up, that it was all too good to be true – until I met you, and you changed everything. You’ve changed me, do you understand? There are days where I want to completely give up and quit everything, and I often think about what it would be like to just start all over – but then I remember that if I start over, I won’t have you. And if I give up now, it’s like I’m giving up on you and everything you believe in for me.”

John sighed. “You’re drunk.”

I shook my head again, sternly this time, determined to make him see my point. “Fuck you. Do you even hear what I’m saying?”

“Yeah, I hear you rambling in a drunken stupor,” he replied, placing his hands steadily on my shoulders. He tried to move me into the house but I shoved his hands off of me. He recoiled and raised his eyebrows, amused but shocked at the same time.

“Seriously, fuck you,” I spat.

He grabbed me again and this time I didn’t try to move away. His grip hurt – it was tight and demanding, controlling. He leaned down so he could look directly into my eyes. “I have given you so much of my patience already, Delaney. I can’t continue to do it. There won’t be anything left.”

“Tell me that you love me,” I dared, using his own song against him.

John sighed, completely unamused. “Do you hear me?”

“Say it,” I lilted.

John released me and stood up straight. He eyed me – really looked into my eyes and deep into my soul – and pursed his lips, almost as if in distaste. We stood in silence, nothing but the sound of the fire crackling in the background.

“The day you first came into my life, I was scared. Scared fucking shitless – and Max can attest to that. I was paranoid you were going to end up just another girl that comes in and out of my life and use me for the fame. That night, when you walked into my backyard, I felt something in my life drastically change and I didn’t even know your name yet. That’s scary; you have no idea what it means or if it’s good or bad, you just know that something is going to happen. And then, well, you happened, with your cute smile and innocent eyes. I’ll, uh, spare the guys some details but you really changed me, Delaney. I’ve never let a girl push me around this much.”

John’s shoulders fell slightly, into a relaxed position. He swallowed hard and I could tell he was holding his breath, waiting to inhale – something I found extremely odd but adorable.

“You still haven’t said it,” I reminded him.

He inhaled slowly, closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair. He looked at me, hands still tangled at the top of his head. For the first time, I could sincerely see the fear of the unknown in his eyes. “You’re scary, Delaney. You make me feel things I really wish I didn’t feel at 22. I always want to be honest with you and I need you to know that I can’t promise you a forever – of any kind.”

I shrugged, “I’m over that. Forever is overrated.”

He laughed, dropping his hands to his sides before he placed them on my hips. He tugged me closer to him. I instinctively wrapped my arms around his neck and looked up at him, offering him a smile.

“John Cornelius O’Callaghan the fifth, will you please marry me?” I asked.

His lips pressed lightly against mine, melting away all of my fears in the process. I will never be able to fully understand how he does it – how one simple gesture can erase so many thoughts and worries, and replace them with warmth and good will.

“I didn’t say no when you told me I had to,” he reminded me. “But since you asked so nicely – of course I will, Lane.”

I placed my hands on his cheeks and pulled his lips to mine once more before I quickly pulled away. “Good. Please hold that thought.”

I turned out of his grasp and scanned the various faces watching us and spotted him. While the other boys’ expressions melted from shocked to congratulatory, he stood with a knowing grin on his lips. He dropped his cigarette and stepped on it.

“What’d I tell you, hm?” Austin mused as I approached him. “I told you I got this.”

I laughed and rolled my eyes. “You’re right. And I promised you a New Year’s kiss.”

He wiggled his eyebrows. “I’ve always wanted to kiss a married woman.”

“I’m not married yet, Gibbs,” I joked, then sloppily crashed my lips against his. It was much like the time I had to kiss Garrett – it felt wrong and funny and so bland. Unlike any of the times I’ve kissed other boys, though, this time a little hand action was thrown in.

“Gibbs! I saw that,” John yelled from across the yard. “Don’t touch my wife’s ass or I’ll have to beat yours.”

Austin held his hands up in defense. “She even said so herself – she’s not married yet, O’Callaghan.”

I gave one more kiss to Austin before I ran back into John’s arms. He lifted me off the ground – I wrapped my legs around his waist – and he laughed as our noses brushed. I kissed him as hard as I could and held him as close to me as humanly possible. I never wanted to leave that moment, and I never would.